If It Happened Today, Republicans Would Use It To Paint Democrats Using The Fear Of Terrorism To Promote A Communist Agenda While Tucker Carlson Conducted A Fawning Interview With Osama bin Laden
“9/11
‘Is this how we treat heroes?'”
– Toronto Star
Send Your Astral Spirit On A Quest To The Estee Lauder Dojo
“How do I keep my makeup mojo alive when I have nowhere to go?”
– Globe and Mail
Whether I Give In To Temptation And Have That Piece Of Chocolate Cake
“One week to go.
What will tip the balance?”
– Toronto Star
Potential Female Readers Asking Themselves The Same Question
“The dubious lies we tell ourselves
Novel uses age-old dynamic between a powerful man and younger woman to ask: Why?”
– Toronto Star
When At Least One Of Your Children Has Roman Numerals After Their Name
“When does it make financial sense to hire a nanny?”
– Globe and Mail
Convince Them To See An Optometrist
“The friend I like wants to wait and see. Should I move on?”
– Toronto Star
You Didn’t Even Acknowledge The Canadian Election, So…
“Is the German Election The Most Boring Ever?”
– New York Times
No, It Needs A Stake And Some Garlic
“Does your relationship need ‘a pulse check’?”
– Toronto Star
One Prowls Dark Alleys Looking To Buy Drugs, The Other Gets Them From The Shopper’s On The Corner
“Good vs. bad debt, what’s the difference?”
– Toronto Star
Absolutely! I Always Take A Powder From The Gym Before Working Out
“Do you really need to take pre-workout powders?”
– Toronto Star
Not According To My Heart Specialist
“Room to grow?”
– Globe and Mail
Whatever Opens Businesses Fastest
“What is the threshold to reach COVID herd immunity?”
– Toronto Star
Trypanophobics? Don’t Call Them That! Do You Want Them To Protest At Your Home?
“Could many anti-vaxxers just be trypanophobics?”
– Toronto Star
Not If Businesses Are Willing To Pay Workers A Living Wage
“Are loafers in style again?”
– Toronto Star
Not With The Cannabis You Get At Government Sanctioned Outlets, That’s For Sure!
“How do you make a great chicken pot pie?”
– Globe and Mail
The Conservatives’ Loss Will Be The Proud Boys’ Gain
“Will election loss mean end of O’Toole as leader?”
– Toronto Star
Those Of Us Who Don’t Lose Them…
“COVID is here to stay, so let’s get on with our lives, shall we?”
– Toronto Star
It’s Due To A Rabid Beaver Infestation
“How come no one says ‘because’ anymore?”
– Toronto Star
I Try, But My Anxiety Always Manages To Squirm Out Of It
“Can you harness your anxiety for good?”
– Toronto Star
But I’m Only 61 – I Barely Just Got Here!
(And Whatever Happened To The Idea That You Can’t Take It With You?)
“Is your ‘go bag’ ready?”
– Toronto Star
I Consulted That Famous Political Philosopher, Jerry Seinfeld, Who Responded, “Yadda Yadda Yadda”
“Was the election really ‘about nothing’?”
– Toronto Star
Absolutely! Now, It Won’t Work Twelve Per Cent More Efficiently
“Parliament wasn’t working. Will vote change anything?”
– Toronto Star
Negotiating With Blackmailers (Which We Never Do…)
“What did it take to negotiate detainees’ release from China?”
– Toronto Star
We Ran Out Of Virgins
“Canadians, what became of sacrifice for the greater good?”
– Toronto Star
The Flip-top Impotent Rage Monster Kind…But It’ll Soon Pass
“What kind of COVID-19 craziness is this?”
– Toronto Star
Put A Space Heater On The Ice Floe
“How can families best help their elderly parents?”
– Toronto Star
We Have No Idea, But We Were Running Short On New Angles On The Election, So…
“What would election results be with ranked voting?”
– Toronto Star
Sure, But All You’ll Get Is A Press Release About Its Latest Products
“Can you ask a business if its staff have been vaccinated?”
– Toronto Star
It Is For David Brooks
“Is Self-awareness A Mirage?”
– New York Times
Women Have Played Defence For Far Too Long
It’s Time For A Female Offence Minister!
“Is it finally time for another female defence minister?”
– Toronto Star
Virgin Grasshoppers
“What shots should be prioritized for kids?”
– Toronto Star
It’s Better Than Eating Off Paper Plates Every Night
“Should we invest in China or not?”
– Toronto Star
Why The Liquid Is So Critical Of My Life Choices
“What do you not get about water issues?”
– Toronto Star
More Like Galoots In Cowboy Boots Without Parachutes
“Is this a return to the tyranny of suits and commutes?”
– Toronto Star
Nobody Wants Naked Servers Around Their Doughnuts
Nobody
“Why has Tims forsaken coffee for clothes?”
– Toronto Star