Thank you, Mr. Innocent Kanazoe, for signing up for The Daily Me. Our search engine has combed the Internet for up to the minute news items that fit the profile you have so painstakingly filled out for us. Then, we weighted the probability that you would be interested in these articles against forms which showed what people with tastes similar to yours have liked reading in the past. And, then, we were tempted to go out to see a movie, but we hadn’t been in a theatre since before covid hit, and we weren’t sure we remembered how. After we bought our tickets, for instance, we were asked if we wanted to buy some popcorn. To what end? Were we supposed to throw it at the screen if we didn’t approve of what we saw? Were we meant to string kernels together? Christmas was only four months away! Then, there was the matter of the film itself. At first, we sat on our heads, an old family tradition. When we saw that other patrons sat on their backsides, we changed position, perhaps a touch stiffly at first, but still. It’s only a matter of time before we get this watching films in theatres thing right again.
In the meantime, it’s a good thing we don’t feel embarrassment…
Enjoy,
The Daily Me Staff
Trump: Negotiate With People We’re Supposed To Be Negotiating With? That’s Commie Talk!
Iran: You Know, We Could Do This All Day!
Trump: “We’re negotiating with Iran. We should have a deal soon.”
Iran: bombs an American ship near the Strait of Hormuz.
Trump: “If Iran doesn’t want to deal with us, we’ll rain hellfire on their country and completely destroy it. But I want to give them every last chance before decapitation. It’s very tough to do what we have planned “
Iran: bombs an intelligence-gathering installation in Qatar.
Trump: “Iran called me and they said, ‘Please don’t attack, we’ll make a deal.’ That’s the real truth and everyone knows it “
Iran: bombs an American military installation in Bahrain.
Trump: “Things cannot continue the way they have been. We’ll begin to negotiate just as soon as Iran tells us what they want.”
Iran: “Maybe you should stop negotiating in the press and actually talk to us…”
SOURCE: Narcissism For Dummies
[http://www.politicsfordummies.com/entertainmentfordummies/economicsfordummies/religionfordummies/satirefordummies/narcissismfordummies/home.asp?did=512&dir=bb]
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4 The Loss) Why Do You Even Bother?
a) Life Hasn’t Strangled All The Hope Out Of Me Yet
b) If I Didn’t, My Life Would Be Entirely Spent Chasing Badgers Out Of The Pantry, And While That Is Entertaining Enough, One Needs Some Variety In One’s Life
c) I Thought You, Of All People, Would Understand A Rhetorical Question When You Saw One – What Can I Say? I Was Younger, Then
1 real piece of work) Who did Elon Musk tweet was “an asshole?”
a) Christopher Nolan
b) Nicholas Kristof
c) who hasn’t Elon Musk tweeted was an asshole?
2 dumb 2 be credible) Good question. Who hasn’t Elon Musk tweeted was an asshole?
a) Nicholas Kristof
b) Christopher Nolan
c) why does anybody listen to what that asshole has to say? (This is a rhetorical question. You don’t have to –
3 shits to the wind) Even better question. Why does anybody listen to what that asshole has to say?
a) money talks, bullshit walks…into a stadium filled with avid listeners
b) he’s not just the owner of a fascist social media platform – he’s also a client!
c) – *SIGH* Why do I even bo – never mind.)
SOURCE: Les Pages aux Folles
[http://www.lespagesauxfolles.ca]
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Zionosphere Air Is Made Up Largely Of Greed And Paranoia – If You Plan On Visiting, Make Sure Your Breathing Apparatus Is In Good Working Order
The Zionosphere is a strange part of the planet’s atmosphere that rises vertically from ground in the Middle East while at the same time existing across social media. It is characterized by thin logic and turbulent rhetoric. Melanie Phillips seems to be quite happy living there.
As I understand her position, we shouldn’t criticize violent settlers because that would libel the few who don’t engage in or support violence. So, is it okay to demonize 700,000 of the 750,000 settlers? 749,999?
And what’s with this Judea and Samaria nonsense? Are they next door to Narnia and a few realities down from Oz? Because the last time I checked, the world still calls the territories under dispute Gaza and the West Bank. Good thing Zionists don’t draw maps. Yet.
And since I’m trying to understand nonsense, how do Arabs who have lived on land for centuries become “colonizers” who push out other people (who have only been there for a couple of generations) to create facts on the ground? It’s like Phillips just learned how to use a word processor, and she cut the words “Zionist Jews” out of a description of what’s happening in the Middle East and replaced them all with “Arab.”
The Zionosphere is densely populated by violent victims. For the sake of your own sanity, best not to examine it too closely.
SOURCE: Karl’s Big Red Web Page of Unreconstructed Marxism
[http://www.bigred.commie/articles/218^.htm]
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Some Ideas Don’t Deserve To Fly
SOURCE: Politics for Beginners
[http://www.politicsforbeginners.com/home.asp?did=526&dir=bb]
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Can You Rethink Something you Hadn’t Thought Through In The First Place?
These Are The Questions That Keep Philosophers Up All Night In A Cold Sweat
The heads of the United Steelworkers and the International Association of Machinists and Aerospace Workers have called on the Trump administration to rethink its tariffs against Canada. “We could be a little less confrontational and maybe a biiiiit more negotiational,” wrote Steelworkers President Roxanne Brown. “You know, to keep Americans employed and stuff…”
President Donald Trump responded with the following message on Truth Antisocial: “Great news! Tariffs work! Not only have they pissed off the Canadians, now they’ve pissed off our unions! That’s what we in politics call a TWOFER!”
SOURCE: Not to Belabour the Point
[http://www.n2btp.com/content/1&ID=%25%22%2DT%2FRE%2C%20%0A&type=a&mr=332&CFID=721862&CFTOKIN=29657005]
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Hamas: We Cannot Leave Ourselves Defenceless. Surely, You, Of All Countries, Should Be Able To Understand That.
Israel: No Country Has An Automatic Right To Defend Itself.
Hamas: Urk!
Hamas: So, we will disarm if Israel withdraws its troops from Gaza.
Israel: We will pull our troops from Gaza as soon as Hamas is completely disarmed.
Hamas: No, they have to be done at the same time.
Israel: That’s what we said: we will withdraw the moment Hamas has completely disarmed.
Hamas: That’s not at the same time.
Israel: It’s close enough.
Hamas: We will not agree to what you are proposing – it would be suicide.
Israel: HAMAS REFUSES TO ACCEPT A CEASEFIRE BARGAINED IN GOOD FAITH. YOU CANNOT TRUST THESE ARAB BASTARDS!
SOURCE: Politics for Dummies
[http://www.politicsfordummies.com/home.asp?did=1141&dir=bb]
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