Meaning Doggerel Bag
Toronto The, Uhh, Okay
Foreign wars. People with SARS.
Cops unhappy with mere cars.
Early closing bars.
Montreal is from Venus, Toronto Mars.
A computer leasing scandal that's gone on too long.
Construction contracts that go to friends for a song.
A mayor who is a real ding-dong
Even though voters think he can do no wrong.
Homeless men who give you lip.
Polar bears who take a winter dip.
Kids in mohawks who think they're still hip
As they ogle the (literal) Yonge Street strip.
Intemperate outbursts from the police chief
Who insists racial profiling is outside his brief
While every legitimate protestor is treated like a thief
And the head of the union makes threats beyond belief.
City councillors who should be counseled for verbal abuse.
On the streets, American film companies are let loose.
You can try to explain, but what's the use?
For, truly, who can explain the moose?
Waves breaking on The Beach with toxic foam.
Losing teams playing at Skydome.
Our talents ever southward roam
But what the hell - Toronto's home!
The Rummy Scratch
Nah, nah, you should see me when I'm on fire.
I'm on fire
I'm on fire
You should see me when I'm on fire
I'm on fire
I'm on fire
You should see me when I'm on fire
I'm on fire
On fire
Fire
Nah, nah.
And freedom's untidy.
The
The Coalition
The Coalition Forces
Coalition Forces are
Forces are not
Are not
Are not
Forces are not
Are not
Are not
Bombing Baghdad.
The Coalition Forces.
And freedom's untidy.
We do not
Do not
Do not
Do not
We do not
Do not
Do not
Seek empires
We are not
Are not
Are not
Are not
We are not
Are not
Are not
Imperialistic.
We never have
Never have
Never have
Never have
We never have
Never have
Never have
Been.
I can't imagine why
Imagine why
Imagine why
Imagine why
I can't imagine why
Imagine why
You'd even ask that question.
And freedom's untidy.
My goodness
Goodness
Goodness
Were there
Goodness
Goodness
Goodness
Were there
Goodness
Goodness
Goodness
That many vases?
And freedom's untidy.
I don't think there's ever been a war where
People haven't been killed
Been killed
Been killed
Or prisoners haven't been taken
Been taken
Been taken
People haven't been killed
Been killed
Been killed
Or prisoners haven't been taken
Been taken
Been taken
I don't think there's ever been a war where
I don't think there's ever been war
I don't think there's ever been
I don't think there's ever
I don't think there's
I don't think.
And freedom's untidy.
Lament of Youth
Where're we goin'?
Whadd're we doin'?
Where're we goin'?
Whadd're we doin'?
Where're we goin'?
Whadd're we doin'?
Hunh?
Hunh?
Whadd're we doin'?
Where're we goin'?
Whadd're we doin'?
Where're we goin'?
Whadd're we doin'?
Where're we goin'?
Are we there, yet?
I'm bored!
Subject to Change
Give me your tired, [1] your poor, [2]
your huddled masses yearning to breathe free, [3]
the wretched refuse of your teeming shore. [4]
Send these, the homeless, tempest-tost to me, [5]
I lift my lamp beside the golden door! [6]
[1] We've been cutting back on disability insurance, so do not come here unless you are physically able to work.
[2] We've got our own poor to deal with, thank you very much; if you want to come to this country, you'll get more points if you bring a small fortune of your own.
[3] We've been busy watering down laws that protect the environment, making it easier for corporations to spew filth into the air, so if breathing free is really your goal, you might want to stay put.
[4] Except for Iran, Saudi Arabia and other fundamentalist Islamic states, as well as other nations whose nationals we may, from time to time, profile as acting against our interests.
[5] No, no, no, no, no. We patrol our borders very carefully, so don't expect a warm welcome just because you threw together a few pieces of wood and braved stormy seas.
[6] Enjoy your stay.
