Unless We Sharpen The Status Quo With A Philosophical Strop
“Return to status quo will not cut it”
– Toronto Star
This Is News? Did You Think She Had Permanently Moved There?
“Pelosi ends visit to Taiwan”
– Toronto Star
Will We Regret It The Next Day?
Do You Even Have To Ask?
“The CNE returns Friday with mustard ice cream and other strange and wonderful treats
IS IT WEIRD?
YES
WILL WE EAT IT?
ALSO YES”
– Toronto Star
Some Jobs Republican Politicians Have No Problem Outsourcing To Other Countries
“Mexicans Help Americans Get Abortions”
– New York Times
What Happens When Two Post-secondary Institutions Try To Occupy The Same Space?
Physicists Watching Closely For Clues To Beginning Of Universe (Or Possibly End)
“McMaster University returning to Toronto”
– Toronto Star
Whoa! I’m Having A 2007 Flashback!
Or, Maybe A 1995 Flashback!
Could Even Be A 1986 Flashback…Could You Give Me Some Details So I Can Nail It Down?
“Ottawa to fight U.S. lumber duties”
– Toronto Star
His Penis Is Rejecting Him – You’re Just Collateral Damage
“Friend with erectile problem isn’t rejecting you”
– Toronto Star
We Really Need To Get A Life?
“What J.Lo’s honeymoon wardrobe is trying to tell us”
– Toronto Star
Expect A Flying Circus
“Python hunt kicks off in Everglades”
– Toronto Star
Where Is Chuck Jones When You Need Him?
“CANUCKS AMOK
Polls make clear we’ve lost faith in our country”
– Toronto Sun
Don’t Exaggerate!
We’ve Become So Used To Israeli State Violence That We Don’t Find It Offensive Any More
At Worst, It’s Mildly Annoying
“Israeli offensive targets Gaza militants
Hamas remains on sidelines for now as airstrikes raze homes, killing at least 24 Palestinians”
– Toronto Star
Mother Earth Is On The Phone – She Would Like To Disagree
“AI isn’t responsible, humans are”
– Toronto Star
Because The Old Era Of Religious Persecution Never Ended
“For the Taliban, a New Era of Isolation Has Begun”
– New York Times
Why Would We When There’s So Much Local Ignorance, Anger To Exploit?
“Don’t replicate ignorance, anger in U.S. politics”
– Toronto Star
I Would Say That’s A Shame, But…You Know…
“Lack of shame a growing global problem”
– Toronto Star
GOP Gains A Conscience
“Liz Cheney loses GOP primary”
– Toronto Star
Alcoholism And Suicide Skyrocket
“Ukrainians Compelled to Adopt Russian Life”
– New York Times
Hope Springs Infernal
“Air Canada revenue up, but it’s still losing money”
– Toronto Star
“Airport chaos a positive sign of high demand, analyst says”
– Toronto Star
“A ‘tough year’ ahead for technology sector
But many laid-off workers still optimistic for future”
– Toronto Star
“Cost of producing milk has dropped
But Canadian Dairy Commission is hiking wholesale prices by 2.5%”
– Toronto Star
“Brookfield’s income drops as revenue grows”
– Toronto Star
Solving More Than One Problem: If You Lose All Your Money, You Won’t Be Able To Afford To Travel, And If You Get High, You Won’t Care About Cancellations
“Airport authority eyes gambling, pot at Pearson”
– Toronto Star
Have You Tried Lollipops?
“No, we still haven’t found a miracle cure for low voter turnout”
– Toronto Star
This Might Require More Drastic Action:
Have You Considered Movie Tie-in Toys?
“Number of candidates seeking office tumbles
242 ran for council in 2018, but that has dropped to 116″
– Toronto Star
Don’t They Usually Start With Death?
Must Be A New Writer
“Mystery ends with death”
– Toronto Sun
Steel Toed Boots Probably A Good Idea, Too
“Historians may be key to kicking fossil fuels”
– Toronto Star
Beats Cows (Especially If You Live In A City)
“Reaching the tipping point on electric vehicles”
– Toronto Star
It Depends Who You’re Trying To Put Out Of Work
“Privatization does not work”
– Toronto Star
Although There Is A Master…
“No planning, much less a master plan”
– Toronto Star
A Time For Pete Seeger, A Time For The Byrds
“A Time For War, a Time For Play
– The New York Times
Media Giant Probably Shouldn’t Have Mentioned Their Complete Exoneration From Any Wrongdoing Before The Probe Started Meeting
“Bell announces review of CTV news
Internal probe into office culture met with skepticism from current and ex-workers, PR expert”
– Toronto Star
He’s The Guy On The Street Corner Who Hides Knives In The Pockets Of His Trench Coat
“Ford pushing privatization”
– Toronto Star
Sneak Up On Them From Behind While They’re Distracted
“The art of embracing cultures not our own”
– Toronto Star
You May Not Be Able To Get Blood From A Stone,
But Apparently You CAN Get It From An Open Pit Mine
“SUNCOR
PetroCan’s retail value boosts expectations”
– Toronto Star
“CANADIAN NATURAL RESOURCES
Special dividend comes after blockbuster results”
– Toronto Star
I Didn’t Realize The Tools Were An Endangered Species
“Preservation at Yosemite Includes Chain Saws”
– New York Times