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Sorry, But XXXXXXXXX Has Been Redacted on Grounds of National Insecurity

Some Days, The City Needs An Industrial Strength Air Freshener!


“Months after construction ends, porta-potty still lingers”

– Toronto Star


How Would A Millennium From Tuesday Work For You?


“Not a good time to self-destruct”

– Toronto Star


Israel Tells Garneau To Cease Pro-Palestinian Activities, Then We’ll Talk


“Garneau tells Israel to cease settlement activities”

– Toronto Star


I Thought He Had Retired From The National Football Team Years Ago


“Italians Celebrate the Return of Confetti”

– New York Times


Like: Will They Use Space-based Lasers Against Us First, Or Go Straight To The Nukes?


“Trustworthy use of AI starts with acknowledging unknowns”

– Toronto Star


Yeah, I’d Love To, But The Owner Of The Bar I Work At Pays Me So Little, I Have To Be Very Active To Be Able To Pay My Rent


“This summer, take a swim in the pool of passive income”

– Toronto Star


When Did Earth-hostile Become Unprofitable?


“Stellantis eyes earth-friendly future”

– Toronto Star


Gives New Meaning To The Phrase: “A Drink With A Kick”


“Donkeys and wine a winning combination”

– Toronto Star


We’ve Given Up On A Less Bad US


“A Less-Bad Iran Is the Most to Hope For”

– New York Times


It’s The Economic System With A Surprise Inside


“Let’s hope ‘kinder capitalism’ will stay”

– Toronto Star


Oh, Ah, Well, That’s Very Kind Of You To Say, But Modesty Forbids Me From –
Oh, Wait – You Were Referring To Margaret Atwood, Weren’t You?
Well, Yeah, She’s Okay, I Guess…


“What democracy means to Canada’s greatest author”

– Toronto Star


Chauncey Gardiner Approved This Message


“Get back to roots, Green party founder says”

– Toronto Star


He, Uhh, Couldn’t Have Been Very Good At His Job If That’s The Case


“A Kamikaze Pilot Tells His Story 70 Years Later”

– New York Times


The Message Is: Peekaboo – I See You!


“Biden sends a message to ‘rogue nations’

– Toronto Star


The Students Of Miss Pennebaker’s Kindergarten Class Were Surprised


“G7 backs away from making firm climate commitments”

– Toronto Star


Don’t Give Your Boyfriend Your Credit Card PIN


“How to avoid revenge spending”

– Toronto Star


With A Strawberry Milkshake?


“Affair with serial cheater ends as you’d expect”

– Toronto Sun


Maybe BOC Should Hire Experts…


“Inflation worries are rising
BoC doesn’t mind, but experts are concerned about recent hikes”

– Toronto Star


Taking Each By The Shoulders Will Take Time, But, Man, Will It Be Worth It!


“Trudeau needs to shake up his team”

– Toronto Star


1967


“Leafs are built for the wrong season”

– Toronto Star


He Probably Should Have Used A Lawyer Instead Of A Gun


“SHOT AT FREEDOM
But parole board not hopeful about rapper’s release”

– Toronto Sun


The SPCA May Have Something To Say About That


“Crushing Orioles almost too easy”

– Toronto Star


But, They’re Still Ists, So There’s That…


“Populists in Europe Aren’t So Popular”

– New York Times


Unfortunately, There’s No Jock Strap For The Homeless


“Let’s hope we’ve learned to protect our vulnerable”

– Toronto Star


Who’s Been An Avenatti Boy, Then? That’s Right! You! You’ve Been An Avenatti Boy!


“Stormy Daniels’s lawyer Avenatti sentenced in Nike extortion case”

– Toronto Star


It May Seem Radical, But Maybe A New Approach Will Help


“Involve Haiti in any decision on its future, Jean says”

– Toronto Star


Nobody Likes Uninvited Guests


“First it was drought and heat – then the wildfires arrived”

– vToronto Star


Health Canada Warns: Toking Ticks May Be Hazardous To Your Health


“Time to shake it up
Canadian TikToker shares game-changing menu hacks”

– Toronto Sun


Nobody’s Eager To Get Out Of The House…Right?

RIGHT?


“Corus optimistic revenue will keep rising as economy reopens”

– Toronto Star


It’s The Meliesation Of Space Travel


“Cloud Offers Shortcut To Moon”

– New York Times


Can We Have The Fireworks And Ribs To Celebrate Our Genuine Reflection?


“Trade in fireworks and ribs for genuine reflection”

– Toronto Star


But, Umm. You Know, Not If It’s Inconvenient Or Anything, This Being Canada And All…


“Businesses should lead by making vaccines mandatory”

– Toronto Star

“Journalism should reliably reflect reality”


– Toronto Star

“Canada should demand Britain respect Good Friday Agreement”


– Toronto Star

“Leaders should address Canadian bigotry”


– Toronto Star

“More celebrities should hold politicians to account”


– Toronto Star

“In wake of trade-deal, Canada should adopt pro-U.S. stance”


– Toronto Star

“Support for the hardest hit should be our priority”


– Toronto Star

“Opposition parties should help unite us, not divide us”


– Toronto Star

“Drivers should save $150 in insurance: memo
Companies should be passing along $685M in reductions, regulator says”


– Toronto Star

“Police forces across the country should give up their weapons”


– Globe and Mail

“Narcissistic Trump should never have made it into office”


– Toronto Star

“Governments should have helped out Greyhound”


– Toronto Star

“Canada Day dialogue should lead to personal reflection”


– Toronto Star


You Don’t Have To Get A Third Dose – That Shit Would Probably Kill You!


“Why feeling unwell after your second dose should give you some peace of mind”

– Globe and Mail


But, One-bite Hotel Bookings Never Satisfy My Hunger!


“Report urges ‘bite-sized’ tourism until pandemic eases”

– Toronto Star


Oh, I Don’t Know – Some Parts Of The Country Seem Quite Unified On The Subject!


“Country split on views of race, racism”

– Toronto Star

“There is no Islamophobia in Canada”


– Toronto Sun

“Trudeau Liberals are flirting with anti-Semitism”


– Toronto Sun


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