Thank you, The Strange Case of The Librarian’s Lost Libido, for signing up for The Daily Me. Our search engine has combed the Internet for up to the minute news items that fit the profile you have so painstakingly filled out for us. Then, we weighted the probability that you would be interested in these articles against forms which showed what people with tastes similar to yours have liked reading in the past. And, then, the Libvative government of Mark Carney quietly announced that it was suspending the country’s efforts at mitigating climate change in order to deal with the economic threat posed by Donald Trump’s Republascist government’s tariffs. So, we can expect even worse wildfires and accelerated melting of the Arctic i – oww! We don’t believe it! The Blue Jays blew a three run lead, losing in the ninth inning! Now, they’re a game out of the wild card spot! What a bunch of sad sack schmoes – do they even want to make the playoffs this year‽
Whoa. Sorry, we just saw what happened in last night’s game and had to get our reaction out of our system. Now, what were we talking about? It was something important…probably. Maybe? Oh, well. If it comes back to us, we can always write about it in a future update…
Enjoy,
The Daily Me Staff
To Be Fair, The Prime Minister Was In Diapers In 1986
You’re Welcome For That Image
1986: Me: Canada is becoming too economically dependent on the United States. We need to diversify our trade.
1996: Me: Canada is becoming too economically dependent on the United States. We need to diversify our trade.
2006: Me: Canada is becoming too economically dependent on the United States. We need to diversify our trade.
2016: Me: Canada is becoming too economically dependent on the United States. We need to diversify our trade.
2026: Mark Carney: Canada is becoming too economically dependent on the United States. We need to diversify our trade.
2026: Me: WHAT TOOK YOU SO LONG‽
SOURCE: The Quick and the Detwiler
[http://quick&detwiler.blogspot.com/]
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Of Course, That Position Is Not Genocidal Because You’re Antisemitic
I 1der how some people can be so unselfaware) Match the person who said, “They’re scum. They’re vermin. They should be eliminated from the face of the Earth?” with the person they said it about.
a) Nazi
b) Zionist
c) pink elephant
d) all of the above
i) Palestinians
ii) blue elephants
iii) Jews
iv) all of the above
2, 2 sad) How do I sleep at night?
a) Nazis
b) Zionists
c) on the right side of the bed…and history
SOURCE: Les Pages aux Folles
[http://www.lespagesauxfolles.ca]
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Who Is Behind All This? If You Guest Donald Trump, You’re Right!
Jimmy Kimmel Live!
ABC
11:35 pm
Jimmy welcomes guest James Talarico, who is running for a national Senate seat in Texas. Jimmy welcomes guest House Minority Leader Hakeem Jeffries. Jimmy welcomes guest Liz Cheney, who was once a Republican member of Congress. Jimmy welcomes guest Stephen Miller, an adviser to President Trump who also happens to be the personification of evil, but is the only guest the FCC will allow on the show without threatening to pull the network’s license.
SOURCE: Ukrainian TV Guide
[http://www.tvguide.ua/listings/index.asp?referrerID=0&returnurl=%2Flistings%2Findex%2Easp%3F®Mode=0]
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Of Course, Israel Would Miss Out On The Only Thing That Made 70s Sitcoms Interesting
It seems to me that it’s wholly appropriate for there to be an Israeli channel on the Only Fans website. After all, how Zionists justify their genocide is obscene.
It seems to me that Israeli politics has become a bad 1970s sitcom version of itself: Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu was told that a Hamas attack on Israel was going to happen before it happened; a Hamas attack on Israel happened in plain view of everybody; and Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu was told that a Hamas attack on Israel had happened after it happened. About the only thing missing from the 1980s sitcom analogy is the big hair.
SOURCE: The Amazing Chocolate Yummies Blog
[http://www.chocoyummies.net/]
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You Lost Me At “I Don’t Want To Cause Any Problems…”
“I don’t want to cause any problems, but I’d love to see it unified. It’s going to happen eventually. It may as well happen now. I think it would be a fantastic thing…the UK will have something to say about it, of course.”
– US President Donald Trump to Irish Prime Minister Michael Martin
SOURCE: No Comment Quotes
[http://thesepeopleareinsane.psy/update.toshtml]
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FILL IN THE BLANKS: Maple MAGA Is __________
(You May As Well Guess: There Are No Right Answers)
FILL IN THE BLANKS
1. Alberta separatists know that they are going to lose a referendum on whether or not they should hold a referendum on separating from Canada.
-> 2. __________
-> 3. __________
-> 4. __________
5. Alberta separates from Canada.
Solution
1. Alberta separatists know that they are going to lose a referendum on whether or not they should hold a referendum on separating from Canada.
2. In the run-up to the referendum, separatists claim that the polls are rigged.
3. When the referendum loses, quite likely by a wide margin, separatists claim (without evidence) that it was rigged.
4. Separatists claim that the referendum actually passed, and that holding a second referendum would be meaningless (even though the Constitution demands it) because it would be rigged against them.
5. Alberta separates from Canada.
SOURCE: Tis a Puzzlement!
[hsttp://www.puzzlement.org/ReferendumPoser]
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It’s Impossible To Become President Without Being Clever
A Political Media Echo Chamber, The Apparatus Of An Entire Party And Untold Billions OF Dollars Can Only Get A Candidate So Far!
At a recent press conference, President Donald Trump said, “Canada wants to make a deal badly. They know they don’t have anything we want, and that if we wanted to we could destroy their country easier than we could swat a fly off a bazooka. Of which we have plenty. More than any other country. More than we would need in a million wars. Bazookas, I mean, not flies. Point is: they know they’re weak, so they want to make a deal, okay?”
Then, just to muddy things further, he went on to say: “They’re just like Iran, which also wants to make a deal badly. Very badly. See what I did, there? Canada wants a deal – Iran wants a deal. Iran, that we went to…not a war, exactly, we’re not calling it that any more, we’re calling it a conflict – so, Iran that we went to conflict with – conflict with war ships and airstrikes and battle drones. Ha! To put the two countries in the same sentence is basically a threat. I wonder how Canada likes that? To be mentioned in the same sentence as Iran?”
We get it, Donald. You’re clever.
SOURCE: The Postington Wash
[http://www.postingtonwash.com/wp-dyn/articles/A49881-2026Sep15.html]
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