"Larry?"
"Bud?"
"I -"
"How did you get this number, Bud?"
"You interrupted my flow, Larry."
"Strictly speaking, I short-circuited your flow, Bud. Cut it off before it even started. How did -"
"Was that I friendly thing to do? I don't think that was a friendly thing to do. I mean, how do you know if you want to listen to my spiel if you don't let me get into the flow?"
"How did you get this number?"
"Word gets around."
"Great. Next time I get a new, unlisted number, I'm going to have to get a new set of friends at the same time."
"So, can I get into the flow, now?"
"As the punk rocker told his parents when they forced him to sit through a Wayne Newton marathon: 'Why don't I just slit my wrists now and save everybody the grief?'"
"The only people who'll be slitting body parts are the people who didn't get in on the ground floor of this sweet, sweet deal when they had the chance, Larry. Imagine it: Kurt and Elvis, together again for the first time!"
"You...you're putting on an Ice Capades show in Canada?"
"Music, Bubbelach! Music! I'm talking Kurt Cobain and Elvis Presley!"
"Oh."
"Who did you think I was talking about?"
"Cobain and Presley - aren't they dead?"
"And, your point is...?"
"Dead musicians aren't usually - I mean, they don't often...it's hard to get new music out of them..."
"Are you kidding me? ARE...YOU...KIDDING...ME? Hendrix has been dead for 30 years, and my grandchildren cry if they don't get an album of new material from him under the Chanukkah bush!"
"Sure, sure, but nobody is trying to team him up with Eddy Vedder."
"That's the beauty part."
"This nightmare has a beauty part?"
"They're icons from different eras. The potential cross-generational appeal of the music is...unlimited!"
"Bud, let's stick with the dead thing for a moment. How do you think you'll be able to get Kurt Cobain and Elvis Presley - who we both agree are life deprived - on an album together?"
"Easy. I just bought the rights to Kurt Cobain gargling for two and a half hours - the boy really loved his mouthwash. Add that to Presley humming 'Psychotic Reaction' - the rights to which I have had forever. We go into the studio to tweak the vocals and - viola! - a guaranteed number one hit the whole family can enjoy!"
"Tweak the vocals?"
"Term too technical for you?"
"No, I -"
"It's amazing what they can do with voice modulation these days."
"No doubt. Still, I have doubts."
"Hit me."
"Don't tempt me."
"I have a killer idea. I am impervious to your taunts."
"Okay, look...what kind of song can you get from Elvis Presley humming and Kurt Cobain gargling?"
"We'll take the lyrics from Kurt's diaries and set it to the tune of 'I Will Survive.'"
"You're gonna compete with Donna Summer?"
"Borrow from the best, Larry. Borrow from the best."
"But, as the twelve-toed Latvian lounge singer said to his accountant's one-eyed cockatiel...err...umm, aren't you going to interrupt me?"
"You're on your own, kiddo."
"But, I mean...we're movie producers, Bud. Since when are you so interested in music?"
"Larry, Larry, Larry. There's a little innovation in filmmaking you may have heard of - we like to call it A SOUNDTRACK?"
"Okay. Sure. But, still. What kind of movie would have this kind of music on its soundtrack?"
"Larry, must you always fixate on the inconsequential details?"
