"No means no hotline..."
"Yeah. Hi."
"Is there something I can help you with?"
"Uhh, yeah. Suppose I'm with a girl, and, well, you know how things get, right? And, I know she wants it, right? As long as I know she wants it, it's okay to give it to her, right?"
"Would she agree to have sexual intercourse?"
"Well, no, but -"
"Would she say no before you started?"
"Well, Only 14 or 15 times, but -"
"Do not have sexual intercourse with this woman."
"It may only have been 10 or 12 times."
"Once is enough, sir."
"Yes, but, I know that all the time she was saying no, she really wanted to do it, but, like, maybe she was just being coy, or she had to overcome a, like, psychological blockage..."
"Overcome a psychological blockage?"
"Right. Right? So, I figured when she said, 'No," she really meant, 'Break out the condoms.'"
"I'm sorry, sir, but if a woman says no, it means she is refusing to have sexual intercourse."
"But, it's a matter of interpretation, right?"
"Well, no. When a doctor tells you you'll need heart surgery, do you believe she's telling you to take two aspirins and call her in the morning?"
"What does she look like?"
"When your accountant tells you that you can't afford your next mortgage payment, do you assume she's really telling you to go out and buy a VCR?"
"Well..."
"Well?"
"No."
"So, why do you assume that when a woman says no to sexual intercourse, she really means yes?"
"Well, it's cultural acclimatization, isn't it?"
"Where do you come up with these terms?"
"Okay...okay. What if...she's drunk?"
"If a woman's judgment is in any way impaired - if she is drunk, high on drunks or even merely sleeping - she cannot be considered to have given meaningful consent."
"I could live with meaningless consent."
"It wouldn't save you from a rape charge."
"Oh."
"You know, having sexual intercourse with a woman who was drunk was referred to as 'taking advantage' before men started calling it 'a legal defense.'"
"You know, it's people like you that take all the romance out of relationships between men and women..."
"Romance? You think it's romantic to get a woman drunk and have sexual intercourse with her after she has repeatedly told you she didn't want to do it?"
"Sure. Why? What do you think?"
"I think you should turn yourself in to the police right away and save everybody a lot of embarrassment."
"Hey, look, I'm just following 'centuries of accepted behaviour,' right? There is a 'biological imperative' at work here that makes men act the way we do."
"Where did you get that nonsense?"
"The Ontario Criminal Lawyers Association."
"Nice company you keep."
"Look, these are just questions I have, right? It's not like I'm weird or anything."
"I know. That's the saddest part."
"What?"
"Look, if you want sexual intercourse that badly, why don't you just find a woman who says yes?"
"Says what?"
"Yes."
"There are women who say yes?"
