Business, As Usual Frequently Unasked Questions
1. After being sentenced, how could Martha Stewart tell Barbara Walters that even good people go to prison - like Nelson Mandela?
2. Pilgrim's Pride Corporation is planning to stop animal abuse at its poultry plants after a video showed workers stomping and kicking live chickens at a West Virginia plant. How should it have handled the problem?
3. Why is Wal-Mart pursuing a Charter of Rights and Freedoms suit in Canada?
4. Why is Quebecor World in trouble with the United States National Labour Relations Board?
5. The US Environmental Protection Agency is charging that DuPont has covered up the ill effects of a chemical in its Teflon products for decades. What do you think of this?
6. What do you think of Canada's latest victory at the World Trade Organization in its ongoing lumber trade dispute with the US?
7. Seriously.
8. But, don't you care that this means that the US will have to stop levying unfair duties on Canadian lumber, and will have to pay back the unfair duties that it has already collected?
9. Did Ted Turner, founder of CNN and Time Warner board member, really write that media corporations have grown too large and powerful and need to be broken up?
10. Have you ever noticed that those who champion the selling off of iconic Canadian companies to Americans are the same people who claim that Canada isn't a real country because we have no historical institutions?
11. Sure. What do you think about people who champion the selling off of iconic Canadian companies?
12. If Canadians are so upset The Bay may be sold to an American company, then why is there no Canadian willing to buy it?
13. You really like to take cheap shots, don't you?
1. After being sentenced, how could Martha Stewart tell Barbara Walters that even good people go to prison - like Nelson Mandela?
Sleazy CEOs and corrupt stock traders throughout the land rejoice! Martha Stewart is trying to convince people that the charge of "insider trading" is a form of political persecution rather than a crime. Kenneth Lay shall overcome! (I suspect too much television exposure has warped Martha's sense of what "a good thing" is.)
2. Pilgrim's Pride Corporation is planning to stop animal abuse at its poultry plants after a video showed workers stomping and kicking live chickens at a West Virginia plant. How should it have handled the problem?
It should have started an advertising campaign claiming that abused chickens are a delicacy that taste better and lower cholesterol. Stopping the abuse is damage control - coopting it could actually have increased the company's market share. I'll bet their marketing department is kicking itself over this one.
3. Why is Wal-Mart pursuing a Charter of Rights and Freedoms suit in Canada?
So it can continue to tell employees that joining a union causes peoples' genitals to expand until they explode and that union membership is responsible for 94 per cent of people who die from safes falling on their heads. The suit would have the added benefit of ensuring that the company won't have to release documents such as "12 Myths About Unions You Need To Spread In Your Workplace" and "Torturing Employees for Fun and Profit" to union representatives. "We're a people company," a representative of Wal-Mart Canada, who threatened to sue Les Pages aux Folles if we revealed her identity, stated.
4. Why is Quebecor World in trouble with the United States National Labour Relations Board?
It found merit in charges the company intimidated, coerced and discriminated against employees, as well as retaliating against those who wanted to form a union. Maybe Quebecor World should get a hold of some of those internal Wal-Mart documents...
5. The US Environmental Protection Agency is charging that DuPont has covered up the ill effects of a chemical in its Teflon products for decades. What do you think of this?
We'll see if the EPA can make the charges stick.
6. What do you think of Canada's latest victory at the World Trade Organization in its ongoing lumber trade dispute with the US?
Ho hum. Another week, another lumber trade victory for Canada.
7. Seriously.
Seriously. This is lumber trade dispute victory eight of 137 - collect the whole set!
8. But, don't you care that this means that the US will have to stop levying unfair duties on Canadian lumber, and will have to pay back the unfair duties that it has already collected?
Now who's not being serious?
9. Did Ted Turner, founder of CNN and Time Warner board member, really write that media corporations have grown too large and powerful and need to be broken up?
The article was actually ghost written by Jane Fonda. Turner thought she was writing an article on the benefits of an all asparagus diet, and agreed to put his name on it because it was more likely to be published that way. Imagine his surprise!
10. Have you ever noticed that those who champion the selling off of iconic Canadian companies to Americans are the same people who claim that Canada isn't a real country because we have no historical institutions?
Could you rephrase that so I can be the one who makes the pithy observation?
11. Sure. What do you think about people who champion the selling off of iconic Canadian companies?
Have you ever noticed that they're the same people who - aww, I hate it when people telegraph punchlines!
12. If Canadians are so upset The Bay may be sold to an American company, then why is there no Canadian willing to buy it?
What are you talking about? I can put $25 towards buying The Bay...no, wait. I found some change under the cushions - I can afford $27.34. Is that enough? If not, does that mean I have forfeited my right to comment on the sale?
13. You really like to take cheap shots, don't you?
You're right. The sale of The Bay was an easy Target.
