Whenever I’m Confronted With Progressive Legislation, I Always Ask Myself WWJD – Who Would Jesus Demonize?
“If you think tourists are going to be excited about even the possibility that their wives, daughters and girlfriends will be sharing a bathroom with a guy who decides he’s ‘transgender’ just to have a little fun (or worse) at the ladies’ expense, you don’t know tourists and you don’t know sex offenders.”
– advertisement in a Eureka Springs, Arkansas newspaper; the city, which recently passed an ordinance banning discrimination on the basis of sexual orientation, has long been a destination for Christian tourists
Or, Uhh, So I’ve Been Told By Just About Everybody I Know
“[N]o one wants their private emails made public.”
– Hilary Clinton, who voted to allow the NSA to do just that, defends using her private computer for government business
“What?” Blay Responded To The Suspension Of His Campaign By His Party, “I Would Do The Same Thing If The Fantastic Mister Fox Became PM, Too!”
“I would put a bullet between his eyes.”
– UK Independence Party Candidate Robert Blay explaining what he would do if his Conservative opponent, Ranil Jayawardena, became Prime Minister
Fall, Or Be Pushed?
“The bigger worry is that Canada might fall into the same trap as Europe’s harsh Islamophobia.”
– Ali Orang
On The Other Hand, If We Act Decisively, It Will Spread Like Ten Plagues
“Make no mistake by fighting this enemy here you are protecting Canadians at home. Because this evil knows no borders, and left uncontained, it will spread like a plague.”
– Prime Minister Harper to troops in Iraq. Or, possibly, Kuwait. Somewhere in the Middle East…
Is He Even TRYING To Win The Next Election?
“Mr. Harper and I disagree fundamentally about many things, none, perhaps, more so than this: leading this country should mean you bring Canadians together. You do not divide them against one another.”
– Liberal leader Justin Trudeau
After All, Lear Also Had Hideous Taste In Dresses
“I don’t feel in any sense that what I do is any different from just playing King Lear.”
– actor Barry Humphries on his character Dame Edna Everage
You Forgot Being A Delivery Mechanism For Cartoons
“There is a purpose to journalism, and it is not just to entertain. It is not to pander to political power, big corporations and rich men. Newspapers have what amounts in the end to a constitutional duty to tell their readers the truth.”
– Peter Osborne, former political commentator for the Daily Telegraph, who accused the paper of burying stories about the tax evading activities of one of its biggest advertisers
If You Really Didn’t Want It To Be About Race, You Could Have
Compared Vegetables…
Or Brands Of Toothpaste…
Or
Or
Or…
“My part of the country, I deal with temporary foreign workers and the interaction with employment insurance, and it makes no sense from my point of view – I’m going to put this in terms of colours but it’s not meant to be about race – it makes no sense to pay ‘whites’ to stay home while we bring in brown people to work in these jobs.”
– Conservative MP John Williamson
And The Christian Martyr Had Several Songs Top The Charts…Aphoristically
“I can relate to [Joan of Arc] – sometimes I’m getting burned at the stake metaphorically.”
– Madonna
If She Ever retires, She Has A Great Career As A Food Critic Ahead Of Her
“Well, those breakfasts are pretty awful. If you want ice-cold Camembert with broken crackers, have it.”
– Conservative Senator Nancy Ruth explains why she bought breakfast rather than had a free one on days she was flying
And, I Will Do My Part By Ridding Myself Of My…Gold-plated Golf Tees…
“America’s lifestyle expectations are far too high and need to be adjusted so we have less things and a smaller, better existence.”
– American billionaire Jeff Greene
Canadian Conservatism: American Conservatism With A Decade Delay
“Jihadi terrorists have declared war on Canada. They hate us for our values. They hate us because we love freedom and tolerance.”
– Conservative party fundraising letter
And, If I’m Being Honest, It Isn’t Really All That Creative…
“…great creative really does drive business – it’s not just creative for creative’s sake.”
– Maxine Thomas, partner and head of strategy at Rethink
If The Senator Had Become Squirrelly, The Entire Party Would Have Been Stuck Up A Tree
“A purpose of this is to put Mike in a different bucket and to prevent him from going squirrelly in a bunch of weekend panel shows.”
– excerpt from an email written by Nigel Wright, then Prime Minister Harper’s chief of staff, on how to minimize the damage of the Mike Duffy Senate scandal, especially from Duffy himself
The NRA Immediately Condemned Catholicism
“And we ask for peace for this world subjected to arms dealers, who earn their living with the blood of men and women.”
– Pope Francis
Somebody Has Been Channelling His Inner James Brown!
“There aren’t many places were men can ever rejoice anymore without feeling about half-ashamed because they try to put you down or sue you or something, but brother this is a man’s world. You can say what you want, you can do what you want, but God made Adam in leadership and it’s going to end with a man in leadership. It doesn’t make men better, it is just God’s way.”
– Florida Pastor Bill Lytell of the Gospel Baptist Church
We Are Proud Of The Permanent Underclass We’re Creating For Our Own Citizens!
“This country is not going to have a policy, as long as I am Prime Minister, where we will have a permanent underclass of temporary – people who are so-called temporary, but here forever with no rights of citizenship and no rights of mobility.”
– Prime Minister Stephen Harper explaining to Philippine President Benigno Aquino why people who come to Canada under the temporary foreign worker programme are being hounded to leave after four years