I was at a march the other day and, out of the blue, a cop who was bicycling past me said, “Hi, Ira. How’s it going?” Well. This was the first time that an officer of the law called me by my name. I assume that I was supposed to be intimidated by the fact that the cops know who I am. But you know what? I’ve been going to political actions for three or four years now and, when they are held outside (as the vast majority of them are), I don’t mask up (I need to breath). I assumed that the cops had IDed me from almost the beginning, so this was just a confirmation of something I already knew.
The weird thing was that a few minutes later, a bike cop came up to me and asked me where my orange hat was. When I told him I wasn’t intimidated by the fact that he knew my name, he told me that he wasn’t the cop who had named me. (Fair enough: the first cop went past rather quickly.) He mentioned something about how I didn’t seem to taunt the police the way many protesters did, which I guess made me seem friendly. I showed him the orange wristband I was wearing, which seemed to satisfy him and he rode off.
After a while, I realized that I had just been good cop/bad copped. The first cop was supposed to intimidate me, the second was supposed to show me that he was my friend. It was a little more subtle than what you see on TV, but not by much.
Being obsessive, I’ve replayed the interactions in my mind a few times. I think that if Officer Friendly tries to engage me in conversation in the future, I will have two things to say to him.
1. Police have the power to kill people with almost limitless impunity. They shoot people. They beat people. They pepper spray people (which, to an old fart like me, can be fatal if inhaled). I don’t taunt police because I respect the power imbalance between us, and I do not trust social norms to keep police from becoming violent.
2. When I was pepper sprayed by a cop after doing exactly what the cops had told me to do, any last illusion that I may have clung to that cops in Toronto exist to serve and protect went out the window. They sure as shit aren’t there to serve and protect me. So, no, I know you’re not my friend. And now that you know that I know it, it would be for the best if you left me the ferk alone.
Anybody want to take bets on whether or not Officer Friendly will say he’s sorry that I was pepper sprayed? Or, maybe, “Hey, you hang around with bad people and bad things happen.”?
PS: It probably makes sense to assume that the police check in on my web site and social media every so often. If you do, could you please tell your officers not to waste their time trying to engage me in either a good cop or bad cop way? It’s just a waste of time all around.