Head For Cover!

The one Web site you can be sure doesn't cut and run off at the mouth...
Where you are discouraged from displaying paroxysms of patriotism...
This, too, shall pass wind...
Do computer programmers take vitamin C++ supplement tablets?
I veg your pardon!
Keep it symbol, stupid...
People who mix their food scraps with their regular garbage are non-compost mentis...
The operation was a success, but the patient wasn't fully operationalized...
Some conditions always apply...
One place on the Net where you don't have to feel boxed in with Schrodinger's cat...
Where you're always welcome, even if you're not a reproductive member of society...
From codex to codecs...
Where rats never sing...
The Web site with nothing new to say, but the joy of language to say it with...
Relax! It's just a fate I'm going through...
Every rule has an exception...except this one...
Where we measure our failures in petaflops...
To a slapstick comedian, bladder control is a whole other problem...
Flee your mind!
Where Covert Ops is defined as "Covert Oops..."
New Deal? That's soooooo 1940s!
Fighting the hardening of hearts and arteries since non-sequiturs were first sacrilized...
When meaning comes thick, it helps to wear a pith helmet...
Would it be fair to say that the author of The Wizard of Oz was Da Baum?
Oh, you got a lotta nerf!
It helps if you turn it on...
It's good to be able to laugh at yourself...but, if you can't, laughing at others will just have to do...
Commodify your ignorance!
Where it is generally acknowledged that the increased white space is between Leonard Asper's ears...
Phish or cut bait...
The onus is on us to allege on a ledge how the prime eight primates live with the gilt guilt of having stolen the primary prime aerie...
In case of emergency, don't break my glasses.
Doctor Nguyen -- good to see you again...
A Web site that's not afraid to call fabric swatches for an ottoman stool samples...
Senseless working overtime...
Mergers and acquisitions specialists to the left of me! Mergers and acquisitions specialists to the right of me!
I hate when that happens...and I don't even know what's going on!
Tab Hunter, please go to the white courtesy phone. Tab Hunter to the white courtesy phone, please...
The Celts have their own language, for better or erse...
Some people are just not fated to be feted...
Why are we asked to consider the unintended consequences of increasing welfare payments, but never allowed to consider the unintended consequences of invading other countries?
Where The Lord of the Rings offers CGI for the straight guy...
Where mistaking Bactine for Reactine is funnier than it would be in real life...
The sadistic computer programmer is always looking for somebody to dBase...
Conrad Black is the master of financial ledgerdemain...
Copyright? As long as I get cash, I can live without the credit...
Where we always keep an eye out for the Hun in the Hyundai...
In principle, uncertainty is certain...
President Bush wants to break down the walls between church and state...could there be a Methodist in his madness?
Praise the lard and pass the kimmel bagels...
At play in the fields of the lard...
The lard works in mysterious ways...
Ask not for whom the Tom Toles. He Toles for thee...
Sure, I love vaginas, but I don't want to belabia the point...
Where you are always encouraged to invest in the dot com before the storm...
For a good time, don't call...
Seize the daze...
Where the ideal relationship with readers is one of master and surfant...
Two years on the Web and nothing clever to say about it!
A place you can admit that the fine print is fine in name only...
For goodness' sake, get a hold of yoursel - NOT THAT PART OF YOURSELF!
Featuring the hit single "Wichita Linesman (Cuisinart Remix)..."
Where drosophilia is more than just...uhh...whatever it is in other places...
Where wolves of London...
I don't know - what do you think it is?
Eleven easy elephants entrance eating emirs effortlessly...
Eek! A spouse!
Head for hills! The game Twister is coming!
How now brownout?
Where silliness is not just an impediment to higher productivity - it's a way of life!
Living life in the fast Nathan Lane...