Headlines Shook Its Head and Muttered, "You Hadda Ask, Didn't You? You Just Hadda Ask!”

For Business, Other Remedies As Welcome As Root (Problem) Canal

"Food banks don't work
So why does the federal government keep pouring millions into them instead of fixing the root problem of food insecurity?” - Toronto Star

Is That Some Kind Of Mangled Old Yeller Reference?

"Hair of the dog with this shot, too?” - Toronto Sun

 I Don't Know
But, The Right Kind Of Acid Could Be The Key To Happier Me

"‘Acid mantle' is the new buzz term in skin care
Could repairing yours be the key to happier skin?” - Toronto Star

My, Oh My, Firefly

"Dispute erupts over natural garden as city asks: What's up, buttercup?” - Toronto Star

Pardonnez Moo?

"Is the message getting lost in the translation?” - Toronto Star

 Anything He Wants
That's Kind Of The Point Of Having Absolute Power, Isn't It?

"What Can Mr. Putin Get Away With?” - New York Times

Any One I'm Not Living In :-(

"What's the best smelling city in the world?” - Toronto Star

Treat Them Like Foreign Terrorists

"How can a democracy stop domestic traitors?” - Toronto Star

As Much As We Need An Appendix

"Do we really need a governor general?” - Toronto Star

She Woke Up

"Why would she leave after dream marriage of 25 years?” - Toronto Star

Street Musicians Who Play Industrial Songs Can Be Very Confusing

"Music from buskers or construction noise?” - Toronto Star

 Mrs. Madeline Defenstrator, 53 The Gracious Lane, Aldershot, ON
(But, Not All At Once, Please)

"With testing issues, who are we supposed to trust?” - Toronto Star

Only If You Accidentally Drive Over Yourself

"Does owning a car hurt your health?” - Globe and Mail

At This Point, Who's Counting?

"Will reopening lead to a second wave of cases?” - Toronto Star

As Soon As They Become Billionaires

"When do we prioritize the well-being of our kids?” - Toronto Star

What You Would During Any Other Time: It Will Make Her Skin Turn Grey And The Only People Who Will Want To Go Out With Her Are Zombies

"What do I tell my daughter regarding lockdown dating?” - Toronto Star

Their Business Model Is That They Won't Make Good On Any Of Them

"How can they offer so many choices?” - Toronto Star

 I Hope Not
We've Seen This Movie, And It Doesn't End Well

"Could A.I. Devise a Theory of Everything?” - New York Times

 I Have No Idea
But If Teachers Haven't Developed It, We'll All Learn A Hard Lesson

"What's the plan for schools?” - Toronto Star

I Know I Can Be Late To Things, But Millennia Would Be A Personal Best!

"Should you join the great exodus?” - Toronto Star

Are You Kidding? I'd Be In It For Them, And I'm Not Even Looking!

"Was she only in it for the oysters and truffle fries?” - Toronto Star

 I Have No Idea
But It Isn't Very Intelligent

"Whose design is it, anyway?” - Globe and Mail

 Keifer Sutherland Will Play You In The Biopic
He's The Canadian Tom Hanks, You Know

"Mister Armstrong, won't you be my neighbour?” - Toronto Star

The First Time It Didn't Take

"Why is my friend getting divorced once again?” - Toronto Star

Umm...I Hadn't Really Thought - I Don't Know...Maybe?

"Is a little certainty too much to ask?” - Toronto Star

 It's When You Gently Take Your Lover's Cheeks In Your Hand
Given My Clumsiness, I Don't Dare Try It - I Would End Up Poking Her In The Eye

"What is facial cupping, and should you try it?” - Toronto Star

 Yes
Unfortunately, In Doing So, It Poked The City In The Eye

"Has the city embraced the need to redesign our streets?” - Globe and Mail

 No
In The Long Term, It Will Crumble To Dust No Matter What You Do

"Will a blue-light filter on my phone help my skin in the long term?” - Globe and Mail

I'm Going To Have To Be Put Out On A Two Star Ice Floe Instead Of A Four Star Ice Floe

"How much has the virus hurt your plans for retirement?” - Toronto Star

It Would Give New Meaning To The Phrase: "The Defence Rests”

"Can virtual trials solve court backlog?” - Toronto Star

 No
But It Might Get The Country Out Of Its Seats And Dancing In The Aisles

"Will Biden's 'whole soul' be enough to heal America?” - Globe and Mail

Blame It On Rio

"It was supposed to just be fun. How did they end up married?” - Toronto Star

A Combination Of Mussolini And Mister Rodgers - How Hard Can It Be?

"What exactly is the look you want, Mr. O'Toole?” - Toronto Star

Hope For The Best, Blame Trudeau For The Worst

"So what's O'Toole's economic plan?" - Toronto Star