Who Let the Doggerels Out?
Blame the Beeb
Blair lies
Kelly dies
Blame the Beeb
The lies
Were meant to rationalize
Enlisting allies
In death from the skies
Against a leader whom Tony despised.
It was a disguise
For wondering eyes
Who, nonetheless, began to realize
The manipulation of spies
Had but one prize:
Oil.
Down in the polls
Because of your pro-war role?
Blame the Beeb
Tony insists that he was right
Even though, night after night
And despite
America's might
No weapons of mass destruction have come to light.
Meanwhile, it's considered impolite
To speak of the Iraqis' plight
The occupation is a blight,
While hope of democracy is slight
But ridding the world of Saddam makes it alright.
Sexed up intelligence
Dooms your government to irrelevance
Blame the Beeb
Sixteen Little Words
1. So what if I lied? You think a Republican House and Senate will do anything? Seriously?
2. If you don't like intelligence you're getting, start agencies that will give you intelligence you want.
3. When you think about it, 450,000,000,000 is a huge number. Try not to think about it.
4. Sure, soldiers are complaining about extended Iraq tours. I would have...if I had ever fought.
5. Zen masters spend their entire lives trying to become empty vessels. I did it without effort.
6. Quantanamo executions? Piece of cake. After all, I hold the record for most executions in Texas.
7. I love the United Nations...in a white wine sauce with mashed potatoes. Ha ha ha.
8. You have to admit that flying onto the deck of the aircraft carrier, I looked fantastic.
9. Of course I reward my campaign contributors with big, fat, juicy tax and environmental law breaks.
10. Iraq will have full and fair elections as soon as we're certain we'll like whoever wins.
11. Not a quagmire. Nope. Uh uh. Not even close. No way. Not a quagmire. Really. No.
12. Of course you can believe everything I say about Iran's nuclear weapons ambitions. That's totally different!
13. All you need to know is: Saddam bad, Saddam bad, Saddam bad, Saddam bad, Saddam bad...
14. If you're not with America, you're against us. I was clear - why are former allies surprised?
15. At the rate of one a day, 1460 people will die in four years - hardly any.
16. I am not fit to hold elected office. Impeach me before I make war once more.
Sam Waksal's Blues
Gather round children, don't be late
To learn about the gruesome fate
And events too horrible to relate
Although I will tell you the facts, all
Of the sad tale of Sam Waksal
Sammy, that naughty boy, was caught
Practicing tax evasion, obstruction of justice and bank and securities fraud
So a long prison term for this miscreant was sought
An inability to send a fax'll
Be all that awaits that rascally Sam Waksal
Now, followers of justice may object
To his going to a minimum security correct-
Ional facility, but it's hell to have to call your broker collect
And wonder if you'll be able to keep up with your regular doses of Paxil
Such are the horrors that will bedevil Sam Waksal
This life he would not have chose
The food is not served with a rose
And you're no longer allowed to wear your own clothes
Not declaring all your income and paying proper tax'll
Get you a cell next to Sam Waksal
Imagine how one must suffer
If he has the soul of a golf duffer
And is only allowed to play a game of tennis or other
Passtime. In the softball tournament he'll take his hacks'll
The chastened and morose Sam Waksal
What is a criminal's life worth?
When he has lost all joy and forsaken all mirth
Surely, this prison is hell on earth
Worse than driving with a broken axle
Such is the fate of the broken Sam Waksal
