Where In the World Is American Supported Democracy? The United States

Aah, the United States, the greatest democracy the world has ever known. You would expect to find democracy here with ease, if only to save the country the embarrassment of not practicing what it preaches. Well, we’re just playing here, so let’s not worry about red faces as we look for democracy on the home front.

 

Money talks, democracy walks. Ever wonder why your life doesn’t seem to be getting better, no matter who you elect? The only time a politician in Washington refers to “the will of the people” is to see if the people left him any cash. A movie star wanted to be Governor, but had no political experience. What to do? If you live in California, wait until a disgruntled billionaire pays for a recall vote of the sitting Governor, then elbow him out of the way. December, 1999: confusing ballots, intimidation of minority voters, illegal purging of voters lists, thugs storming buildings where recounts were taking place and, when all else fails, get your brother and his cronies to put things right. Is Florida strong on democracy? Is Carl Hiassen a rapid development supporter? December, 2003: intimidation of minority voters, polls registering more votes than there were registered voters, too few voting machines causing long lineups in minority neighbourhoods - is Ohio the new Florida? The Attorney General of Texas didn’t pass exculpatory evidence that might have kept innocent men from the death chamber on to the Governor. Gonsalez is now AG of the entire country and Dubya is the President. Due process? Isn’t that quaint. Have you ever heard of the School of the Americas, kids? Oh, it’s got a new name now, but in its heyday it trained some of the worst human rights abusers in the hemisphere. Still think Georgia’s peachy? You’re a rabid Republican supporter - how do you ensure your candidate wins? Create a company that makes electronic voting machines, make sure there is no access to the code (copyright secret, you know) and, best of all, no paper trail to verify the votes you claim (wink, wink) were cast. Fiction? In Maryland, we say: do or Diebold! Did I mention that electronic voting machines from two companies, one of which was Diebold, were used in 36 states with 80% of the country’s population? Fine, freedom-loving, democracy-supporting states like Colorado? Nope. Counties in North Carolina have Diebold machines, too. Sorry. Counties in Nebraska also have Diebold voting machines. Ha ha. You know what we said about states with counties that used Diebold machines? Well, that applies to Tennessee, too. Okay, maybe this Diebold state thing isn’t that funny. Especially if you live in Virginia. Yes, Kentucky is a Diebold state, too. Maybe we should have asked you to find states that didn’t have Diebold machines in them. Okay, okay, Indiana is a Diebold state, too. You know what? This is too depressing, and we’re only a quarter of the way through the list of states that have electronic voting machines. Let’s just forget it, okay?