Why is it that when somebody does something mind-bogglingly dumb, we slap our foreheads with our palms? Wouldn’t common sense suggest that we slap their foreheads (or other body part, depending upon the severity of the nonsense)? These days, common sense appears to be in short supply.
There is a simple reason for this: at every point at which common sense threatens to reveal itself, it is confronted by a common moron ready to assert his or her foolishness and, if necessary, give common sense a horrifying beat-down. It’s the common moron who, when you do not appreciate the wisdom of his or her folly, encourages you to slap yourself in the forehead. The harder the better.
Below, I offer a number of examples of the clash between Common Sense and the Common Moron to show just how difficult it is for common sense to assert itself in today’s world.
Common Sense suggests that if you divide a region into countries containing a variety of ethnic groups that don’t get along, they won’t get along. The Common Moron says that’s fine; if they’re fighting among themselves, they won’t be fighting with you. Common Sense disagrees, arguing that sooner or later some of them will blame you for causing their problems and attack you. The Common Moron sticks its fingers in its ears and chants, “Root causes! Root causes!” until it reaches a state of satori or, more likely, passes out from oxygen deprivation.
Common Sense suggests that if you export high paying jobs to low wage countries, throwing many of your people into poverty and/or forcing them into low wage jobs, there will be fewer people to buy your expensive products. The Common Moron asks what you’ve got against corporations making a profit – you some kind of Commie or something? When Common Sense points to his falling apart sneakers and rusting out car, the Common Moron defensively responds that he’s just going through a rough spot right now and soon his ship will come in and he’ll be able to afford those Air Jordans and a Camaro and…and you’re a bastard for making this personal.
Common Sense suggests that if you bomb a country, its citizens will not shower your troops with roses and welcome your tanks. The Common Moron says support our troops your ignorant America-hater. Common Sense tries to argue that not putting them in harm’s way for no good reason is supporting the troops, but the Common Moron is already signing Common Sense up for recruitment literature.
Common Sense suggests that if you continue to use a finite, non-renewable resource, it will run out. The Common Moron says it’s its god-given right as an American to drive a vehicle that uses more fuel than an entire division of soldiers in World War II. When Common Sense tries to engage in a discussion of renewable energy sources, the Common Moron drives over its house with its SUV. As always, this quickly ends the debate.
Common Sense suggests that the scientific method is not the proper way to resolve matters of faith. The Common Moron believes that Intelligent Design is a good way to reconcile faith and science. Common Sense suggests that the Common Moron watch more Nova, but its too busy watching The O’Reilly Factor to be bothered.
Common Sense suggests that to govern, you have to believe in government. The Common Moron votes for neo-con politicians anyway. Common Sense tut tuts at the Common Moron’s inability to see its own best interests. The Common Moron sucker punches Common Sense in the kidneys and steals its wallet when it’s lying on the ground, writhing in pain. Common Sense doesn’t carry much cash, so the Common Moron maxes out its credit cards.
Common Sense suggests that you cannot fill the atmosphere with chemical compounds without having it affect what happens in the atmosphere (commonly referred to as “weather”). The Common Moron says it’s its god-given right as an American to drive a vehicle that uses more fuel than an entire division of soldiers in World War II. I think you know where this is going…
I could go on, but Common Sense suggests that I not overstate my case. No, there’s no point in insisting; if you do, I will just stick my fingers in my ears and chant, “Common Sense! Common Sense!” until I reach a state of satori or, more likely, pass out from oxygen deprivation.