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He Could Just Get A Member Of His Secret Service To Hold Down The Shift Key For Him, But Shhh! Don’t Let Him Know That!
Donald J. Trump
@unrealDonaldTrump
NOT GUILTY! THAT’S WHAT THE VERDICT SHOULD HAVE BEEN! BUT THIS WAS THE WITCHIEST WITCH HUNT SINCE SALEM – AND I’M NOT TALKING ABOUT THE CIGARETTES! ALL PROSECUTORS THROUGHOUT THE WORLD – AND IN FRANCE – AGREE THAT THIS TRAIL WAS A HOAX!!! ELECTION INTERFERENCE!!!!! I’M GOIng to appeal the hell out of this all the way to the – hey, what happened to my caps lock? give me back my caps lock!!! caps lock! caps lock! caps lock! first they rigged the court case, now they’ve rigged my phone!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
SOURCE: Ending Trending Web Site
[http://endingtrending.blurgh/a-capital-suggestion/]
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So, It Worked Out About As Well As Any Modern Tory Program Has…
When he announced that high school students in Ontario would be required to pass a financial literacy test in order to graduate, provincial Education Minister Stephen Lecce argued that it was necessary in order to help them contribute to the economy. How has – oh, and to manage their lives It was necessary for that, too. Okay. How has that worked out?
Students at Colonizer Junior High School in Toronto have taken control of the building and renamed it Karl Marx High School. “For too long, bourgeois interests have controlled the means of intellectual production, filling students’ heads with false consciousness,” said Bobby, a grade eight student. “No more! We reject transnational corporate capitalism! We reject the growing income gap between the one per cent and the rest of us! The Communist revolution begins with remaking the education system! Freeeeeeeedooooooooom!”
“I…may have to rethink this policy,” Minister Lecce allowed.
SOURCE: Ottawa Stunned
[http://www.canoodle.com/NewsStand/OttawaStunned/News/2024/5/28/509727.html]
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And The 20th Time Is Just A Lucky Fluke
A recent Abacab Data poll found that 21 per cent of Canadians believed a world war would “probably” break out in the next five to 10 years while nine per cent said it “definitely” would. This was a contrast to the three per cent of the population that believed that World War III had already happened and we were living in a hellscape in the aftermath.
When asked who they thought Canada would be fighting against if it came to a new world war, 48 per cent chose Narnia while 26 per cent said Erewhon. Another nine per cent selected The Dreaming, nine per cent said 224B Baker Street and eight per cent said Mars.
One thing a strong majority of respondents to the poll agreed upon was that opt-in polls are 89 per cent unreliable as a source of information 19 times out of 20.
SOURCE: Glob and Maul
[http://www.globandmaul.com/servlet/story/RTGAM.20240601.eladvote0102_@/BNStory/newsOops2024/]
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The Stepford Politicians Know Which Side Their Vice Presidential Aspirations Are Buttered On
Responding to being found guilty on all 34 counts of falsifying business records, former president Donald Trump said: “This is all done by Biden and his people… This is the crime that I committed that I’m supposed to go to jail for 187 years for when you have violent crime all over this city at levels that nobody’s ever seen before… This is about a federal election, not a state election. You’re not even allowed to look at it. They took the state and the city and they went into a federal election. They’re not allowed.”
Speaker of the House Mike Johnson immediately defended the former president: “This is all done by Biden and his people… This is the crime that Trump committed that he’s supposed to go to jail for 187 years for when you have violent crime all over this city at levels that nobody’s ever seen before.”
Hmm. Where have I heard that before? Jim Jordan, Chair of the Weaponization of Government Committee of the House of Representatives also defended Trump: “This is all done by Biden and his people… This is about a federal election, not a state election. You’re not even allowed to look at it. They took the state and the city and they went into a federal election. They’re not allowed.”
Is it just me, or is this starting to sound really familiar? Senator J. D. Vance also voiced his support for Trump: “This is the crime that Trump committed that he’s supposed to go to jail for 187 years for when you have violent crime all over this city at levels that nobody’s ever seen before… This is about a federal election, not a state election. You’re not even allowed to look at it. They took the state and the city and they went into a federal election. They’re not allowed.”
No, seriously, is there an echo in this article?
SOURCE: Disassociated Press
[http://www.bltdaily.com/]
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Does It Bug Liberals? Then, It’s A Feature
Although he has come out in opposition to most Liberal environmental initiatives, Conservative leader Pierre Poilievre has remained silent on whether his party supports a national requirement for industrial carbon pricing.
Now, whenever he appears in public, a little blue circle revolves above his head. At first, he tried swatting it away, but his hand went right through it. Then, he tried covering it with a very tall hat; not only did the circle rise above the hat, but it had the effect of making Poilievre look like a chipmunk mad hatter.
Currently, Poilievre travels with a small digital projector that can overlay the Conservative Party logo over the revolving blue circle. Some critics have dubbed this, “The spinning wheel of Conservative death.” Poilievre has argued that keeping businesses in suspense about what he will do about industrial carbon pricing is a feature of his platform, not a bug.
But that’s what all bad programmers say, isn’t it?
SOURCE: The National Whipping Post
[http://www.canada.com/national/nationalwhippingpost/news/story.html?ia=0ec0ecda-b6e6-4c28-bf9b-07b831cc42ec]
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And Thanks To His Policies On Cheap Beer, That Gut Will Only Grow More Prominent In Policy Debates
The federal government has rejected science and decided not to back Toronto’s proposal to decriminalize drug possession for personal use. “Science is not going to protect public health and, in any case, science lacks provincial support,” the government’s response read.
“Damn straight we reject science!” said Ontario Premier Doug Ford. “My gut tells me that if we legalize drug possession, weed-mad addicts will roam the streets randomly punching innocent citizens and demanding that they be allowed to pitch tents in potholes in the streets! Science? Fooey! I didn’t get where I am today by ignoring my gut!”
SOURCE: The Irrational
[http://www.mc.ca/stories/2024/06/03/whathasscienceeverdoneforanybody040603]
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