They Were Making A Break For The Border When Their Vehicle Hit A Butter Slick
“Fishy business
How did hundreds of lobsters wind up dead on the side of the Trans-Canada Highway, 1,000 kilometres from the ocean?”
– Toronto Star
When A Wall Is Missing
“When do ‘defects’ have to be disclosed in the sale of a home?”
– Toronto Star
Considering The Fits I’ve Caused All The In-person Banks…Maybe?
“Could an online-only bank be a fit for you?”
– Toronto Star
You Get A Hurricane
And You Get A Hurricane
And You Get A Hurricane…
“If not a carbon tax, then what?”
– Toronto Star
It Turned Out To Be One More Thing They Aren’t Competent At
“What happened to all that talk of Liberal mutiny?”
– Toronto Star
The Marquis de Sade Had Some…Interesting Answers To This Question…
“Can joy coexist with suffering?”
– Toronto Star
You Wouldn’t Ask That Question If You Imagined You Were A Pecan With Self-awareness
“Do I really need to say no to a second slice?”
– Toronto Star
Trash Policies They Used To Champion And Hope Nobody Notices The Contradiction
“What are Tories’ climate plans?”
– Toronto Star
Never Attribute To Incompetence What Can Be Explained By Malice
“Why are Tories always sticking it to Ontarians?”
– Toronto Star
The Movies Make Looking Like A Lego Piece So Seductive!
“Why would anyone have plastic surgery?”
– Toronto Star
The William Who Comes After 211
“Whose time does Bill 212 promise to save?”
– Toronto Star
I Want To Respond, “Say: ‘I’m Too Busy For A Visit,'” But What Would I Do With All The Other Column Inches I Need To Fill?
“How do I tell my friend I’m too busy for a visit?”
– Toronto Star
The Fact That We Haven’t Already Suggests That They Don’t Want To Be Found
This Is The Best Evidence We Have To Date That Extraterrestrial Life Is Intelligent
“Can We Please Just Find the Aliens?”
– New York Times
Go Gluten-free (That’s What The Dalai Lama Would Do)
“My co-worker’s odd sandwiches are making me question my own morality. What should I do?”
– Toronto Star
Not When There Are So Many Damn Cars On The Roads!
“Bike lane blame game
As Doug Ford wages war on cycling infrastructure one questions stands out as the heart of the public debate: Will reversing installations reduce congestion?”
– Toronto Star
You Really Want An Answer To That Question?
Children Could Be Reading This Newspaper!
“Where should homeless go?”
– Toronto Star
You Tell Me
After All, Journalists Will Get One Call A Day Just Like Any Other Inmates
“ALTERED STATES
The last eight years have left America racked by chaos, fear and anger. Can Tuesday’s election begin to heal the soul of a divided nation?”
– Toronto Star
Do The Rich Really Need The Billions Of Dollars They Get In Tax Breaks From The Province?
Some Questions Seem To Ask Themselves
“Do the rich really need $200 from the province?”
– Toronto Star
He’s About As Far Right As You Can Be Without Falling Off The Political Map
“Pierre Poilievre says it’s ‘not fair’ for Liberals to turn on Justin Trudeau? Is he right?”
– Toronto Star
It Depends: How Much Are They Giving To His Campaign?
“Does Poilievre have the guts to take on oligopolies?”
– Toronto Star
Why Take Chances? Deport All Of Them Now!
“Window closing for more than 1M residents
But how many will leave when their temporary status expires in 2025?”
– Toronto Star
Is She Currently Somewhere Outside The Universe?
“Can Miss Universe Ever Return Home?”
– New York Times
In The Pockets Of The Institutions That Granted Them Their Mortgages, Where It Belongs
“A HOUSE DIVIDED
The high cost of living is forcing more divorcing couples to live separate lives – together. Where does that leave their money?”
– Toronto Star
They Want To Stay Billionaires
“Why aren’t billionaires stepping up?”
– Toronto Star
Umm, Because You Want Me And Everybody Like Me Dead?
Sorry, But I Kind Of Like Being Alive
“WHY CAN’T WE BE FRIENDS? Like a Jenga tower, we’re all playing a part in a larger social structure – who’s to say smaller connections aren’t holding us together?”
– Toronto Star
Their Dignity
Toronto, Which Lost Its Dignity Years Ago, Can Give Everybody Else Lessons On Coping
“What price will Ontarians pay for Highway 413?”
– Toronto Star