The Alternate Reality News Service brings you the latest from Vesampucceri, the world’s leading idiotocracy. Is President McDruhitmumpf cribbing talking points about border security from Hollywood movies? We’ll be there! Who is the latest associate of the President to cooperate with Special Prosecutor Meullitallover, who is the next person likely to leave the McDruhitmumpf administration (who will then go on to cooperate with Prosecutor Meullitallover) and who is the latest critic of the President to become his best friend? We’ve got the latest. And, just what does the McDruhitmumpf administration have against butterflies? Come with us as we explore a moment in history that feels like a century ago even though it was only yesterday. The Alternate Reality News Service: when we break news, it stays broken!