I Feel Seen
Sadly
“Man turning the page on collection of 3,500 books”
– Toronto Star
Sure, But “Give The Tax Thirty Paddywhacks” Doesn’t Fit Comfortably On A Sippy Cup
“Axe the tax? More like ‘Axe the Facts'”
– Toronto Star
The Self-proclaimed “Party Of Life” Would Rather See Addicts Die
“Tories, city spar over drug exemption request”
– Toronto Star
There’s A Crypto Customer Born Every Minute
“‘Crypto King’ promised huge profits to investors
Police say Whitby native charged with fraud was soliciting new victims as recently as February”
– Toronto Star
Unfortunately, That’s The Reason They Give For Not Admitting Me
“The Best College Is the One Where You Do Not Fit In”
– New York Times
It Makes Up For It With A Winning Smile
“New COVID variant has reduced infectivity”
– Toronto Star
May The Fourth Blow Up In Your Face
“Police brace for ‘fireworks wars’
– Toronto Star
Obviously, The Solution Is To Force Women To Have More Children
Well, Certain Women, In Any Case…
“Few babies mean bigger problems”
– Toronto Star
But Comparing Myself To Myself Always Returns A Null Set!
“Shift your mindset and stop comparing yourself to others”
– Toronto Star
Seems Like It Would More Appropriately Be Called An “Unwanted List”
“Zelenskyy on Russia’s wanted list”
– Toronto Star
I’ll Bet He Was Wearing A Red Shirt At The Time
“Ensign reports drop in revenue”
– Toronto Star
You Still Get The Government You Pay For
“Tax system still favours the rich”
– Toronto Star
Yeah? Well, Don’t Be Surprised If You Never Get Another Invitation To The Debutante Ball!
“We’re rich and we want higher taxes”
– Toronto Star
Fight The Power…Company
“A Strategy on Floods: Don’t Fight the Water
– New York Times
It’s Merely Antagonist Citrine Parrot!
“Surrealism Is Not Really Dead”
– Toronto Star
So…He Sulks In A Corner Whenever He Hears One?
“Loblaw profit up as boycott gets started
CEO says earnings show Canadians are ‘rewarding us with business,’ adding he takes customer complaints personally”
– Toronto Star
Movies Would Be Boring If Cops Listened To Their Superiors
Why Should Real Life Be Any Different?
“Police called off fatal chase: report
Internal file shows officers pursued suspect in oncoming traffic on Hwy. 401 despite orders to stop”
– Toronto Star
He Likes To Meet His Voters Where They Live
“Poilievre is acting like a petulant child”
– Toronto Star
LSD Use Vital To Generating New Sources Of Revenue
“Don’t let one bad trip ruin council’s need to wander”
– Toronto Star
Ncuti Gatwa Is As Good Playing The Doctor As Any Of The Other Actors Who Have Taken On The Role
“Go easy on yourself and stop the comparisons”
– Toronto Star
But We Hated To Choose Between The Two, So We Ended Up Buying An Electric Bike
“We wanted to switch to an electric car, and we wanted something fun to drive”
– Toronto Star
It Will Certainly Hamper THEIR Economic Growth
That’s Kind Of The Point
“Freeland’s capital gains tax hike ‘short sighted,’ business groups charge
Lobbyists say move will hamper economic growth”
– Toronto Star
I Know Comedy Is Going Through A Crude Phase, But The Latest Remake Of Get Smart Really Goes Too Far!
“Covered in bird poop and really loving it”
– Toronto Star
If You Believe The Tabloids, It Never Stopped
“Hollywood Embraces Sex Again”
– New York Times
1. You’ve Been Paying Attention
2. They’re Police
“Two more reasons to mistrust the police”
– Toronto Star
On The Other Hand…CON-DOS!
“Toronto the rich? You’d never know it
City of millionaires struggles to maintain infrastructure like roads, parks and transit”
– Toronto Star
Should They Be Works By Edgar Allan Poe Or Stephen King?
“Books Bound in Human Skin Pose a Quandary”
– New York Times
Parsley Oil Gave Me A Rash In My…Unmentionable Place
Sage Oil Made Me Hallucinate I Was A Little Teapot, Short And Stout
Rosemary Oil Seemed The Next Logical Thing To Try
“MAGIC ELIXIR or SNAKE OIL?
Rosemary oil is a viral hack that takes aim at thinning hair, but does it work? A dermatologist and a trichologist weigh in on the TikTok trend”
– Toronto Star
The Same Way Bubble Gum Negates Gravity
“Proportional representation negates meddling”
– Toronto Star
It Would Be Nice If The Company Bucked The Trend Of Descent Wages, But That May Just Be A Faulty Translation…
“Michelin Pledges A ‘Decent Wage'”
– New York Times