The ecological economist was having a pleasant lunch with the central banker at a restaurant few could afford, if they were aware that it even existed.
“You claim that deficits are bad because they saddle future generations with debt,” the eco econ commented between mouthfuls of something this poor storyteller is not even going to pretend that he can spell.
“That is manifest, yes,” the central banker agreed.
“But, you appear to be indifferent to ecological destruction. Aren’t you concerned about saddling future generations with a planet that they won’t be able to live in?”
“As long as they have money, they need not worry about the environment.”
“You can’t breathe money.”
“Ah, but you can use money to buy breathable air.”
“But, what if you don’t have enough money to buy breathable air?”
“Some breathable air will surely trickle down to you. If not, well, you will just have to make do with used air. Either way, the result is eminently fair.”
“How do you figure?”
“Future generations would be able to afford better air to breathe if we hadn’t saddled them with so much debt.”
The economics major had a private consultation with the economics professor in his office on campus.
“I never understood how supply and demand curves underpinned all of human behaviour,” the student stated, “until I took your third year course.”
The professor waved a dismissive hand and gruffly responded, “Bah. Supply and demand curves explain nothing! If that is what you have learned from my course, then you have learned nothing! Nothing!“
Mystified, the student asked, “Then…what should I have learned?”
“How to allow your ego to be dissolved in contemplation of a spreadsheet!”
The economics journalist was walking leisurely in the sand garden with the central banker. “Your job is to set the interest rates for the banks.”
“That is correct,” the worthy one calmly responded.
“Which the banks then use as the interest rate to charge their customers.”
“Again, that is correct.”
“Your job is to determine a single number.”
“That is correct.”
“In the vast complexity of the national economy, you are responsible for a single variable.”
The central banker sighed. “I would do away with that number if I could. I strive for the mind that is no mind. Unfortunately, the politicians who appoint me are not schooled in The Way.”
“You are responsible for a single number, yet markets tremble whenever you speak. Why?”
“Faith.”
“In you?”
“Indeed. The people believe in the wisdom of my pronouncements in the same way that they believe in the force of gravity.”
“They do not have to believe in the force of gravity – it is an established fact in all of our lives whether we believe in it or not.”
The central banker considered this for a moment. Then, he effortlessly floated upwards until he was six feet off the ground. “The people are wiser as a group than they are individually,” he pronounced.
A common citizen was given an audience with the provincial Finance Minister. “For years,” the citizen stated, “you told me to save my money so that banks could use it for productive purposes.”
“I did,” the Finance Minister responded with calm dignity.
“Now, you are telling me to spend my money so that businesses may thrive.”
“I am.”
“Do you not see the contradiction here?”
“There are no contradictions. There are only appositions that are part of the larger truth of reality.”
“I – umm – okay. I hate when you talk that way – it makes my head hurt trying to understand it, but, okay. To encourage me to spend my money rather than save it, you are now taxing bank deposits.”
“That is policy made manifest, yes.”
“Why should I give my hard-earned money to you through the bank? I would get much more satisfaction by blowing it all on a drug-fuelled spree in Vegas!”
“Satisfaction is an illusion of ego,” the Finance Minister intoned. To drive the point home, he took a bamboo stick out from behind his desk and firmly whacked the citizen over the head with it.
“Oww!” the citizen protested, clutching his head. “What did you do that for‽”
“Satisfaction.”
How deep is the philosophy of the international banking community!