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Cover 39

F3CKEVE027
Texas got the right idea: make babes make babies! Lots and lots of babies! Like, 26 babies! Make them have babies until their private parts shrivel up worse than if they had spent weeks in a pool!

D0NTINCELMESHORT
Right on! Make babes have babies until there so old their boobs fall off!

BERSEKBARBARIAN5707
Yeah! Make babves have babies until their so old they can’t even remember why they liked Sex in the City!

FEELMYASS
Actually, its Sex and the City. And. Not in.

BERSEKBARBARIAN5707
And. In. Who gives a flying doughnut?! We’re not getting any no matter how the sex is situated in relation to the city!

FEELMYASS
Yeah. Okay. That’s a point, I guess.

> SLAYERPSYCHO Bill, you okay?

> SOULWINDOW Fine.

> SLAYERPSYCHO Yeah? If you were fine, FeelMyAss would be all over the Texas baby thing. All over it! If you know what I mean.

> SOULWINDOW It wasn’t subtle, Jack.

> SLAYERPSYCHO See, this is what I mean. The FeelMyAss I know would have been ROFLMAO at that.

> SOULWINDOW The FeelMyAss you knew thought Jackass was the funniest thing ever produced for TV.

> SLAYERPSYCHO Shows he had good taste.

> SOULWINDOW Shows that he was an immature idiot.

> SLAYERPSYCHO Bro! Don’t say that!!!

> SOULWINDOW It’s true.

> SLAYERPSYCHO Man, first we don’t hear from you for weeks, then this. WHAT’S GOTTEN INTO YOU?!!!!!

> SOULWINDOW I wasn’t sure I wanted to share this, but I’ve got a girlfriend.

> SLAYERPSYCHO Does that mean what I think it means?

> SOULWINDOW That she’s sensitizing me to the needs of women?

> SLAYERPSYCHO No, That you’ve screwed her.

> SOULWINDOW Yeah. We’ve had sex.

> SLAYERPSYCHO You traitorous piece of shit!

> SOULWINDOW What?

> SLAYERPSYCHO The movement has been working it’s ass off to make the public aware of those of who, through no fault of their own, are celibate. Just when the media is starting to give us coverage, you go and get laid?! After all we’ve done for you?!! You ungrateful little fucker!!!

> SOULWINDOW I thought the whole point was for us to get laid!

> SLAYERPSYCHO THE WHOLE POINT WAS TO STICK IT TO SMUG SEXCRAZED LIBS! GETTING LAID UNDERMINES THE WHOLE POINT OF OUR GRIEVANCE!

> SOULWINDOW You know, the more I think about that, the less sense it makes.

> SLAYERPSYCHO No, man. It makes perfect sense. We’re young. We’re ruggedly handsome. Were on the right career path. But weare still not getting laid. Being a part of this movement means fighting back against the forces that are denying us our manhood!

> SOULWINDOW You could just, you know, maybe put aside your anger for two minutes and treat women better.

> SLAYERPSYCHO I WILL NOT TOLERATE THAT KIND OF DEFEATIST TALK!

> SOULWINDOW You really need to grow up.

> SLAYERPSYCHO I’M SIX FOOT THREE! MY GROWING DAYS ARE DEFINATELY OVER!

> SOULWINDOW Six foot three? In heels, maybe.

> SLAYERPSYCHO Okay. Okay, here’s what we’re going to do. First, you dump the bitch.

> SOULWINDOW Marlee’s not a bitch.

> SLAYERPSYCHO She’s a woman, ain’t she? Once she’s out of your life, we’ll you’ll have to go through the Born Again Virgin Ritual.

> SOULWINDOW The what?

> SLAYERPSYCHO i’ll have to borrow the ping pong paddles from Gavin. And see if Jeff still has the lightning rod.

> SOULWINDOW What the hell is the Born Again Virgin Ritual?

> SLAYERPSYCHO Don’t worry, Bill. You just have to lie back – we’ll do the rest. When you’re a virgin again, you’ll be allowed to post to the group again.

> SOULWINDOW I don’t want to be a virgin again! This is so much better!

> SLAYERPSYCHO I’m sorry you feel that way. If you refuse our help, you can’t be my friend any more.

> SOULWINDOW Fuck you.

> SLAYERPSYCHO After all we’ve been through, Bill?

> SLAYERPSYCHO Bill?

> SLAYERPSYCHO You rthere, Bill?

> SLAYERPSYCHO Aww, shit!

F3CKEVE027
Did you tell her wear to put the taco smoothie?

MEMBERSONLY027
Believe it.

HUNTERGATHERER027
Waste of a good drink, you aask me.

F3CKEVE027
It’s a small price to pay to call attention to our suffering.

HUNTERGATHERER027
I guess…

> SLAYERPSYCHO Charlie, is everything alright?

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