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Headlines Wouldn’t Know a Huffledump If It Bit Them on the Unmentionables

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A Mountain Of Debt
Hmm…That Doesn’t Sound Good. Let’s Go With…An Increasingly Uninhabitable Planet
No, That’s Not Good, Either. Fascist Politics
Gaah! Donuts At McDonald’s – That’s It: Donuts
We Hope The Little Snots Enjoy Their Inheritance!


“What have we left to our children?”

Toronto Star


Gotta Pay For The Scheduled World Cup Games In Toronto Somehow!


“Caring about sharing
Bike shares are increasingly the best way to get around town. So why are we slashing millions from the budget?”

Toronto Star


She Sent Him A Tasteful Card With A Barrel Of Toxic Waste On The Front And The Message, “Get Well Soon, Love, Trixie,” Inside
She Can Be Sentimental That Way


“Has Danielle Smith thanked Trudeau for TMX pipeline?”

Toronto Star


Put Them In Enough Humiliating Situations That They Overcome Their Fear Of Embarrassment
Expect Lavish Thanks For Your Help


“How can I help friend overcome shyness?”

Toronto Star


When He Comes To An Important Decision, He Always Asks Himself WWOJD (What Would Orange Jesus Do)?


“If Maduro Loses Vote, Would He Concede?”

New York Times


It Was For Most Of Human History, But Of Course, Humanity Started With Our Generation – What Do We Know?


“Is plain water enough hydration?”

Toronto Star


He Isn’t Steady, But He Sure Is Set To Go


“Is Poilievre ready to be the next prime minister?”

Toronto Star


They Had To Adjust To Protecting A Very Indicted Person – They’ll Just Have To Adjust To Protecting A Very Incarcerated Person


“Former president, potential prisoner?
If Trump goes to jail for falsifying criminal records, what will that mean for his VIP protections?”

Toronto Star


I Would Have Thought “The American People” Would Have Been The Correct Answer
I Also Would Have Accepted “Everybody Else In The World”


“If Donald Trump is elected president again, will the biggest loser be Justin Trudeau or Pierre Poilievre?”

Toronto Star


Leventy Leven


“As floods devastate my hometown, lesson is clear
How many more tragedies will it take to convince authorities that climate crisis is happening?”

Toronto Star


Maybe, If He Is A Night Mayor Before Christmas


“Can a ‘night mayor’ restore fun to a city?”

Toronto Star


It’s Not A Binary Choice
One Way Or Another, Much Of That Beer Will End Up In Provincial Parks


“Why subsidize beer over our provincial parks?”

Toronto Star


She Promised Not To Run Against Trudeau For Liberal Party Leader


“How did May get access to secret report?”

Toronto Star


Oh. Ah. I Don’t Think It Was THAT Good, Although My Heart Did Speed Up A Lot


“Did Space-Time Speed Up After the Big Bang?”

New York Times


Shouldn’t We Wait To See How Badly It Crashes And Burns There Before We Ask?


“Could U.K. PM’s national service scheme work here?”

Toronto Star


Maybe, If It Was Scarlett Johanson’s Skin


“The scent of skin
Salty sweat, post-sex bedsheets: Would you wear a perfume that smells like skin?”

Toronto Star


The Jealous, Controlling Kind


“What kind of PM would Poilievre be?”

Toronto Star


Vlad Schlabotnik And The Frumious Five, Inc.


“Who are the people, companies shaping the GTA?”

Toronto Star


A Restraining Order Against Approaching Any Member Of The Human Race
I Thought Using Trump’s Lawyers Would Have Resulted In A Better Outcome…


“Why can’t you talk to a real human anymore?”

Toronto Star


Not If Stephen Lecce Has His Way


“Is there still time to save polar bears in Hudson Bay?”

Toronto Star


I’m Going To Go Out On A Limb, Here, And Say…Reuse Them?


“What can Ontarians do with their reusable bags?”

Toronto Star


It Succumbed To Childish Executives


“What happened to adult animation?”

Toronto Star


I Thought We Had Learned To Keep Such News On The Low Down So As Not To Attract The Attention Of Anti-vaxers


“Polio’s End Is Close. What Have We Learned?”

New York Times


Retire To A Condo In Florida


“How do I set boundaries with my adult children?”

Toronto Star


When You Drink Enough Of It, Everything Else Goes Out Of Focus


“Why is beer Ford’s focus?”

Toronto Star


Aid
Assist
Help
Reinforce


“What does ‘support’ really mean?”

Toronto Star


They Live Next Door To The Unhappy And/Or Doomed Lesbians Who Live Next Door To The Main Character


“Where are all the happy lesbians onscreen?”

Toronto Star


Not If Enough People Rail Against It


“Will high-frequency-train project derail Via Rail’s future revenue?”

Toronto Star