And Speaking Of Wasting Years In College Getting A Completely Useless Education, What Have YOU Done With Your Law Degree Lately?
Okay, to be fair, we do not know if deplorables hate your dog. They may kick at it as a sign of affection; different people connect with pets in different ways. When they snarl, “Get that mutt out of my face!” they may just be trying to get a better look at it as a gestalt; licketyfacedness is, after all, only one aspect of a whole dog.
Deplorables aren’t coy about what they hate. Ted Cruz, for example, hates young people. Who make coffee. (Apparently, he likes his coffee the way he likes his worldview: deeply black and acidic.) And what’s with the “slacker” who can’t “get off the bong for a minute?” It’s like his understanding of today’s youth came from a Cheech and Chong movie!
Hee hee. Funny thing about that. You know how Cruz thought it was hip, daddyio, to dance the frug all over the ambitions of young people? Well, his disdain drove those young people to turn out to vote in record numbers in the mid-term elections, much to the detriment of a great many candidates of his party.
Hate motivates people in surprising ways.
“Wrote” As In “Signed The Check For The Person Who Actually Wrote”
I have no idea if Senator Marco Rubio has a dog, but, if he does, it’s probably a rottweiler. If you have a shar pei, he probably doesn’t hate your dog; why would somebody hate pet food? If you have a German shepherd, well, we could have a problem. (If you have a German shempherd, you are undoubtedly reading the wrong web site.)
According to Rubio, all those students whining about the debt they had to take on to get their degrees shouldn’t be offered a lifeline by the federal government. They should become Senators. Then, they should use $20,000 they raised from their campaign to hire a ghost writer to write a book they can put their name on. Then, they should parlay their conservative connections to sell enough copies of the book to be able to pay off their student loans.
Honestly, if kids today just took some initiative, there would be no student debt problem!
And what is it about Republicans slam dancing (Rubio isn’t quite as old as Cruz) all over the ambitions of young people? Did they have unhappy young adulthoods and want to make sure the next generation has the same experience? If so, do they think adversity brings out character? Have they looked in the mirror, lately?
When The Party Of Law And Order Orders That Its Party Be The Law…
If he hadn’t been a real estate mogul turned politician, Donald Trump could have had a career as a ventriloquist. There are so many dummies in the Basket of Deplorables to choose from! Of course, in the world of politics, they are known as “surrogates,” but most are sufficiently wooden and glassy-eyed they would put Charlie McCarthy to shame.
Senator Lindsey Graham, for example, is the attack poodle of the MAGA Republicans. He yips. He yaps. He nips at your ankles in an aggressive way that is painful…to watch. You would be tempted to pat him comfortingly on the head if you weren’t afraid having rabies is responsible for many of the deplorable things he says.
He spreads Trump talking points wherever there is anybody who will listen. Try hearing his statement in the former President’s voice – it’s uncanny, isn’t it? Unlike most ventriloquists, distance doesn’t weaken the effect; if anything, the further away from the former President they appear, the stronger the surrogummies’ messages.
As for the poorly veiled threat in the statement, well, how seriously could it be taken? It’s not like Graham set a date or anything. Considering how much he appears to hate the justice system, in the Basket of Deplorables this counts as admirable restraint!
As it happens, the average deplorable does hate a lot of things, so your dog may well be one of them. I’d keep it on a leash if I were you. And remember to scratch the deplorable behind the ears – they really seem to enjoy that.