(ITEM: Officials at the Pentagon in the United States claim that as much as $1 billion worth of military hardware vanishes every year. Although some of it is stolen, to subsequently be sold on the black market, a lot of it is simply lost…misplaced…gone missing…)
Joey energetically burst into the house. “Mommy! Mommy!” he shouted. “Come and see what I’ve found!”
Mom was downstairs tending to a particularly uncooperative load of laundry. “I’m busy right now, dear,” she yelled back. “Can Mommy see what you’ve got another time?”
“I guess,” Joey said. “But, I think you’ll want to see this now…”
Mom sighed and angrily trudged upstairs. In the foyer, she found Joey, who was taking off his runners with one hand and holding a large, complicated piece of mechanical equipment with the other.
“Joey,” Mom scolded, “where did you get…that?”
“It followed me home, Mom,” Joey innocently replied.
“Joey…” Mom said, menacingly.
“Aww, gee, Mom,” Joey said, embarrassed. “I just found it in the playground at school.”
Mom softened. “What is it?” she asked.
“It’s a mutt!” Joey answered, proudly. “Can I keep it?”
Mom took the device from Joey, looked it over for a few seconds and placed it on a small table in the foyer. “Well have to discuss that with your father when he gets home. Okay?”
“Okay,” Joey agreed. He went up to his room to play, Mom returned to the depths to contend with the wash. Half an hour later, Dad walked through the front door. “Honey!” he shouted, “I’m home!”
Mom emerged from the kitchen. “Hello, dear,” she greeted Dad, wiping her hands on her apron and giving him a kiss. “How was your day?” she asked when, at last, their embrace had ended.
“Not very good, I’m afraid,” Dad told her, taking off his coat. “Henderson appeared to approve the merger, despite my objections and all my arguments against it, so it looks like we’re going to – say, honey, where did we get that thermonuclear detonating device? And, what’d it doing in the house?”
“Joey found it,” Mom explained. “And, he wants to keep it.
“Well,” Dad said, taking the device with him into the living room, “we’ll just have to see about this, won’t we? Joey? Joey, son!”
Joey excitedly tromped down the stairs. “Yeah, dad?”
“Where did you find this thermonuclear detonating device?” Dad asked. He was serious, but he didn’t seem angry, which Joey took as a hopeful sign.
“At school,” Joey replied. “Can I keep it? Hunh? Can I?”
Dad looked thoughtfully at Mom for a moment. “Not so fast, son,” he finally said. “Keeping a thermonuclear detonating device such as this can be a big responsibility. You’d have to promise us that you would take care of it…”
“I promise! I promise!” Joey shouted.
“And,” Mom added, “will you eat your vegetables and help me out with the dishes once in a while?”
“I will,” Joey answered, although with noticeably less enthusiasm.
“And,” Dad continued, “will you grow up to be a rich and famous doctor and make your mother and me very proud of you?”
“Aww, Dad,” Joey protested, “that’s a lot to ask for one thermonuclear detonating whatever, don’t you think?”
Dad thought for a moment. “I suppose you’re right, son. Well, hon?”
“It’s up to you, dear,” Mom said.
“Okay,” Dad told Joey. “You can keep it.”
“Oh, boy!” Joey shouted. “Can I take it up to my room to play?”
“Sure, Joey,” Dad said. “But, not for too long. Dinner will be ready soon. Right, dear?”
“Right,” Mom said as Joey left with his new toy. Shouting, she added: “And, don’t make a mess up there, young man, because I refuse to clean up after that thing!”
Dad took out a pipe. Mom looked worried. “Dear,” she asked, “do you think it’s safe for a 12 year-old to have such a thing?”
“Of course,” Dad told her, concentrating on puffing on the stem of his pipe. “As long as Joey doesn’t play with it in that new uranium waste dumping site they’re setting up down the street…”
“Oh,” Mom said, not especially comforted.
“Besides,” Dad added, “it’s about time that Joey learned a lesson in nuclear responsibility, don’t you think? Now, what have you made for dinner, hmmm?”