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Headlines Have Never Heard of Johnny Depp Or Amber Heard, And Nobody Can Prove Otherwise!

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The Outcome Of The Election Was Garrbledeflargh!
It Was Total Fleuglefahaha!
The Tory Majority Was Pure Gehuddenahudden!
Oh, My Gord, You’re Right!


“If you didn’t vote, you can’t complain”

Toronto Star


That’s Why We Need To Elbow It In The Head When The Ref Isn’t Looking


“Stagflation can be tricky to stickhandle”

Toronto Star


Oh, No? Just Watch U – Oooh, Did You See The Queen At The Golden Jubilee? She Looked Like Yoda In Furs!


“We can’t lose interest in Ukraine war”

Toronto Star


Seems Like An Extreme Method To Get Away From Screaming Grandchildren


“Octogenarian crosses ocean
At 83, man becomes oldest to sail across Pacific”

Toronto Star


That’s The Best Ontario Election Post-mortem Anybody’s Done


“Plenty of artillery, but no ammunition”

Toronto Star


AAA (Asked And Answered)


“Will parties unite against threat of climate change?”

Toronto Star

“Mutual repulsion is in political DNA”


Toronto Star


Like: Who Are They Running From?


“If the shoe fits…
Lululemon’s new runner for women raises questions”

Toronto Star


Agree That Such An Important Decision Shouldn’t Be Left To The Ukrainians


“Allies Split On How To Define Victory”

New York Times


Your Health’s Imminent Collapse


“What to expect as mask mandates lapse”

Toronto Star


That’s Why Voters Love Him So


“Ford rejected science, showed no compassion”

Toronto Star


Police Shouldn’t Fear The Questions
The Answers, On The Other Hand…


“Police expect race-based data challenges
Officers warned that numbers could ‘lead some people to question the hard work you do’

Toronto Star


Gave In To Impulse To Be Human
Assures Constituents It Will Never Happen Again


“Liberal MP apologizes for swearing at critic”

Toronto Star


Can They Start With Elon Musk And The Koch Brothers?


“To halt inflation, central banks must destroy jobs”

Toronto Star


I Thought The Discovery Of The Mass Graves Of Indigenous Children Near Residential Schools Would Have Done That, But I Was Obviously Born In A Simpler Time


“Occupation of Ottawa besmirched our flag”

Toronto Star


Those Who Forget (Recent) History Are Doomed To Catch A Virus That Breaks Out Into The General Population Repeatedly


“Fighting stigma around outbreak
Education eyed to prevent perception of monkeypox as ‘gay’ disease”

Toronto Star


It Starts With Non-partisan Politicians


“Non-partisan solutions needed”

Toronto Star


If You Can’t Do That, Stay Under Their Radar


“Rise above family’s years of resentment”

Toronto Star


You Start


“Shared sacrifices needed to fix housing crisis”

Toronto Star


The Feds Need Stronger Bleach


“Money laundering effort ‘isn’t working'”

Toronto Star


And Loses


“Most powerful man in U.S. takes on gun culture”

Toronto Star


Gotta Be Loud If They’re Going To Drown Out Complaints Of Consumers


“Time for our business leaders to speak up”

Toronto Star


Fighting Among Themselves To Get What Monopolists Provide Them With Doesn’t Seem To Be In The Spirit Of Adam Smith


“Competition relies on consumers”

Toronto Star


Lay Off The Involuntary Retirements Will Ya‽


48North Cannabis lays off 20% of staff”

Toronto Star

“Laurentian cuts 60+ programs, lays off dozens of professors”


Toronto Star

“Best Buy cut 5,000 jobs – even as sales soared”


Toronto Star

“Nokia to cut up to 10,000 jobs as it eyes R&D”


Toronto Star

“Air Canada to lay off 20,000 as travel industry collapses
Airline hasn’t said it will extend worker wage subsidy past June”


Toronto Star


That’s No Way To Talk About Our Grandparents!


“Existing fleet of vehicles old, overdue for replacement”

Toronto Star


And Wolves Union Says Members Are Good At Guarding Hen Houses


“Rogers, Shaw insist merger is good for competition”

Toronto Star


The Public Should Be Forgiven For Thinking They Are Considering The Media Portrayal Of Central Bankers As Master Mages


“Interest rate hikes aren’t a magic wand”

Toronto Star


What’s The French Term For “Hodad?”


“Still lots of time for Poilievre to wipe out”

Toronto Star


You Need To Find More Creative Ways Of Spending Money You Don’t Have


“You might be part of economic problem”

Toronto Star


Damn Straight!
Clients Can Complain To The Better Business Bureau If They Don’t Like The Service!


“Citizens are not clients”

Toronto Star


If You Can’t, They’ll Go Even Better If You Avoid Women


“Your dates will go a lot better if you avoid sexism”

Toronto Star


In The Depths Of A Disappearing Swamp, A Possum Weeps


“In America, it’s ‘We have met the enemy and he is us”

Toronto Star


And Smoke It!


“Go ahead, put ice in your glass”

Toronto Star


I’m Guessing Reloading The Chamber Isn’t What You Had In Mind


“Gun RESTRICTIONS
After two misfires, Trudeau needed to take action”

Toronto Star


Girls With Eyepatches Just Not Delivering The One-eyed Wonder It Once Used To


“Canadians rethink their subscription services”

Toronto Star


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