Meet the new Hugo Boss, same as the old Hugo Boss…
Is anything more marginalized than Marxist musings and mumbo jumbo?
As anybody who has ever had phone sex can attest, talk is not cheap, even with a good rate plan…
When it comes to the sexuality of others, I say: Each to his own heavin’…
I prefer to watch the star czar from afar…
Fortunately, I have a high tolerance for non-sequiturs…
The bag lady loves my hat…
You go with the satirist you have, not with the satirist you wish you had…
I can deny it no longer: I am the anti-Rice!
Are those who make money by conducting seances discorporate capitalists?
When my Web page dies, I plan to go out streaming…
If it’s any consolation, I don’t know what the capital of Mauritius is, either…
Let’s get this showboat on the road!
The sitar playing satyr loves satire…
It isn’t what you think…and…and, even if it is, it isn’t…
We’re the deli that sells vicious knishes and Kafka’s latkes…
IMac, therefore I am…
I know some dads are tough, but Mork’s dad told him: It’s the Milky Way or the highway…
Professional quality writing at wholesale prices…
Let’s face it: Gallagher never had a Clu…
Dazed, fazed and in a crazy haze on Information Highways…
When it comes to relationships, good sex is more important than bad art…
Interactive TV? Don’t be silly. The television will not be revolutionized…
It’s not just satire, it’s Ira Nay – no, wait, it is just satire…
Yes, hard as it may be to believe, people lie under oath…
Aqua Velveeta: the after shave you can spread on your toast…
The abyss is not in at the moment, but if you would like to leave your name, number and a brief message outlining the status of your existential crisis, it will stare back at you shortly.
Note: no interns were harmed in the making of this Web site. Well, not so’s you’d notice, anyway…
Ellipses are for squares…
Consensus reality would be okay if…it didn’t develop out of the consciousness of so many morons…
What goes on in Les Pages aux Folles stays in Les Pages aux Folles…unfortunately…
Cooler heads shall be derailed…
How can you throw the money lenders out of the temple when the marketplace has become the temple?
Seethe the day…
Sic transit Gloria? Last time I saw her, Gloria looked fine…
You don’t have to be religious to know that Shemp was not a biblical character or that Sheba was not a naughty song by Cyndi Lauper…
The “Not Ice” notice is not nice…
Zombies never expect the toothpick…
You think they’d tell you? Seriously?
Speak Your Cat’s Language, Lesson One: “meow” means hello, goodbye and peace…
The mean-looking Congressman who always got his legislation passed had the ways and miens…
I got De La Soul, but I’m not a soldier…
You’re looking to me for wisdom? The world must be in worse shape than I thought…
Speak Your Cat’s Language, Lesson Two: “meow” means yeah, I peed in your shoe – whaddya gonna do about it?
Regulation: no longer just about your bowel movements…
Is Scientology a diffi-cult?
“Keaton always said: ‘I don’t believe in god, but I’m afraid of him.’ Well, I believe in god, and the only thing that scares me is Barbara Bush…”
Writing comedy is hard for the first 17 years; after that, it’s only modestly difficult…
No, your nose hairs won’t make lovely baby booties…or, for that matter, even wearable ones…
As my great-great-great-great-great uncle Cornelius Vanderbilt Nayman III used to say: “You can’t eat ideology…”
They called the band Nickelback because if you didn’t like the album, they’d only give you one…
Indecent cement for rent after Lent…
Speak Your Cat’s Language, Lesson Three: “meow” means aww, gimme a break, will ya? I’ve only been napping for three hours…!
Four more former foreign farmers fomenting ferocious farragoes…
I’m so ahead of the curve, I’m straight again! Atlas Stepped Out For a Latte
Son of a birch!
I’ve always been a fan of Franco, the Pretty Darn Good Lemieux…
Okay, that pile of laundry isn’t going to sort itself, but can you blame a guy for hoping…?
Absent abs? No specs on your pecs? Join a club…
You don’t have to like the bird to accept that it’s his tern…
