It’s taken me years, but I think I finally understand American politics. George W. Bush, President of the United States and leader of the free world, is Dick Cheney’s bitch. And, Dick Cheney, Vice President of the United States and one of the most powerful men in the world, is insane.
Think about the iconic image of Bush landing a fighter plane on the deck of a destroyer. You ever had one of those joysticks between your legs? Come on – why do you think they call them joysticks? And, I’m not even talking about the plane or the ship as the ultimate phallic symbol.
And, that flight suit! Bush probably thought it made him look butch. I thought it made him look like a member of The Village People. Seriously. When he started talking under the “Mission Accomplished” banner, I expected him to break out into a rendition of “YMCA,” with the whole navy as his chorus.
Now, I know this may seem a little farfetched. But, it’s a well known fact that men who project an exaggerated form of masculinity are compensating for their fears that they aren’t sufficiently macho, that they are, in fact, homos in denial.
I’m telling you, George W. Bush is Dick Cheney’s bitch.
Take reports of abuse at America’s prisons abroad. Objects being shoved up men’s rectums. Men getting peed on. Naked men forming pyramids. It’s pure S&M sex play, a Robert Mapplethorpe wet dream. The Pentagon must be reporting on its methods to the White House. Ask yourself: if he wasn’t getting something out of those reports, wouldn’t Bush have stopped the torture months ago?
Bush’s Presidency is about the search for fathers. His own father failed him (letting Saddam Hussein live, not winning a second term, and so on, and so on); Bush needed a different role model. One who glares. One who scowls. One who, when asked to find the best man for a job, has the confidence to flip all of the candidates the bird and choose himself.
Are you beginning to see? Bush is Dick Cheney’s bitch. And, Cheney is insane.
Cheney is a serial liar. He repeatedly touted weapons of mass destruction as the reason for invading Iraq when the CIA and United Nations weapons inspectors kept telling the White House they didn’t exist. He repeatedly connected Saddam Hussein to 9/11 when all the credible evidence suggested that there was no connection.
When does lying become pathological? When you order an underling to reveal the identity of a CIA agent, then deny to anybody who will listen that you had anything to do with it?
Cheney is paranoid. Why do you think he disappears for weeks at a time? He knows they’re out to get him. Who are they? The Liberal Media. Liberal voters. Does it really matter? As long as he keeps moving, he makes a difficult target.
This would be bad enough in a normal person, but Cheney is the second in command of the government with the greatest military in the world. Why did he repeatedly argue for sending it into Iraq, knowing full well that the weapons of mass destruction rationale was bogus? Did the United States want control of an important oil resource? Not according to Cheney. Did the US want to exert its will abroad, in accordance with the urgings of the Project for the New American Century? Not according to Cheney.
Other than a disturbing personal propensity towards violence, what rationale is left for the invasion of Iraq?
I know it’s hard to believe. Believe me, I didn’t want to believe it, either. Then, Cheney goes and shoots Harry Whittington while quail hunting. Shoots him in the face. And, Whittington was a friend of his! If Cheney is willing to shoot his friends in the face, what chance do you or I have!
He is paranoid, a pathological liar and addicted to violence. In short, Vice President Dick Cheney is insane. Not all there. A complete nutter. More than a few votes short of a majority.
Of course, it may just be that President Bush is an ideologically-driven simpleton and Cheney is an arrogant, power-hungry asshole. However, the White House quickly denies even the slightest hint that this might be an accurate description of either of the men. So, the only reasonable conclusion one can come to is that George Bush is Dick Cheney’s bitch, and that Dick Cheney is insane.
It explains everything.