“Oww!”
“Stop struggling, and it will hurt less.”
“Let me go, and I’ll stop struggling.”
“I’m sorry, sir, but we can’t do that.”
“Look, I don’t know what’s going on, but I have to tell you that I don’t have a lot of money, so kidnapping me isn’t –”
“Oh, you haven’t been kidnapped, sir.”
“No?”
“This is an extraordinary detention.”
“What’s the difference between an extraordinary detention and a kidnapping?”
“Any old scum can kidnap somebody. Only a police officer or member of one of the country’s intelligence agencies can conduct an extraordinary detention.”
“So, I’m being arrested?”
“No, sir. You’re being detained.”
“Extraordinarily.”
“Exactly.”
“Don’t you have to read me my rights when you arrest me?”
“Absolutely.”
“Then, what are my rights?”
“I don’t have to tell you that.”
“But –”
“You see, you haven’t been arrested, sir.”
“No?”
“You have been extraordinarily detained.”
“But – okay. Okay. What are you charging me with?”
“I’m sorry, sir, but I am not at liberty to say what you are being charged with.”
“What are you talking about? You have to charge a person when you arrest him.”
“Yes, but you haven’t been arrested, sir.”
“No?”
“You have been extraordinarily detained.”
“Incredible.”
“No, sir. Just extraordinary.”
“Look. When you arrest a person, you have to tell them who has accused them of wrongdoing. I mean, the ability to face your accuser is one of the foundations of our justice system, right?”
“Absolutely correct, sir.”
“So, who has made accusations against me?”
“I’m sorry, sir, but I am not allowed to give you that information.”
“Why can’t you tell me who was responsible for getting me arrested?”
“Because you haven’t been arrested, sir.”
“No?”
“You have been extraordinarily detained.”
“Ah, well, when can I speak to my lawyer?”
“I will inform you when the time comes.”
“But, it has to be soon, right?”
“Not necessarily, sir.”
“Because an accused has a right to timely proper representation so that his trial can be as fair as possible, right?”
“Well…ordinarily, of course, you would be correct. You would be given one call and be allowed to contact a lawyer soon after your arrest.”
“Ah, but I haven’t been arrested.”
“No?”
“I have been extraordinarily detained.”
“I’m glad to see that you are adjusting to your new circumstances, sir.”
“So, when do I get to call my wife?”
“Ah. Perhaps I was a tad premature in my assessment.”
“I can’t call my wife?”
“I’m afraid not, sir.”
“My children?”
“No.”
“Boss?”
“Sorry.”
“Mistress.”
“Are you sure you would want to do that?”
“Would you let me?”
“Well, no, sir. But, in that case, I think I would be saving you from yourself.”
“Nobody will know where I am?”
“The government will know where you are at all times, sir.”
“Why am I not comforted by that idea?”
“We live in cynical times.”
“How can you do this? There is nothing in the law that states a man can be held in secret after he has been arrested.”
“That may be, but you haven’t been arrested, sir.”
“No?”
“You have been extraordinarily detained.”
“Erm. Where are you taking me?”
“Are you sure you want to continue asking questions, sir?”
“I’ll admit, the answers are more than a little depressing. Still –”
“Has it not occurred to you that asking questions might be the reason you’re here?”
“Is asking questions the reason why I’m here?”
“I’m sorry, sir, but I cannot answer that.”
“Good lord, can a man be arrested for asking questions, now?”
“Of course not, sir.”
“Thank goodness for that!”
“It’s just that you haven’t been arrest –”
“Right. Gotcha. So, where are you taking me?”
“I’m afraid I can’t tell you that, sir.”
“Am I still in the country?”
“I’m afraid I can’t tell you that, sir.”
“Am I still on the planet?”
“I’m afraid I can’t tell you that, sir.”
“This…is serious.”
“Are you just beginning to realize that now, sir?”
“So, how exactly is extraordinary detention different from a kidnapping?”
“I’m afraid I can’t tell you that, sir.”
“Oh, for – you know, a lot of strange things happen in life, but I thought I lived in a civilized country. I never imagined that something like this could happen in El Salvador!”