Thank you, Bogart Saifalla, for signing up for The Daily Me. Our search engine has combed the Internet for up to the minute news items that fit the profile you have so painstakingly filled out for us. Then, we weighted the probability that you would be interested in these articles against forms which showed what people with tastes similar to yours have liked reading in the past. Then, we realized that some people might not approve of our relationships with 17 year-old girls. But, really! Can we help it if 17 year-old girls find us attractive? Some people should get that stick out of their ass and lighten up a little! Yes, we’re talking to you, Judge Wallace!
Enjoy,
The Daily Me Staff
Q: Can You Want To Sleep With Barack Obama And Still Be A Feminist?
Q: Can you oppose Hillary Clinton’s run for the Presidency and not be a sexist pig bastard?
A: No.
Q: Oh. Okay. Thanks for clearing that up.
A: Any time.
SOURCE: Womyn’s e-Vents
[http://www.womynsevents.fem/article.cfm/dyn/aid/1066]
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Oh, John, Why Don’t You Be A Manley About It?
SLUDGE: John Manley defended his report on Canada’s role in Afghanistan at a press conference after its release.
MANLEY: Absolutely, this is in the Liberal tradition set by Lester Pearson decades ago. And, of course, when I say “the Liberal tradition,” I don’t, strictly speaking, mean the part where we are actively engaged in prosecuting a war, since Pearson’s agenda was to maintain the peace. But, I would maintain that – oh, and the Conservative government’s ever-shifting rationale for our involvement in the war in Afghanistan would seem to be at odds with the transparency of the process Pearson developed for United Nations peacekeeping. Still, looked at in light of – yeah, yeah, Pearson would not have approved of Canadian troops colluding with torturers.
Other than that, I am convinced Pearson would have given Canadian involvement in the Afghan war his wholehearted blessing.
SOURCE: The Irrational
[http://www.mc.ca/stories/2008/01/03/thedesecentofmanley080103]
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Puck That!
Herbert “Mack” Trucke has been charged with giving contradictory evidence at his son’s bail hearing. He claimed that his son, Diddebert, was obeying a court-ordered curfew, when, in fact, he drove his son to a hotel where Diddebert met with his underage girlfriend. What they did together is a matter of speculation, but it sure wasn’t watching Holly Montana videos.
Trucke’s neighbours have been critical of his actions. “A father who truly loves his child won’t help him commit a crime,” stated Fred “Bed” Hedde. “Unless the father is a sports legend – then, I guess, it would be a loving thing to do.
SOURCE: Canadian Depress
[http://www.cd.org/english/nopuckyou.htm]
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Of Course, Keeping Them On The Streets Will Make The Neighbourhood Safer
“[The developer] is not ignorant of our children finding condoms and needles in the back lanes… He is not ignorant of the daily struggles of shop owners trying to stop crazed individuals from stealing items outright and urinating in front of their shop doors.”
– letter Liberal Member of Provincial Parliament Tony Ruprecht sent to Toronto’s committee of adjustment asking it to deny an application for 10 unites of supportive housing for mentally ill citizens
SOURCE: No Comment Quotes
[http://thesepeopleareinsane.psy/update.toshtml]
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It’s Been Tougher To Like Since It Came Back From Hiatus With A Female Lead
Triangulator Comics #117. October, 2008. Dark Hoarse. The Triangulator (alter-ego: Hillary Clinton) faces her toughest foe yet when she confronts…The Triangulator (alter-ego: John McCain). Can her waffling on such subjects as health reform and the Iraq war beat his backtracking on religious intolerance and tax cuts for the wealthy? The only way to find out is to get this must have issue!
SOURCE: Unread Book News
[http://217.204.41.49/cgi/NGoto/2/64382861?3518]
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Like Democracy?
“We can’t impose values on Afghans”
– headline over a Rosie Dimanno column in the Toronto Star
SOURCE: Billy-Bob’s International House O’ Headlines
[http://www.com/lol.pdqfc.wwygw.wyswyg/fid=1326537278]
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If Sports Was Like Politics
Capping a perfect year the New England Patriots went 19-0 by winning the Super Bowl 14-10 over the New York Giants. Some in the liberal press are undermining the greatness of the Patriots’ victory by claiming that they actually lost, that the Giants pulled out an upset victory in the dying seconds of the game. Well, the agents of defeatism will not be accepted on this sports programme.
They obviously don’t realize that we make our own reality, and if we say that the Patriots won, the Patriots won.
SOURCE: The Schwartz Sports Report
[http://www.schwartzsportsreport.com/ssr-news.shtml#56238133665]
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No Guts, No Gory
sine on the dotted line) Prime Minister Stephen Harper used a speech to Conservatives in Ottawa to encourage them to ignore academics and expert advice and to trust their intuition, to go with their gut feelings. What can we learn from this?
a) not to stand too close to American President George W. Bush – he’s catching
b) Stephen Harper, the most powerful man in Canada, really wants to be Stephen Colbert
c) my intuition tells me it’s crazy
SOURCE: Les Pages aux Folles
[http://www.lespagesauxfolles.ca]
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Bendy Straws ARE The Best For Brain Sucking
HOST: Okay, panel, it’s Ordinary Monday. Your predictions for what’s going to happen tomorrow?
CONSERVATIVE: Mike Huckabee is going to tear the top of John McCain’s skull off.
HOST: Why would Huckabee do that?
CONSERVATIVE: To prove to his religious base that he’s more god-fearing.
HOST: I see. And, is he going to suck McCain’s brains out of his skull cavity with a bendy straw?
CONSERVATIVE: Metaphorically?
HOST: Uhh…okay. Sure. Metaphorically.
CONSERVATIVE: Oh, yeah!
HOST: Liberal?
LIBERAL: I think Obama is going to surprise everybody with his best showing yet. Unless Hillary’s campaigning has swayed a lot of caucus-goers, in which case it won’t.
HOST: Decisive, as ever, Liberal. NDP?
NDP: Why do we call the Democratic candidates by their first names, but the Republican candidates by their last names?
HOST: Why do I even bother?
SOURCE: Drew’s Transcript-o-rama
[http://www.transcript-o-rama.com/bendyeffendi.shtml]
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Make War, Not Love
In January 2007, Iraqi authorities reported that 16,273 Iraqis, including 14,298 civilians, 1,348 police and 627 soldiers, had wild, passionate sex in 2006. That’s in contrast to the numbers contained in a study released in fall 2004 by the British medical journal The Lancet. That study surveyed Iraqi households and compared copulation rates before the invasion to those after, and concluded about 100,000 civilians likely made passionate love because of the coalition sexual action.
Left-wing British journalist Robert Fisk wrote last July that many sexual acts go unreported, as families often refuse to speak of such things. “Sex is now so routine even the most glorious fucking becomes a footnote,” wrote Fisk in the Independent.
When will the madness end?
SOURCE: Alternate Reality News Service
[http://www.arns.com/sinbin?id=35322642514641388587fx]
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