The American Election (For The Last Time – We Made It Out Alive!)
You Mean, Nobody In Your Support Group For Sexual Assaulters?
“Nobody has more respect for women than I do. Nobody. Nobody has more respect.”
– Donald Trump
“You know I’m automatically attracted to beautiful – I just start kissing them. It’s like a magnet. Just kiss. I don’t even wait. And when you’re a star they let you do it. You can do anything… Grab them by the pussy. You can do anything.”
– Donald Trump
Whose God Is Bigger?
“That mentality that this is my choice is the wrong choice. It should be this is my accountability; I will account to God and I have to vote because He put that ballot in my hand and I’m going to have to account to Him for what I did with it. And I can’t use the false standard of I have to have somebody perfect because there is nobody perfect except for Jesus and, by the way, when He was on earth, they didn’t think He was perfect; we only think He’s perfect now. Back then, they called him a winebibber and a glutton; he had all sorts of campaign ads run against him. So nobody is going to fit the criteria, so let’s get God’s mind on this thing instead of finding excuses… [because] you will answer to God for what you do with that ballot and what you do with this country.”
– Religious Right activist David Barton on why Christians have to vote for Donald Trump
“Enthusiasm for a candidate like Trump gives our neighbours ample reason to doubt that we believe Jesus is Lord.”
– Andy crouch, executive editor, Christianity Today
Will You Guys Make Up Hillary’s Mind, Already!
“Who told Hillary Clinton to keep smiling like she’s at her granddaughter’s birthday party?”
– David Frum on Clinton’s performance at the first Presidential debate
“@HillaryClinton was angry + defensive the entire time � no smile and uncomfortable � upset that she was caught wrongly sending our secrets.”
– Reince Priebus on Clinton’s performance at the national security forum hosted by NBC
Oh, Really? And, Just Who, Exactly, Is Responsible For Turning The White House Into A War Zone?
“Our African American communities are absolutely in the worst shape they’ve ever been in before. Ever, ever, ever.”
– Donald Trump
Hey, Joe,
Where You Going With That False Analogy In Your Hand?
“If women are so outraged by Trump’s dirty talk, then who the hell bought the 80 million copies of ‘Fifty Shades Of Grey?'”
– Joe Walsh tweet
Worse Than The Charm Lessons?
If I lose “this will be the greatest waste of time, money and energy in my lifetime, by a factor of 100.”
– Donald Trump
I Don’t Know Which Is Worse: The Possibility That He Doesn’t Know How Racist The Offer Is, Or The Possibility That He Does
“Ps I’m hosting an event in Harlem which will be in front of the state building in a few weeks. We will [donate] Kool Aid, KFC and watermelons to the public on 125th street in Harlem. Please join us to help the community.”
– Republican candidate for Senator from New York State Jon Girodes
You’re Right � It Doesn’t Really Matter
“What I think is anyone who gives free food to people is doing them a favor. Get a bunch of people who say it’s offensive and let me go into their neighborhood and give it out for free and see if they take it.”
– Republican candidate for Senator from New York State Jon Girodes
Vote Your Conscience � IF YOU DARE!
“Americans voting for a president on Nov. 8 must realize that they are voting for peace on Planet Earth if they vote for Trump. But if they vote for Hillary, it’s war. It will be a short movie. There will be Hiroshimas and Nagasakis everywhere.”
– Vladimir Putin supporter Vladimir Zhirinovsky
True, Although Not Quite In The Way You Mean…
“It may not be good for America, but it’s damn good for CBS.”
– CBS head Les Moonves on Donald Trump’s candidacy
“The media poisons the mind of the American voter. They really do.”
– Donald Trump
The Rest of the World (Yes, It’s Still Out There)
The Advice Works Well With Clarence Thomas, Too
“She took me aside and said, ‘Dear, I want you to know the secret of a happy marriage: every now and then it helps to be a little deaf.’ And with that, she handed me a pair of earplugs.”
– US Supreme Court Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg on the advice her mother-in-law gave her on her wedding day
Because Nobody Would Deny You A Job Or Housing Due To Your Thirty Inch Hair?
“What’s the difference between getting a hair weave and changing your skin colour? Nobody was upset when I was wearing 30-inch weaves and tearing out my edges.”
– rapper Azealla Banks defends her decision to bleach her skin
And, You, Ma’am, Are The Price We Pay For Democracy
“Pollution is the price we pay for capitalism.”
– anonymous woman
Fortunately, God Was Silent On The Issue Of Extrajudicial Massacres, So They Can Continue
A voice said, “‘If you don’t stop epithets, I will bring this plane down now.’ And, I said, ‘Who is this?’ So, of course, ‘It’s god.'”
– Philippine President Rodrigo Duterte describes the event that happened to him as he was flying home from Japan that convinced him to stop swearing
In The Face Of Freedom, The Nation Must Shame Itself
“In the face of provocation, the nation must defend itself.”
– French Prime Minister Manuel Vails, endorsing some towns’ bans on burkinis
Working Under The Theory Of Droit d’Entrepreneur
“If you can’t handle some of the basic stuff that’s become a problem in the work force today, then you don’t belong in the work force.”
– Donald Trump Jr. on the issue of sexual harassment
Given His Age, It Makes Sense That They Would Bring The Smallest Charge Against Him That They Could
“When Ryan didn’t co-operate with a trip to see the principal, he was arrested and charged with disorderly conduct and petit larceny.”
– Toronto Star