The President looked into the abyss. Deep. Dark. Mysterious. "Hello...?" he tentatively said. "Hello!" said the Washington Post. "Hi!" said CNN. "How ya doin?" said the New York Post. "Greetings," said Time magazine. "Hey, there!" said the hosts of Crossfire. "Ninety-seven per cent of Americans offer their greetings," said USA Today. "Breakdown by state on page 11."
"Neat!" thought the President.
He wondered how reliable the echo was. A test was clearly in order. Although the President knew that the United States was primarily responsible for stalling United Nations action on Rwanda, he said, "If the Security Council does not act on Iraq, it will prove itself ineffectual, just as it did in Rwanda." The President cupped his ear and waited for the response.
"Security Council accused of dropping ball on Iraq/Situation identical to Rwanda" said the Washington Post. "Iraq - another Rwanda?" said CNN. "UN bloody useless - just like in Rwanda!" said the New York Post. "Rwanda - case study in Security Council ineffectiveness," said Time magazine. "UN Security Council - ineffectual or just plain evil?" said the hosts of Crossfire. "Americans mistrust UN Security Council, cite Rwanda as cause," said USA Today.
"Good," the President thought. "The echo seems to have no memory." Still, he wondered how it would act in the presence of contradictory information. An expert on gas warfare had recently suggested that the gas that killed Iraqi Kurds had the chemical properties of weapons used by Iran, not Iraq. A different source had suggested that the Iranian military was Iraq's primary target, making the gassing of the Kurds an unintended by-product of war. "What can you say about a man who deliberately gasses his own people?" the President said.
"Immoral Hussein gassed own people," said the Washington Post. "How evil is Saddam Hussein? He gassed his own people!" said CNN. "Butcher of Baghdad deserves to rot in hell!" said the New York Post. "Liquid skin - what Iraq's chemical weapons did to the Kurds," said Time magazine. "Saddam Hussein: should he be tortured or just subjected to his own chemical weapons?" said the hosts of Crossfire. "Americans believe Saddam Hussein to be a very, very bad man," said USA Today.
This was getting better and better all the time. Still, the President wondered how far he could push things. Would the echo repeat information that was incoherent or simply wrong? "France can't be trusted," the President said, "because President Jacques Chirac secretly wears women's clothes."
"Chirac's private life may be interfering with his political judgement on Iraq" said the Washington Post. "Uncovering Chirac's little secret" said CNN. "French President in cross-dressing shocker!" said the New York Post. "Personal foibles affect French President's international credibility," said Time magazine. "Transvestite Chirac - traitor to the United States of America, or traitor to humanity?" said the hosts of Crossfire. "Americans wary of alternative lifestyles for world leaders," said USA Today.
Interesting. But, still, the President didn't know if he hadn't pushed the echo as far as it could go. Surely, the echo must have a limit? So, the President added: "The American government has proof Saddam Hussein flew the plane that destroyed the World Trade Centre!"
"Are you sure about this?" the Washington Post asked.
The President nodded. "The second plane. Yep. Definitely."
"Hussein's involvement in terrorist attack deeper than at first thought" said the Washington Post. "Hussein piloted death plane" said CNN. "Saddam destroyed Twin Towers and lived to talk about it in pact with devil!" said the New York Post. "Government has proof Hussein headed terrorist attack" said Time magazine. "We can't let the bastard Saddam get away with the destruction of the World Trade Centre" said the hosts of Crossfire. "Forty-three per cent of Americans believe Iraq behind terrorist attack," said USA Today.
This was fun, but even the most dedicated megalomaniac will tire of hearing his words repeated back to him sooner or later, so the President decided to give his new knowledge to his people. In a live broadcast, he told the nation that Saddam Hussein was such a monster that he gassed his own people and piloted the plane that destroyed the Twin Towers of the World Trade Center. Saddam was a madman who must be stopped, even if the United Nations Security Council refused to act, as they had in Rwanda, and even if cross-dressing French President Jacques Chirac threatened to veto any action the United States proposed.
And, the President believed it.
After all, if so many people in the media said it was true, who was he to disagree?
