A Gagliano is a measurement of political force. One Gagliano equals $100 million divided by 20,000 pages of Auditor General and Royal Commissions reports. When weighing potentially corrupt behaviour, a bureaucrat determines how close his actions come to a Gagliano...then does what he or she wants to anyway.
2) No, seriously, wasn't Gagliano a member of Jean Chretien's cabinet?
Actually Gagliano is the patron saint of Danish chocolates.
3) What exactly is the government's sponsorship programme?
Do you remember having to pay popular people to be your friends in high school? Well, the sponsorship programme was sort of like that - it was meant to make Canada popular with Canadians.
The Liberal Party used the sponsorship funds to make itself popular with advertising firms.
5) But, isn't promoting Canada a good thing?
Sure. So are fairies. But you wouldn't pay $100 million not to see them.
6) How was Canada Post involved?
It was paid $527,000 by Lafleur Communication to enter a stamp competition. Lafleur made a $62,000 commission on the payment, which was almost entirely paid back to the company. The up side is Lafleur Communication could be reasonably certain that the check wasn't in the mail.
It paid Lafleur Communication a $112,500 commission for not delivering a check for $750,000 for which it issued a false invoice. Great at corruption, but it still can't make the trains run on time.
8) Did Lafleur Communication have all the fun?
Certainly not! Groupaction was given a $330,000 contract to develop an advertising strategy for new firearms legislation, but there is no evidence that the campaign was actually developed. Give the government this: as corrupt as it may have been, at least it didn't play favourites.
9) Who was responsible for the accounting for the Department of Public Works?
The firm of Paul T. R. Geist and Casper the Friendly Auditor.
10) Is the RCMP investigating the possibility of fraud?
Undoubtedly. Well, those who weren't involved in accepting millions of dollars to display the Canada symbol at their 125th anniversary celebrations, something the RCMP was already required to do and, in any case, didn't do beyond its minimal requirements.
11) What is the government doing about the scandal?
Paul Martin's Liberals are setting up a special counsel which will have a mandate to sue to recover misused money. There will be a judicial inquiry to uncover wrongdoing. There will be reviews by parliamentary committees of the sponsorship programme, of tougher penalties for public servants who break financial administration laws and of how Crown corporations are governed.
12) What will the result of all of these measures be?
With any luck, they will so interfere with each other's investigations that their effects will be minor and, in any case, not occur until long after the grandchildren of all of the principles have passed away.
13) Was Prime Minister Paul Martin involved?
In giving contracts to companies for non-existent work? Are you on crack? Martin is often so casual about stating his government's policies, it's hard to believe he's involved with being Prime Minister!
14) Was former Prime Minister Jean Chretien involved?
If he was, you can be sure that one of the 57 varieties of committees investigating the scandal will uncover it. Leave a time capsule telling your great-grandchildren to find out or, if you are really keen on knowing, invest in cryogenic technologies.
15) Who are Chuck Guite and Pierre Tremblay?
A Las Vegas lounge act.
16) Weren't there rules in place to ensure that this sort of thing didn't happen?
Of course. However, as a cost cutting measure, there was only one copy of the rules, and that was kept in a safe in Rimouski, and nobody dared read it for fear of damaging it so much that another copy would have to be printed. This is how the government protects your hard earned tax dollars.
17) What could that $100 million have been spent on?
Charisma for the Prime Minister. A muzzle for Sheila Copps. Better food in the Parliament cafeteria. The list is endless.
18) Has any good come of this?
Yes. Auditor General Sheila Fraser has recovered her sense of outrage.
19) How will this affect the Liberal's chances in the next election?
Their majority will be reduced to 63 seats.