(Special) A man chained himself to a bar in the observer’s gallery of Queen’s Park yesterday, apparently in protest over the recent revelation that the Ringling Brothers/Barnum and Bailey Circus had a live unicorn on display.
Harold McRaney, a student of Comparative Philosophy at the University of Toronto, swallowed the key to the locks holding his chains together and had to be freed with an acetylene torch. The disruption lasted 20 minutes, with most MPPs willing to carry on despite the uproar.
McRaney was charged with public mischief and fined $20.
McRaney claimed to represent a local group called Unicorns Are Forever, which, he explained in an exclusive interview, is dedicated to the preservation of the image of the unicorn as a mythical creature.
“We see the unicorn,” McRaney explained, “as a symbol. To us, it represents truth…beauty…grace…innocence…imagination…masculine virility; a whole bunch of abstract stuff. But – and I cannot stress this enough – only when the unicorn is a creature of myth.
“A living unicorn is just a horse with a horn.”
Meanwhile, outside the provincial legislature building, as many as 20 sign-carrying protesters chanted: “What do we want? Nothing! When do we want it? Now!”
Lisa Medwin, President of Unicorns Are Forever, explained the reasons for the protest: “As long as the unicorn does not really exist, we are free to attribute to it any characteristics we want. But, a living unicorn…well…that’s just a horse with a horn. I mean – really – how romantic can you get about a horse with a horn?”
According to Medwin, the aim of the protest was to bring more media attention to the problem. “After all,” she said, “what can the provincial government do about the situation? Nothing. We’re talking about the dreams of a large number of people, their hope, their aspirations – when has the provincial government ever been able to deal with that!”
Medwin added that, although she thought the protest had been a success, the group could not condone the actions of McRaney. “Chaining yourself to a rail,” she said, “I mean, that’s kind of extreme, don’t you think?”
Reaction in the legislature was mixed. Premier David Peterson, as soon as he was able to stop laughing, commented: “Well, kids will insist upon being kids, won’t they?”
New Democratic Party leader Robert Rae was more thoughtful on the subject. “I don’t condone the form the protest took,” he said, “but, I am sympathetic to what those young people were trying to say. Today, as always, young people need something they can believe in, even if it is a mythical beast from ancient lore.”
“This is not just another crazy student protest,” Medwin, a student, protested. “We’re really concerned with the quality of imagination for all people in the province, and, indeed, across the country.”
Unicorns Are Forever was founded when a protest to the American Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals failed to stop the Circus from displaying the animal. “We knew we were right,” Medwin stated. “It was obvious that this wasn’t a unicorn at all, just a big dog that had been surgically altered to look like a unicorn. If that isn’t cruelty, I don’t know what is!”
The organization now intends to take the Circus to court. “I’m not sure exactly what our arguments will be,” Medwin said. “But, now that we have the public behind us, we are going to make them stop this nonsense. We’re prepared to take this to the highest court on the continent.
“And, of that doesn’t work, we’ll try Sixty Minutes!”
Rae hoped that the situation wouldn’t go that far. “Court action is one thing,” he stated, “but, surely, civilized adults should be able to work out their differences without bringing Mike Wallace into it…”
Peterson broke out into laughter once again.
Representatives of the Circus responded to the allegations that the unicorn was fake with the following statement: “Protest? Where the heck is Toronto? Oh. Well, our unicorn is real, alright. Yep. No question about it. Toronto? Somebody get me a map!”
“Typical evasions,” Medwin said. “We accuse them of bad things, they pretend they don’t know that we exist. I’ve seen it all before and, quite frankly, it stinks. It just stinks!”
McRaney attempted to put the whole issue in perspective, saying: “What are we really talking about, here? This Circus, the way I see it, is trying to make money off the dreams of people. They’re just out for a buck, and they don’t care what they have to do to get it!”
Margaret Atwood was unavailable for comment.