The Question on Every Headlines' Mind Is...

It Depends What's Chasing You

"Is going running in a cemetery 'disrespectful'?" - Toronto Star

Nobody Has Any Idea, But They Know They Won't Like It

"Society may change, but in what way?" - Toronto Star

When The Apes Came Down From The Trees - It Was All Downhill From There

"Where did it all go wrong for Canada's COVID response?" - Toronto Star

Absolutely! ...Until Next Week's Changes

"Will this past week change America forever?" - Toronto Star

Did It Ever?

"Does the world need the Oscars this year?" - Globe and Mail

If It Takes A Village To Make A Child, It Logically Follows...

"Who needs an ocean to make waves?" - Toronto Star

Brampton? I Doubt It...

"Is this where the soul lives?" - Globe and Mail

It Was Just A...A...A Stiff Breeze
It Will Pass

"Did Canadian butter really get firmer?" - Toronto Star

You Want Them To Get COVID On Top Of...You Know? That's Cold!

"Infertility is isolating. So why don't more men talk about it?" - Globe and Mail

Not If They Were Designed For Squash

"Should our courts be playing politics?" - Toronto Star

Not If Kids Are Lucky

"Will overnight camps run this summer?" - Globe and Mail

Harriet Beachbaumler Of 247 St. Clair Avenue
Next Time You See Her, Could You Mention That My 1974 Pontiac Fugue State Wants It Back?

"Cars are collecting your data. But who really owns it?" - Toronto Star

Yes, But Your Pants Choices Ensure No One Will Notice

"Are my sneaker choices uncool?" - Toronto Star

Another Year Older And Deeper In Debt

"ONTARIO BUDGET
What are we getting for all that spending?" - Toronto Star

When They're Old Enough To Have "Friends" Of Their Own

"When can I tell kids about 'Daddy's friend'?" - Toronto Star

Forgetting The Lessons Of The Second Lockdown
Give It A Minute...Almost There...

"What will it take for third lockdown?" - Toronto Star

A Strange Way Of Describing Frank L. Baum's Writing

"Questionable call: What is 'Oz on Jeopardy'?" - Toronto Star

Yard Sales

"How will Canada pay back its pandemic debt?" - Globe and Mail

We'll All Start Speaking Hungarian?

"Clinic bridged language divide. What happens when it shuts down?" - Toronto Star

Asked The Good Burgers Of The City

"Hey, York, would you like some Pfizer with that?" - Toronto Star

I Could Make An Educated...You Know...

"Why does t feel like Ontario is guided by guesswork?" - Toronto Star

Audrey II Lives!

"Flower crawl, anyone?" - Toronto Star

My Hip Is As Bad As It Can Possibly Get, So Yes, You Could Say That

"Have you properly prepared for your replacement?" - Globe and Mail

I'm Going To Throw Caution To The Wind And Invest In Lunch

"Should you invest in stocks or bonds?" - Toronto Star

Sure, But Without An Empire, It's Hard To Know What Good It Will Do Us

"Will we really be vaccinated by the fall?" - Toronto Star

If Our Strongest Antacids Couldn't...

"Could EV chargers help replace gas stations?" - Toronto Star

Elect A New Writer

"What we can do when the plot is lost?" - Toronto Star

Now People Won't Die At Non-police Crises

"Toronto approved a non-police crisis response team. Now what?" - Toronto Star

His Family Would Argue Both

"Is Ford fighting for lives, or his job? - Toronto Star

Professor Plum With The Lead Pipe

"Who killed gang leader outside karaoke bar?" - Toronto Star

SOL SRO BS

"What's going on with GTA's ICU capacity?" - Toronto Star

Are You Kidding? Can God Find A Meritocracy?

"Can the Meritocracy Find God? - New York Times

She Studied Poli Sci With Doug Henning, So I Wouldn't Bet Against Her

"Does Freeland have enough pandemic tricks up her sleeve?" - Toronto Star

Faith And A Fifth Of Bourbon

"How can anyone trust this government again?" - Toronto Star

You Need To Make An Appointment With FWA (Fright Wigs Anonymous)

"I often make a fool of myself. Can she handle it?" - Toronto Star

I Don't Know! Who Do I Look Like, T. S. Eliot‽

"Death: How exactly do we measure life?" - Globe and Mail

Teach It Birth Control

"What can we do about plastic increase?" - Toronto Star

Well, If It Counts For Anything, They're Serious About The Liberals NOT Forming The Next Government

"Are Tories serious about forming government?" - Toronto Star

Herb Tarlick Would Be Proud

"Did 'Discount Casket Guy' cross the line?" - Toronto Star