When oak trees are extinct, will they lose their usefulness as a metaphor for strength?
Can fully clothed beautiful people be guilty of indecent underexposure?
Why does everything sound sexier in French? Why does anything sound sexier in French?
If you play a steel guitar long enough, does it become a stolen guitar?
What, exactly, do elephants have that’s so important to remember?
If virtue is its own reward, how come you can’t trade it in at your local Lexus dealership?
If a madman thinks he’s another madman, does that make him sane?
Why are so many successful Canadian female singers named Sarah?
How could Colin Powell say that “not one [of the 19 members] was opposed to a NATO role in Iraq” when it’s well known that the organization is generally opposed to involving itself in events outside of Europe and is specifically divided about a role in Iraq. And, while I’m on the subject, why is Powell calling for American retaliation against France for its threat to veto a second resolution on Iraq in the UN Security Council when he knows full well that the US didn’t have anywhere near the votes needed to pass the resolution, making France’s threatened veto irrelevant?
Didn’t Powell used to have some integrity?
In what universe are people actually motivated to buy a product because the manufacturer’s Web site has a spiffy new graphic design?
Is there a heart so cold that its owner could ignore an obituary with the headline: “The duke of hernia surgery?”
Scotland didn’t join the war on Iraq – how come nobody talks about “freedom tape?”
Don’t the members of Radiohead know that we live in the television age?
When will all those pundits who complained that a low Canadian dollar was hurting consumers stop complaining that a high Canadian dollar is hurting Canadian exporters? In fact, when will everybody stop trying to find meaning in the dollar’s value when it has been clear for a long time that currency markets are even more of a casino than stock markets?
Do Americans expect British pop band Black Box Recorder to change the name of one of their songs to “Freedom Rock ‘N’ Roll?”
If Alan Greenspan dies, will the American economy disappear? Isn’t this a lot of power for somebody who whose entire job essentially consists of controlling a single number?
It wasn’t hard to imagine a breath mint for dogs, but did somebody actually have to go and invent it?
Is there such a thing as “extreme ordinariness?” Where can I buy some?
Is a woman who refuses to have sex with a man whose hair is short in the front and long in the back looking for a mulletproof bonk?
“I like…making fun of poor people…and the people who represent their interests…I like…kissing the ass of power…I like…kicking the ass of the Toronto Star and all those other Commie bastards…” Come on, Christie, in those National Post ads, why don’t you tell us how you really feel?
What would somebody who said, “I’m so hungry, I could eat a horse,” do if they were actually served a horse?
Remember when the phrase “I’m gonna call that woman up” didn’t involve pictures on the Internet? Speaking of which, would an offshore porn site feature Tuvular belles?
Nu Where are those Iraqi weapons of mass destruction we’ve heard so much about, already? Maybe Saddam Hussein should be quoting the warranty to get faulty parts replaced by the American companies that supplied them to him? Or…could it be that the President lied when he said making the world safe from weapons of mass destruction was the primary reason for going to war against Iraq? Is this a model of democracy the Middle East really should be eager to emulate?
Explain to me, again, why, if I can find all the music I want to listen to for free on the Internet, I would agree to pay a dollar a song at Apple’s online iTune Music Store, no matter how fabulous it is? Oh, really? And, what kind of society criminalizes the behaviour of a substantial number of eight to 15 year-olds?
Will the heat sensors to be installed in Canadian airports to detect international travelers with high fevers, a symptom of SARS, also capture the flush of sexual attraction? To forestall the possibility of false positives, should airlines only employ – ahem – the attractiveness challenged?
I want to know. Don’t you?