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The Daily Me Staff
If The Self-serve Kiosk In The Shop Started Each Order With A CAPTCHA, Is It Certain Vance Would Pass? Like, Absolutely 100% Certain?
INT. DOUGHNUT SHOP IN ANYTOWN, USA – DAY
Republican Vice Presidential nominee JD VANCE walks up to the counter where a bored SERVER stands.
VANCE: Hello. I am not a robot.
SERVER: Okay. May I take your order?
VANCE: Yes. I am looking for especially sugary comestibles. I am told that they are abundantly available in this fine establishment.
SERVER: Umm…we serve donuts.
VANCE: Yes. I will take eleven of those.
SERVER: Donuts are usually sold by the dozen.
VANCE: I am not a robot.
SERVER: So you mentioned.
VANCE: I am, in fact, a bipedal humanoid.
SERVER: So…a dozen donuts, then?
VANCE: Yes. With dough. And nuts. And sprinkles. I am open to whatever format makes sense. Do you know who I am?
SERVER: Other than not being a robot?
VANCE: I am the Republican candidate for vice president. I’m JD Vance!
SERVER: Let me get my manager.
SOURCE: Weekends!
[http://www.nobc.com/Weekends/video/play.shtml?mea=227888]
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It’s Definitely Old
On The Other Hand, How Good It Is…
Under pressure on social media from right wing activist Robby “No I Don’t Sell Coffee, Please Stop Asking Me!” Starbuck, Harley-Davidson has dropped several diversity, equity and inclusion initiatives.
“It’s time to get rid of these policies and bring back a sense of neutrality and sanity in corporate America,” “I’m Not The Inspiration For A Character In Battlestar Galactica, Either – Can We Please Focus, Here?” Starbuck commented.
Of course, the pressure amounted to, “Woke! WOKE! WOKE! Hate it! Hate it! Hate it! Gotta stop all those people of colour, all those gays, all those people from certain religions which I will not name but you know exactly who I’m talking about, all those people whose only qualifications are that they will be better at our jobs than we are, from taking our jobs! Stop the woke train now!”
Great to see somebody advocating for good old American corporate sanity!
SOURCE: Wall Street Infernal
[http://online.wsi.com/article/0,,SB113413397491118404,11.html?mod=home_whats_new_which_u]
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Although The Position Is Mostly Ceremonial, It May Be The Most Hotly Contested In The Next Trump Administration
Robert F. Kennedy has suspended his independent campaign for president. Except for the 40 or so non-battleground states, where he is allowing his name to continue to be on the ballot. And at least two battleground states where it is too late to take his name off the ballot. He has also said that, if neither the Republican nor the Democratic candidate get a plurality of votes, this would give him a path to the presidency.
So, his actions are as clear as his motivation for dumping a dead bear cub body in Central Park, then.
In making this announcement, he also said that he would be endorsing Donald Trump for president. For his sparkling wit? Are you kidding? For his grasp of policy? Naah. Mostly because Kennedy would be given a position in Trump’s government if he were to win a second term.
I hear court jester is available.
SOURCE: Deadline News Network
[http://www.dnn.com/2024/ALLPOLITICS/08/23/reps.main/index.html]
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American Values Like Abusing The Help And Torturing Small Animals?
Mike Crispi
@MikeCrispi
Tim Walz stupid crying son isn’t the flex the left thinks it is. You raised your kid to be a puffy beta male. Congrats.
Does Barron Trump cry? Nope. Does he love his father? Of course. That’s the types of values I want leading the country.
SOURCE: Ending Trending Web Site
[http://endingtrending.blurgh/walz-me-to-the-end-of-maga/]
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Remember When Toronto Used To BE A Nice Thing?
The TTC will not be closing parts of line one at night for track maintenance, as they have for the past few weeks, in order to save tourists coming to the city for the Canadian National Exhibition the ignominy of having to leave the subway and get on a shuttle bus. Instead, the TTC will be slowing service to a crawl on parts of line one throughout the day for track maintenance, subjecting tourists coming to the city for the Canadian National Exhibition to the ignominy of longer than usual commute times.
This is why Toronto is not allowed to have nice things.
SOURCE: The Quick and the Detwiler
[http://quick&detwiler.blogspot.com/]
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Irony Had To Take A Long Lie Down, But We’re Sure It Will Return Soon
It’s Got To Return Soon
Very Soon
Meet John.
“Hello, everybody.”
John is a MAGAt Republican.
“Donald Trump has won every election since 1954.”
Was there an election in 1954, John?
“There had to have been, because Donald Trump won it.”
Ooooo-kay, then. I asked John why he supports Donald Trump for president.
“Because his economic policies are good for common working men like me.”
John is a patent lawyer.
“What, you don’t think that’s work?”
So, would Trump’s policy of tax breaks for the wealthy be a good example of his support for common working people? Or, were you thinking of his plan for putting high tariffs on goods imported from China, which will be paid for by Americans who have to spend more for Chinese goods?
“Trump has always been strong on border security.”
Excuse me for a moment while I deal with the intellectual whiplash… Oof – I always need to see my chiropractor after doing one of these interviews. Okay. Trump strong on border security. You mean by building a couple of miles of wall along the border that Mexico didn’t pay for? Or are you referring to the fact that more immigrants were deported under Biden than under Trump?
“I’m not going to argue with you about ‘facts.’ You want to know why I support Donald Trump for president? Because we had a black man as president. And now, we could have a black woman as president. And after that, the Democrats could give us a Jewish president. And then, a gay president. This is not America! When do white, Christian males get our turn to lead?”
SOURCE: Clean Slate
[http://cleanslate.com/id/2144771/]
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