Headlines Didn't Have To Ask, But...Yeah...

It Would Have To Get Up Early And Work Extra Hours To Be Worse Than The Existing One

"Will the new Employment Insurance be up to the job?" - Toronto Star

They Can't Afford The Bleach Cure

"Why do some patients get so sick with COVID-19?" - Toronto Star

Don't Trust The Ref To Make The Call - He's A Democrat!

"A 'Walk' Signal, But Are They Safe?" - New York Times

Oooh - Now, I'm Craving a PSJF Sandwich!

"Why are we being subjected to Pandemic Super Junk Food?" - Toronto Star

At Least Sports Are Coming Back...Oh, Don't Tell Me...!

"When it comes to pandemic response, what are Americans so happy about? - Toronto Star

If You Have To Ask, You Can't Afford To Know

"Rap on Peace and Love.
What Could Go Wrong?" - New York Times

And, If So, How Will President Trump Blame It On The Radical Left?

"Will Halloween be cancelled by COVID-19?" - Toronto Star

Hey! The Economy Has A Gun To Its Head - Why Shouldn't Consumers?

"What is the point of testing customers entering markets?" - Toronto Star

In Cases Like This, I Always Ask Myself WWAD (What Would Abba Do)?

"Should I take a chance on an ex-colleague?" - Toronto Star

 As Long As Its Over By The End Of The Hour
If It Doesn't, I'll Probably Look For A Movie To Watch On Netflix

"Are we really ready for long pandemic fight?" - Toronto Star

The Canada Geese Overhead Don't Think So

"Closed borders. Less demand for labour. Has pandemic ended an age of migration?" - Toronto Star

In THAT Outfit? Puh-leeeeze!

"Should I bother getting dressed?" - Toronto Star

 I'm Sensing A Theme, Here
But, You Probably Already Knew That

"Should public health trump right to privacy?" - Toronto Star

 "Do we need to loosen data rules?" - Toronto Star

 We Got Seven And A Half Answers
Next Time, We'll Include At Least One Math Teacher

"We asked five health experts: Will you send your children back to school?" - Toronto Star

And, Who, Exactly, Has Made Them So Impotent?

"U.S. post office not able to deliver?" - Toronto Sun

I'm Sure It Would Be Easy...If I Could Find It Among The Icons On My Phone...

"Just how hard is it to open a calendar?" - Toronto Star

Make Coal Out Of Them To Fill Voters' Stockings

"What will Tories do with gifts Trudeau keeps giving them?" - Toronto Star

 You Had To Ask, Didn't You?
You Just Couldn't Help Yourself - You Had To Ask!

"August is almost over. What will fall bring?" - Toronto Star

 "A fall election? How ever did that prospect come up?" - Toronto Star

Why Would He? They're So Alluring...

"Can the next Conservative leader steer clear of stinking albatrosses?" - Globe and Mail

I'm Still Trying To Figure Out Why I Wanted It A Year Ago!

"Do you really want that wedding cake a year later?" - Toronto Star

Remind Him Of The Incident With The Tourist From Pennsylvania, The Video Of Behind the Green P Door And The Box Of Chunky Peanut Butter Oreo Cookies

"How do I handle flirty ex who texts me suggestively?" - Toronto Star

It's Unlikely That He Ever Left The Booze, So...

"Is it back to the boos for Premier Ford?" - Toronto Star

A Win

"What do Conservative voters want from their new leader?" - Toronto Star

If It Is, I Don't Want To Be Deep!

"Is it shallow to care about trends right now?" - Toronto Star

You Can't Hurt Anybody By Throwing A Cigarette Package At Them

"If smoking a joint is to be allowed in our parks, why not a beer or wine?" - Globe and Mail

 The Poorest Won't Contribute To My Reelection Campaign
If Only They Weren't Such Stingy Bastards...

"Why give tax breaks to the wealthiest?" - Toronto Star

 Newspaper Answers Own Question:
"Women often appointed to top roles during turmoil"
     - Toronto Star

"Freeland has a new portfolio: Now what?" - Toronto Star

In Their Teeth. They...They Have To Shore Up Their Chins With Struts And Be Fed Intravenously...

"People are buying up gold. Where is it being stored?" - Toronto Star

They Aren't Broken Beyond Repair, Yet

"Freeland excels at fixing thing. Why is she not in charge?" - Globe and Mail

Like...Victory...

"How does 18.8 per cent alcohol taste?" - Toronto Star

Not Only Will The Country Get On Its Feet, But, If You Ask Nicely Enough, It Will Waterdance For You

"Will the real Erin stand up?" - Toronto Star

Suggest Them? I Can't Even Pronounce Them!

"Can you suggest lipsticks that are free of caprylic triglyceride?" - Globe and Mail

I Would Have Gone With "Sacrifical Lamb," But Either Of Those Choices Would Work, Too, I Guess...

"Is Freeland Trudeau's heir apparent or future rival?" - Toronto Star