Does My Cat Mittenchops Study Particle Physics?
She Has A Pretty Good Grasp Of String Theory, But Still…
“Does Ford secretly study political philosophy?”
– Toronto Star
When Your Bank Gets Goose Bumps And Its Teeth Start To Chatter
“How much bank exposure is too much?”
– Globe and Mail
Knee Pads And Very Thick Gloves
“What do I wear on a post-divorce date?”
– Toronto Star
Then Comes Baby In The Baby Carriage
“The USMCA has been signed – what comes next?”
– Globe and Mail
Shakincidence
“Coincidence or shakedown?”
– Toronto Star
Endorphins Help It Forget Your Body’s Low
“What happens to your brain during runner’s high?”
– Globe and Mail
Yes: Some Think Prime Minister Trudeau Blew It With SNC-Lavalin, Others Believe The Whole Thing Is A Big, Fat Nothingburger
Fortunately, They All Taste The Same On The Nothingburger
“Is there a difference among vinegars?”
– Globe and Mail
Have You Been Talking To Your Condiments Again?
“Who’ll walk the plank?
This SNC-Lavalin mess just won’t go away and it can’t be left to fester”
– Toronto Sun
It’s All The Rage Under Bridges
“Why would anyone want a haircut called the Troll?”
– Toronto Star
They, Umm, Archeolog, Of Course
“Skull: ‘There are 400 archeologists in Ontario. What do they do?'”
– Globe and Mail
If You Want To Continue To Drink Just Coffee…
“If the coffee’s to go, do you pay a tip?”
– Toronto Star
Oh, Say, Can You Odyssey?
“Greece’s financial ‘Odyssey’ over?”
– Toronto Sun
A Nice Beret Would Likely Have Been Better
“Is Marleau the answer to Leafs’ cap issues”
– Toronto Star
Oooooh, He’s Good!
“Why do I feel guilty for breaking up with a toxic friend?”
– Globe and Mail
The Rest Of CanadaTM Would Be Able To Concentrate Its Hatred More Effectively
“What would happen if Toronto actually became a province?”
– Toronto Star
Oh, Yeah. They Flow Freely. So Much, In Fact, That Friends Recommend Verbal Tampons For Them!
“Do your conversations flow?”
– Toronto Star
Meerkats – They Take Irrational Exuberance To A Whole New Level!
“Earnings growth, weakened economy not driving current rally – so what is?”
– Globe and Mail
Where It Belongs: On The Palms Of The Driver’s Hands
“Distracted driving, where’s the stigma?”
– Toronto Star
How Bad The New Food Guidelines Are, And How You Should Totally Ignore Them
“Germs in your gut are talking to your brain. So, what are they saying?”
– Toronto Star
Remember: Countries Don’t Have Permanent Friends, Only Permanent Myopia
“Iran and the United States: Forever Enemies?”
– New York Times
For Apprentice Witches, Perhaps
“Can water be a magical ingredient?”
– Globe and Mail
They Won’t Be Satisfied Until They’ve Put It Six Feet Under The Ground
“Do Tories really have better way for the TTC?”
– Toronto Star
Sparingly. Very Sparingly
“How do I use anchovies?”
– Globe and Mail
When Did You Turn 45?
“Single and speeding around in a Bugatti?”
– Toronto Star
Hit Delete On The Keyboard Of Life
“I made a big life change and I’m regretting it. How do I undo everything?”
– Toronto Sun
What Do I Look Like – A Vet?
“America is broken. Can it be fixed?
– Toronto Star
Because The Chicken Asked Him To Join It There?
“WHY DID THE CANADIAN CROSS THE ROAD?”
– Globe and Mail
Naah – But It Does Keep Us Busy Until The Ultimate Pay Off
“Does all of the worry, planning and work we do actually pay off?”
– Toronto Star
Undoubtedly If The Schultz Estate Has Anything To Say About It
“Is the threat of peanuts everlasting?”
– Toronto Star
That’s Kind Of What Happens When You Advocate That The Entire Budget Be Devoted To Law Enforcement
“‘What do we have now, a police state?‘”
– Toronto Sun
Who Cleans Up The Mess When Headline Writers Crack Wise?
“Are celebrities now facing an eggs-istential crisis?”
– Toronto Star
Have You Seen How Much Snow Fell In The Past Week‽
“Why don’t we care about climate change?”
– Globe and Mail
Stop Talking About Climate Change
“How can we make our adult children care?”
– Toronto Star
No, I Would Say We Have Equal Contempt For Both
“Does your organization treat its customers better than its work force?”
– Globe and Mail
Because People Keep Reminding Them Of Entropy
“Why can’t appliances just keep working forever?”
– Toronto Star
Comfortable Seventysomethings Hogged All The Best Toys For Themselves
“I’m a struggling twentysomething. What went wrong?”
– Globe and Mail
No Diapers Tour, More Like
“Will Stones be rolling into T.O. as part of No Filter tour?”
– Toronto Sun
Have You Ever Seen Them In A Bathing Suit? Hubba Hubba!
“You think 2015, ’16, ’17 and ’18 were hot?”
– Toronto Star