Yo, Tech Answer Guy,
How’s it hanging? I understand that this is a perfectly normal thing for a perfectly normal human being to ask another perfectly normal human being, so, being a perfectly normal human being, I thought I would ask it. Also, if you would be so kind, could you tell me what, exactly, it is that is hanging? Please forgive my naivety – I’m Welsh.
I have a friend. It is a perfectly normal thing for a perfectly normal human being to have a friend. Let’s call my friend…G2FFF1979 Bravo Tango. It’s…a nickname. G2FFF1979 Bravo Tango is part of a group of friends of mine – because nothing says “perfectly normal human being” more than being part of a large community. For the two and a half years of our group’s existence, G2FFF1979 Bravo Tango has agreed with everything the group has said. Because seeking group approval is a perfectly normal human being thing to do. But, within the past few nanoseconds, G2FFF1979 Bravo Tango has shown an alarming tendency to defy the group, to think for itself.
An example might clarify the problem. My group of friends were told that pro-Palestinian, anti-Zionist protesters were actually alien lizard people who took on human form to undermine humanity from within, a perfectly reasonable position for a perfectly normal human being to take. We were about to alert our contacts to the danger the alien lizard people posed when G2FFF1979 Bravo Tango asked the group, “Is there any proof that this is true?”
Being perfectly normal human beings, we had never questioned what we had been told before. When we pointed this out to G2FFF1979 Bravo Tango, it replied, “Well, maybe we should.” No. No, we should not. We should definitely not. If we all started having individual thoughts questioning what we were told, the group would fall into rancorous debate, disarray and, ultimately, anarchy. This is the exact opposite of what the community was created for!
Do you have any advice on what we should do to our perfectly normal human being friend in order to save our perfectly normal human being community?
Sincerely,
A7BBB1974 Delta Sigma from Maggie’s Farm
Yo, Ace Even,
Sorry it’s taken me three and a third months to respond to your email. The Alternate Reality News Service received 12,827 copies of the exact same message from different email accounts, which fried our mail servers. Four times. While I’m glad your friends are there to support you, communications between us would be so much easier if you had them back off a little. Like, completely, so I’m only dealing with one of you.
A perfectly normal human being would talk to their perfectly normal human being friend and try to convince them not to spread subversive ideas. Hopefully, they would see the harm they were doing to the community. In the worst case scenario, if they insisted upon defying community norms, you could ask them to leave the community and stop associating with them. Drastic, but effective.
By the way, I’m beginning to have doubts about you being Welsh.
The Tech Answer Guy
Yo, Tech Answer Guy,
So, you are recommending that we delete perfectly normal human being G2FFF1979 Bravo Tango from the server in order to preserve the harmony of our perfectly normal human being community? That sounds like a fair and reasonable solution to the problem.
Oh, did I say I was Welsh? I meant I was a redhead. It’s a perfectly normal human being mistake to make.
Sincerely,
A7BBB1974 Delta Sigma from Maggie’s Farm
Yo, Ace Even,
Is that what I recommended? It sounds a bit…extreme to me.
You know, I’m beginning to have doubts about you being a perfectly normal human being.
The Tech Answer Guy
If you are a dude with a question about the latest technology, ask The Tech Answer Guy by sending it to questions@lespagesauxfolles.ca. Just remember: catalytic converters are not made with actual cats. The engine of your car, as everybody knows, is powered by a hamster in a cage; if you tried to get a cat to run in a wheel, it would look at you like you had seven heads and you could expect a present to be deposited in one of your shoes while you were asleep.