Thank you, Prabhakar Ragdoll, for signing up for The Daily Me. Our search engine has combed the Internet for up to the minute news items that fit the profile you have so painstakingly filled out for us. Then, we weighted the probability that you would be interested in these articles against forms which showed what people with tastes similar to yours have liked reading in the past. [Insert personalized comments here. DO NOT FORGET this step. It’s important to make the credulous boobs who actually believe the mainstream media pap we peddle that we give it to them in their own best interests. Whatever you do, MAKE SURE TO REMOVE THIS PARENTHETICAL, PLACEHOLDING COMMENT BEFORE MAILING! Let our readers feel the love.]
Enjoy,
The Daily Me Staff
The Internet’s Cult Of Amateurism Claims Another Victim
A Vancouver area man was sentenced to 19 months in prison for sending an email fax falsely claiming to be a Muslim with information on a terrorist cell that planned on attacking Canada’s Integrated National Security Enforcement Team in Ottawa.
And, rightly so! If amateurs spread fear about possible terrorist activity, who is going to believe they government when they do it?
SOURCE: The National Whipping Post
[http://www.canada.com/national/nationalwhippingpost/opinion/story.html?ia=0ec0ecda-b6e6-4c18-bif9-07b642cc48ec]
more
Easy To See How It Has Become A Classic Of English Literature
Huckleberry Finnegan’s Wake is about a day in the life of Leopold Bloom, who travels around Dublin on a raft with Jim, a black man trying to escape slavery. This book explores our existential position in the world, the inhumanity of the institution of slavery, and the absurdity of naming children after pie fruit.
SOURCE: Unread Book News
[http://217.204.41.50/cgi/NGoto/2/64382861?3518]
more
Frum Bad To Worse
David Frum has written complaining that he was not included in an article run last week called “People Who Make Me Ashamed To Be Jewish.” It is true that, had I written the piece in 2003 or 2004, Frum would have been front and centre for helping craft the inane rhetoric of the Bush administration, rhetoric that contributed to two disastrous wars, millions of deaths and displaced persons and a tanking American economy.
But, this is 2008. Not only has Frum not been as publicly active as he was then, but his latest book is actually critical of the far right politics he used to support. Compared to, say, Mark Steyn’s extreme Muslim-baiting, or Paul Wolfowitz’ continued existence, which is an affront to decent people everywhere, Frum currently comes across as – dare I say it? – practically…liberal.
I am sorry that Frum could not be included in my list. But, really, if he wants to be included in an article stronger than “People Who Make Me Vaguely Embarrassed To Be Jewish,” he is going to have to return to the rhetoric of his prime.
SOURCE: Les Pages aux Folles
[http://www.lespagesauxfolles.ca]
more
It Might Make Sense If I Actually Read The Articles, But Where Would The Fun In That Be?
“Inflation rate drops to six-month low”
– headline in the Toronto Star
“US core prices increase at top pace in 15 months”
– headline in the Toronto Star on the article below the one with the headline quoted above
SOURCE: Billy-Bob’s International House O’ Headlines
[http://www.com/lol.pdqfc.wwygw.wyswyg/fid=1379253438]
more
Stop Me If You’ve Heard This One Before: Eighteen Muslim Men Walk Into A Bar…
Q: Two Muslim men in Toronto were convicted of smuggling handguns across the border; they are part of a gaggle of 18 men who are being tried for terrorism. At the same time, former Ontario Education Minister John Snobelen, who has pled guilty to possession of a restricted weapon after he was found with a gun he had brought back from a trip to the United States, is asking the court not to give him a criminal record. Why the difference between the two cases?
A: The incompetent Muslims threatened all Canadians, whereas the incompetent Tories only threatened the poor.
SOURCE: aye Weakly
[http://www.aye.net/]
more
It Might Make Sense If I Actually Read The Articles, But I Always Preferred The Tristan Tzara Approach To The News
“Lehman profit tumble not as bad as forecast
Writedown, capital markets contribute to 57% dive as company affirms its liquidity after Bear fire sale.”
– headline in the Toronto Star
“Goldman Sachs income plunges by half
But ‘stellar report’ beats sharply lower prediction”
– headline in the Toronto Star on the article below the one with the headline quoted above
SOURCE: Billy-Bob’s International House O’ Headlines
[http://www.com/lol.pdqfc.wwygw.wyswyg/fid=1374923905]
more
In Times Of War Everybody Settles
YOU WANT: your tax dollars to be used to pay the salaries of soldiers who will track down and killing terrorists, lessening their threat to you. YOU’LL SETTLE: for your tax dollars being used to pay for the rations that the soldiers who are tracking down and killing terrorists, lessening their threat to you, will eat. YOU’LL GET: your tax dollars being used to pay for the bullets that will kill foreign children, increasing the terrorist threat against you. Sorry.
SOURCE: Les Pages aux Folles
[http://www.lespagesauxfolles.ca]
more
We’re Sure HAL Couldn’t Be Prouder Of His Descendant
9pm. TMN. Dextre. The Canadian robot continues to be helpful to astronauts in the space station even as it masks its psychotic hatred of other mechanical devices. However, it comes under suspicion when a virus is found in the on-board circuitry of a Russian ship docking with the space station.
SOURCE: Ukrainian TV Guide
[http://www.tvguide.ua/listings/index.asp?referrerID=0&returnurl=%2Flistings%2Findex%2Easp%3F®Mode=0]
more
Staving Off Flaherty Fatigue For Another Week
How to Make Enemies and Influence Nobody
Jim Flaherty
Right Wing Press
$8 billion
Canadian Finance Minister Jim Flaherty’s jeremiad against Ontario’s social spending on the eve of the release of the provincial budget could be seen as the ultimate self-hurt book. You have to admire the consistency of his message – until you truly think about it, at which point you have to be appalled by his message.
SOURCE: Unread Book News
[http://217.204.41.52/cgi/NGoto/2/64382861?3518]
more
The Always Effective “I Have A Nightmare” Speech
WHAT BARACK OBAMA SAID: That [black] anger is not always productive; indeed, all too often it distracts attention from solving real problems; it keeps us from squarely facing our own complicity in our condition, and prevents the African-American community from forging the alliances it needs to bring about real change. But the anger is real; it is powerful; and to simply wish it away, to condemn it without understanding its roots, only serves to widen the chasm of misunderstanding that exists between the races.
WHAT THE TELEVISION PUNDITS HEARD: Black anger is not always productive, but it is real, it is powerful, and you’re going to have to deal with it. That’s right, you honky motherfuckers, WE’RE COMING FOR YOU! Yeah, and your women! And your pets! We’re gonna burn this motherfucker down and create a society where whites are the ones who shuck and whites are the ones who jive. AND, I’M THE MAN IN CHARGE OF MAKING IT HAPPEN!
SOURCE: Politics for Dummies
[http://www.politicsfordummies.com/home.asp?did=544&dir=bb]
more