No Public Figure Too Big,
No Personal Foible Too Small
Contents

I. ARE YOU SMART ENOUGH TO READ THIS BOOK? TAKE THIS SIMPLE TEST...

1. What the Heck Do You Know? A New Beginning
2. What the Heck Do You Know? Another New Beginning
3. What the Heck Do You Know? A New New Beginning
4. What the Heck Do You Know? A New Beginning Continues…
5. What the Heck Do You Know? How Green Was My New Beginning?
6. What the Heck Do You Know? New Beginnings For Beginners
7. What the Heck Do You Know? A New Beginning vs. Jason
8. What the Heck Do You Know? A New Beginning Is So 1973
9. What the Heck Do You Know? The Beginning of the End for New Beginnings
10. What the Heck Do You Know? You Go, New Beginnings! You Go, Girl!
11. What the Heck Do You Know? A New Beginning Gains Three Quarters of a Point In Light Trading
12. What the Heck Do You Know? A New Beginning Would Like To Get To Know You A Little Better

II. HOW DO WE LEARN? BY ASKING QUESTIONS...

1. My Toronto Frequently Unasked Questions
2. Les Pages aux Folles Frequently Unasked Questions 11
3. Frequently Unasked Questions: It’s a Terrorism RAID, Baby!
4. The Abramov Scandal Frequently Unasked Questions
5. Afghanistan War Frequently Unasked Questions
6. Two Tier Health Care Frequently Unasked Questions
7. My Toronto Frequently Unasked Questions, V2
8. Les Pages aux Folles Frequently Unasked Questions 12

III. EXPECT SOME COMPLICATIONS...

1. Take Cover, Girl!
2. Common Sense Meets The Common Moron
3. Conversations Overheard in a Mall Food Court
4. Spam A Lot?
5. Politics Made Simplistic: Book 3: When Disaster Strikes
6. Conversations Overheard On I10 Out Of Houston
7. Duck and Cover Stories
8. The American Blowback Management Algorithm
9. Rhetoric Alert! Rhetoric Alert! Code Orange! Scramble the Journalists! Go! Go! Go!
10. Never To Wreak Cover
11. The Bush Administration’s Crisis Management Algorithm
12. The Tao of the Betty Boop Slots
13. Too Much To Cover
14. That Scrambled Locpyi Game
15. Are You Sure You Want To Know?
16. Some People Will Always Just Don’t Get It
17. Where In The World Is American Supported Democracy?

IV. THE UNITED STATES AND THE POLITICS OF FEAR

1. It Takes Inaugural Balls
2. Nothing To Fear But Life Itself
3. There’s A Soldier Born Every Minute
4. When Wars Collide
5. DNSR: Katrina Makes Waves
6. Oh, K!
7. A Very Bad Day…Month…Year…
8. When The Going Gets Surreal, The Surrealists Turn Pro
9. Scorched Earth Diplomacy Becomes The International Bitch Slap
10. Loose Gannon
11. The Powitics of Pewsonaw Destwuction
12. Understanding American Politics
13. Let Us Make Blundflorts

V. TAKE A BREAK WITH ONE OF YOUR MANY ENTERTAINMENT OPTIONS

1. Big Dick Makes Waves
2. Vacationing in the New Millennium
3. Blog Blah Blah
4. Larry and Bud Calculate the Gross Outs
5. Big Dick Radio Contends With Blond Ambition
6. What is Culture in 2005?
7. Larry and Bud Are Remade
8. Working for Big DICK Radio Is Its Own Reward
9. Vacationing in the New Millennium - Director’s Cut Edition
10. Thirty-one Reasons To Believe The Technology In Your Life Is Out of Control
11. But, I Still Won’t Do Standup
12. Big Dick Radio Is Busted
13. Touching the Magic
14. As You Don't Like It
15. Promises, Promises
16. Three Working Girls Talking
17. Big Dick Radio Takes to the Air
18. The Devil, You Know

VI. CANADA AND THE POLITICS OF WEIRD

1. What the Heck do You Know About The Gomery Enquiry?
2. Outrage Fatigue
3. Campaign Trail Mix
4. The Copy Cat Campaign
5. Shaniqua Done Tol You
6. Mild at Heart
7. Not Covered In The Manual
8. Love’s Labours Misplaced
9. Fatwa Chance!
10. Stephen Harper’s Struggles
11. Bad Medicine
12. Indifference Is Hard Work

VII. MONEY STALKS

1. Money is the Drug
2. Oh, Canadian!
3. A Right Royal Pain
4. Your Economic Base Are Unsafe
5. The Call Centre Cannot Hold
6. The Food Porn Money Shot
7. You Can’t Be Too Careful
8. Get Em While They’re Lukewarm
9. Your Physical Health, My Financial Health – Is There a Problem?

VIII. CAN YOU FIND A THEME TO THIS CHAPTER? BECAUSE I CERTAINLY CAN'T!

1. Who’s Afraid of Virginia Woof?
2. Reality Free Political Commentary
3. Danger on the Daddy Track
4. Hangin’ With the Illiterati
5. Cardinal Ratzinger, Vatican Enforcer
6. Get Down Wit’ Yo Bad Newsy Self
7. Remembrance of Trash Past
8. Hope Over Reason
9. The Trouble With Reality
10. People You Love To Hate
11. De-con-struct(ur)ing Academ(ed)ia

IX. DID YOU LEARN ANYTHING FROM THIS BOOK? TAKE THIS SIMPLE TEST...

1. What the Heck Do You Know? The Hills Are Alive With the Sound of a New Beginning
2. What the Heck Do You Know? Nothing to Fear but A New Beginning Itself
3. What the Heck Do You Know? Slave to the A New Beginning
4. What the Heck Do You Know? A New Beginning For New Orleans
5. What the Heck Do You Know? A New Begi – Ack!
6. What the Heck Do You Know? A New Beginning Isn’t Crazy About Your Hair, Either
7. What the Heck Do You Know? A New Beginning Drinks Deep From the Cup of Human Kindness
8. What the Heck Do You Know? A New Beginning Gets Old
9. What the Heck Do You Know? Can Look After Itself, Thank You Very Much
10. No, What The Heck Do You Know? Does Not Believe That Dress Makes You Look Fat
11. Don’t Look At What the Heck Do You Know? – It Didn’t Send Your Children To Afghanistan!
12. What the Heck Do You Know? Regrets Its Youthful Indiscretions
13. What the Heck Do You Know? Special Heckle and Jeckle Edition

X. ABOUT THE AUTHOR

1. What Doesn’t Kill Us
2. Banff Bumpf
3. Things Gone Unsaid
4. Or Diet Trying
5. Fade To Black
6. My Imaginary Manhattan