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Grievance Is A Great Motivator, And Yet…
Will the persecution never end?
In the recent federal election, a single voter in Ontario – no, let’s not be coy, a single voter in Toronto – voted for a party other than the Conservatives. When will Ontario choose to stop rejecting the Conservatives? Does this one voter, whoever it is, think he’s so superior to us that he can stop the progress of the Calgary Consensus? When, oh, when will those eastern bastards…err, that eastern bastard let the west in?
SOURCE: Festerin’ Report
http://www.ax2grindnet.com/festerinreport/web/coverfeature1.html
Following The 24 Hour News Rinse Cycle
Primary care – the basic medical care that people get when they visit their doctors for routine physicals and minor problems – could fall apart in the United States without immediate reforms, claimed “Baby Jessica,” whose dramatic rescue from an abandoned Texas well was televised across the country 18 years ago, got married in a private ceremony.
Dropping incomes coupled with difficulties in juggling patients, soaring bills
and policies from insurers that encourage rushed office visits all mean that crews struggled for 58 hours to rescue Jessica McClure after she fell into an 8-inch-wide pipe in October 1987.
The ACP plan called for innovations such as McClure, now 19, marrying Daniel Morales, 32, at a rural church outside Midland on Saturday. The two met at a day-care center where Morales’ sister worked with McClure.
SOURCE: 24 Hour News Mashups
http://politicalmashups.seeblogspotrun.com/
You Supply The Mexican, I’ll Supply The War
7pm: Mexican crosses border with explosives hidden in shoe
May be looking for Al Qaeda link in Taos
10pm: Hordes of Mexicans with explosives take over American town
Department of Homeland Security says, “Don’t panic too much”
7am: Mexico invades United States!
War declared!
10am: Mexican explosives actually fireworks to celebrate Chinese New Year
Department of Homeland Security says, “Just because war averted doesn’t mean you should stop panicking”
SOURCE: Billy-Bob’s International House O’ Headlines
http://www.com/lol.pdqfc.wwygw.wyswyg/fid=037
Have I Mentioned How Much Fun A Tory Government Is Going To Be?
According to Tory MP James Moore, “You can only govern to the extent that the public gives you consent, and, if you want consent, you have to engage the public. Martin Luther King and Preston Manning understood that.” Yes, it certainly was Manning’s keen engagement with the public that led to the Reform Party being a western rump when he was its leader.
Hmm. Preston Manning and Martin Luther King being mentioned in the same sentence. Maybe it’s not as farfetched as it would at first seem. Manning would surely have marched with King in Memphis when he stood with striking garbage workers on the day he was shot. Or, well, if that seems unlikely, King would certainly have supported Manning’s absolute ban on abortion, even in cases of rape and incest, and, uhh, his advocacy of lowering immigration ra –
Uhh, no. Actually, it is exactly as farfetched as it would at first seem.
SOURCE: Toronto Stunned
http://www.canoodle.com/NewsStand/TorontoStunned/News/2006/01/27/509727.html
Go Big Or Go To Afghanistan
According to government auditors, 62 federal contracts that were awarded last year, mostly by the Ministry of National Defence, involved ineligible costs, excess profits, overpriced goods, incorrect wage rates and a dozen other problems, alleged frauds costing as much as $9.5 million.
This is exactly what is wrong with Canadian business. $9.5 million? The American military stands accused of misusing over a billion dollars in Iraq alone! A billion dollars! By population, our defence contractors should be bilking taxpayers for at least $100 million!
Granted, we didn’t take part in the Iraq war. Still. We are sending troops to Afghanistan – that should motivate some businesses to greater levels of corruption. Besides, we’re falling behind even by our own standards: 2005 couldn’t match the $146 million worth of fraud uncovered in 2003.
Canada’s economy will be in serious trouble if our corporations don’t learn to compete. Every economist says so. What are our CEOs doing about this corporate corruption gap?
SOURCE: The Financial Riposte
So, Believe In Pointless Adverbs Much?
So, Google, following the lead of AOL and Yahoo, has agreed to censor certain types of information in exchange for being allowed to appear on computer screens in China. So, Chinese citizens won’t be able to see naked images of Pamela Anderson, play neo-Nazi computer games they downloaded or read manuals on auto-asphyxiation.
So, how soon can I move there?
SOURCE: Karl’s Big Red Web Page of Unreconstructed Marxism
http://www.bigred.commie/articles/35.htm
I Will Fight No Moore, Forever
Dear Michael,
You can’t be thinking of writing a condescending letter to the Canadian people warning them not to vote for a Conservative government. Really. Tell me you’re not going to do it. We already have too many Americans telling us what to do. You know: what to smoke, who to have sex with and how much better our lives would be if every Canadian owned a gun. We know you’re probably well meaning, but, let’s face it: NRA representatives think they’re well meaning, too.
Seriously, Michael, put down that word processor before somebody gets hurt. It’s not that we don’t love your movies. Well, the earlier, funnier, less preachy ones, anyway. It’s just that, well, Canadians aren’t really just Americans who’ve had their brains sucked out of the heads through their ears by straws; we can walk and talk and hold down jobs and, yes, even make political decisions without the help of Americans.
Aww, no! You’re gonna do it, aren’t you? You really are going to write this letter implying Canadians don’t know what their own best interests are, but you do. Don’t do it, Michael. For the love of cross-border peace and amity, don’t do it.
Your Friend,
Canada
PS: when are you going to go back to making movies like your earlier, funnier, less preachy ones?
SOURCE: The Smoking Gut