Thank you, Casey Dilla, for signing up for The Daily Me. Our search engine has combed the Internet for up to the minute news items that fit the profile you have so painstakingly filled out for us. Then, we weighted the probability that you would be interested in these articles against forms which showed what people with tastes similar to yours have liked reading in the past. And, then, we got a dog. Or rather, Levinson in Home Extrusions, Extractions, Expulsions and Hardware got a dog, and brought it to the office to share the…joy. It was a small thing that wagged its tail a lot, so we didn’t see the harm in it. Then, it started biting people. On the ass. Levinson said it was just nipping, but, while it’s true that it hasn’t broken anybody’s skin, teeth were involved, so, as far as we’re concerned, it was biting. Levinson said it must have been a sheepdog in a previous life, because its nipping (really biting) was the expression of a herding instinct. Herding instinct – yeah, right! We would have demanded that Levinson leave the dog at home, but productivity in Home Extrusions, Extractions, Expulsions and Hardware soared when he started bringing the mutt into the office. People will just have to get used to wearing lead underwear.
Enjoy,
The Daily Me Staff
Premier Implies She Was Born Yesterday
According to Alberta Premier Danielle Smith, people who chose not to get vaccinated “have been the most discriminated against group that I’ve witnessed in my lifetime.”
Holocaust survivor Ezer Pincus agreed. “The government has been merciless in its persecution of people who have decided not to be vaccinated. It is a disgrace, the suffering they have put those poor, innocent people through! We need a royal commission to determine how this was allowed to happen, and to ensure that nobody ever again suffers the way the unvaccinated have suffered!”
At first, Premier Smith welcomed the comments. After a few days, it occurred to her (or somebody in her office), that Pincus’ statement may have been sarcastic. At that point, she clarified what had seemed to be pretty clear in the first place, saying that she “did not intend to trivialize in any way the discrimination faced by minority communities and other persecuted groups.”
“Was I that transparent?” Pincus wondered. “I obviously have to work on my delivery!”
SOURCE: Festerin’ Report
[http://www.ax2grindnet.com/festerinreport/web/feature222222222.html]
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Two Roads Diverged In The Grey City
I Drove Down The One More Travelled
And That Made No Difference At All
If you have facts on where Canada’s oil sands producers stand on climate change, you’re not alone. It’s time to muddy the waters on this subject. Climate change is a real threat to our profits. That’s why Canada’s six biggest oil sands production companies have teamed up to form the Path Not Taken Alliance. See what we’re not doing about this subject that is so vital to the survival of our industries at PathNotTakenAlliance.com.
SOURCE: Ad Meek
[http://www.admeek.com/A&W/national/article_display.jsp?nuvu_content_id=1000952604]
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A Spokesangel For God Said That He Was Busy Banging His Head Against A Wall And Would Be Indisposed For Several Days Until The Aching Stopped
Some people are born deplorable. Others have deplorableness thrust upon them. Unfortunately, few resist.
Lara Logan was once a rising star of mainstream journalism, streaking through CBS News. Then, she flamed out in the atmosphere of Newsmax, which recently condemned her and announced that she would no longer be appearing on the network.
How extreme do you have to be to be banned by Newsmax? Lara Logan extreme, apparently.
How detached from reality do you have to be to believe that Charles Darwin’s theory of evolution was funded by the Rothschild family? Lara Logan detached, apparently.
Is this mental illness? Religious ecstasy? Accessing a brain portal to another dimension, then mistaking what you find there for the reality you actually live in? In any of those cases, an intervention seems called for, if not for the sake of Logan’s sanity, then to protect those of us who live outside the Basket of Deplorables. At least until the other-dimensional portals open up in our brains.
SOURCE: Karl’s Big Red Web Page of Unreconstructed Marxism
[http://www.bigred.commie/articles/218^.htm]
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Depressed About Its Age And Its Inability To Perform When Called Upon
So, A Reflection Of The State Of The Country’s Prime Minister, Then
“What’s the state of Russia’s missile arsenal?”
– Toronto Star
SOURCE: Billy-Bob’s International House O’ Headlines
[http://www.com/lol.pdqfc.wwygw.wyswyg/fid=1270537838]
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Truss Is A Two Way Street
Tory Liz Truss has earned the distinction of becoming the shortest sitting Prime Minister in British history, lasting just 44 days. One of the three serious contenders to replace her is…wait for it…Boris Johnson.
So. Truss was turfed because she made the problems created by her predecessor worse, and she could very well be replaced by the predecessor who created the problems she was turfed for because she couldn’t make them better.
I love this country!
SOURCE: Daily Semaphore
[http://www.news.semaphore.co.uk/news/main.jhtml;sessionid=M5UF23LWOLFFPQFIQMFSM5WAVCBQ0JVC?nextPage=/DUereDE/wXeR.WZvwF?7wF~/DUereDE/s119/Os/14/JD141O.7wF!2qZiiv~/DUeReDR/s119/Os/
14/e7DUeReDR.ZvwF!8iG7gimmygi2Z~vg3i&resize=null&_requestid=87872]
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Donald Trump’s Fingerprints Are All Over This Policy
Texas is sending DNA kits and fingerprinting pads to parents throughout the state. Since many of them will become felons in the course of their lives, the state government has decided to get an early jump on identifying them.
“Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,” insisted Texas Governor Greg Abbott. “That’s not why we’re doing it. We want parents to have the DNA and fingerprints of their children handy in case they need to be identified after their bodies are mutilated beyond all recognition in a mass shooting.”
That’s better‽
“Oh. Ah. Hmm…” Governor Abbott made noises that approached speech. Eventually, he added: “You know, on second thought, maybe there’s something to the whole ‘early jump on identifying future criminals’ thing…”
SOURCE: USA Whenever
[http://www.usawhenever.com/news/national/2022-10-19-wtc-lawsuit_x.htm]
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Take A Gander At What’s Sauce For The Goose!
Ontario Premier Doug Ford has expressed approval of Prime Minister Justin Trudeau being called as a witness into the inquiry into the invocation of the Emergencies Act to deal with the so-called “Freedom Convoy”‘s disruption of downtown Ottawa. “The Trudeau Liberals must be held accountable for their role in the fiasco that took place over several weeks in the nation’s capital,” Ford commented.
Two weeks later, Premier Ford and his former Solicitor General Sylvia Jones will go to court in order to fight an order to appear before the inquiry. “We have parliamentary privilege,” Ford sneered. “And anyway, this was a policing matter, and the police who will be testifying will say all that needs to be said on the subject. And…and…and I don’t wanna testify and you can’t make me! Waaaaaaah!”
SOURCE: Toronto Startle
[http://www.thestartle.com/NASApp/cs/ContentServer?pagename=thestartle/Layout/Article_Type1&c=Article&cid=4048540434043
&call_pageid=940435240492&col=968640472154]
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