Les Pages Aux Folles: Headlines Don't Like Their Bedtimes (But Realize This is Not The Right Time to Complain)
Headlines Don't Like Their Bedtimes (But Realize This is Not The Right Time to Complain)
You Could Say She Staired That Mountain Down
Ha Ha
But, Seriously, I Could Do That...One Elevator At A Time...
"Scottish grandmother climbs to top of mountain - one stair at a time"
- Toronto Star
Time For A Timbuk Three Revival!
"For Many Americans, the Future Looks Bleak"
- New York Times
They Seem To Be On (Mixed) Message
"Conservative candidates focus on unity
Leadership hopefuls barely engage after testy French-language debate"
- Toronto Star
Because Bar Goons Are No Bargain
"Back on the hunt for bargoons"
- Toronto Sun
Jesus Begeezus, Does The President Have To Involve Himself In Everything‽
"Avoiding virus could trump talent
A cup won because your stars stayed healthy may come with an asterisk"
- Toronto Star
Expect Handmaids To Be The Subjects
"Gilead to test inhaled form of anti-COVID drug"
- Toronto Star
You're Right! We Need Body X-ray Machines!
"Body cameras won't boost police transparency"
- Toronto Sun
Could That Be The Crest Of The Learning Curve Up Ahead?
"'It's been a week of learning,' RCMP officer says"
- Toronto Star
"Top Mountie now says 'systemic racism' exists"
- Toronto Star
They're Just Following Instructions In Mao's Little Red Menu
"Beijing Seeks 'Revolution' in Way Chopsticks Are Used"
- New York Times
Setting Up Mike Newel's Sequel: Four Funerals And A Wedding
"Ontario eases restrictions on weddings, funerals"
- Toronto Star
Are You Sure You're Asking The Right Question?
"Defunding cops not the answer"
- Toronto Sun
"Cop had sex with girl?
T.O. constable accused of exploiting 16-year-old"
- Toronto Sun
"Montreal cop faces sex rap"
- Toronto Sun
On The Other Hand, If Weather IS The Next Crisis...
"Disaster-proof your finances for the future
Experts urge families to take steps to make sure they can weather the next crisis"
- Toronto Star
Lovely Idea, Ugly Neologism
"The 'Great Awokening' is spreading"
- Toronto Star
Maybe If Cops Didn't Pack So Many...
"Ease up on the trigger
Councillors push to defund police with gun crime on the rise"
- Toronto Sun
Unlike The Last Dozen Elections, Where They Weren't A Big Thang
"Ad buys will be crucial in next election"
- Toronto Star
But Try Telling That To The Sheep!
"Herd Immunity Lags in Fighting Coronavirus"
- New York Times
It Contains A Lot Of Old People
Surely One Of Them Must Remember How!
"Conservative party needs to be relevant again"
- Toronto Star
Are You Sure It's Not Just The Market's Time Of The Month?
"Extreme market swings reflect uncertainty"
- Globe and Mail
Dear Black People: We Would, But There's A New Season Of Basement Dwellers To Binge Watch
"'Dear White People: Take the time to listen'"
- Toronto Star
Welcome To The (Old) New Economy, Where Cutting Employment Is Job One!
"Saudi Aramco slashes jobs after oil price dip"
- Toronto Star
"Aurora Cannabis to lay off more staff
Pot company also plans to close five of its sites over next two quarters"
- Toronto Star
"EasyJet to cut third of workforce, plans to resume some service"
- Toronto Star
"Postmedia to lay off dozens of employees"
- Toronto Star
"SaltWire chain sheds 109 jobs"
- Toronto Star
"Canada Goose cutting about 125 jobs
Toronto apparel maker has permanently laid off 2.5% of global workforce"
- Toronto Star
"Molson to cut 190 jobs by leaving Montreal
New brewery complex will be more automated"
- Toronto Star
"Bombardier to lay off nearly 200 GTA workers"
- Toronto Star
"Thyme Maternity, Addition Elle to close
Reitmans to shutter stores, lay off 1,400 staff as it restructures"
- Toronto Star
"Barrick Niugini cuts 2,650 mine workers
Production was halted in April after special mining lease wasn't extended"
- Toronto Star
"WestJet to lay off more than 3,300 workers"
- Toronto Star
"Rolls-Royce planning to eliminate 9,000 jobs
Majority of cuts are expected to be in the civil aerospace business"
- Toronto Star
No? Just Watch Us!
"Canada can't be too smug"
- Toronto Star
Of Course, The Detail Is Lost When The Creatures Enter Your Belly...
"Creatures of the Deep In Vivid New Detail"
- New York Times
"Sea Delicacy in Spain Becomes Daily Fare"
- New York Times
Don't They Understand That The Work Is Its Own Reward?
Even The Greenest Writer Knows That!
"Front-line workers could see cut in holidays
Queen's Park is about to cut mandatory statutory days to three from nine, Unifor says"
- Toronto Star
Whereas The White Celebrities Who Are Responsible For Racism Are Praised?
"'The cringe is real!'
White celebrities mocked for I Take Responsibility anti-racism PSA"
- Toronto Sun
We Have Met The Enemy, And It Is Pogo
"Readers share their tales of opossum encounters"
- Toronto Star
"They Protect Our Offices, For One Thing..."
"Don't forget the good work police do"
- Toronto Sun
And, I'm Going To Force You To Wade Through A Lot Of Cant Before Telling You What It Is
"O'Toole and MacKay bring signs of life to a sputtering Conservative contest
The Tory campaign hasn't seen a fundamental shift to coincide with current issues, but it has also resisted a move to the populist-nationalist right. While both leading candidates have much in common, only one currently offers a coherent plan"
- Globe and Mail
I Wanted Serious News. Did I...Pick Up An Issue Of The Onion By Mistake?
"Corporations need to share the wealth with workers"
- Toronto Star
It's Almost Like Rocket Man Planned It!
"Two Years Later, Nuclear Talks Yield Little"
- New York Times
How Are They Going To Grind Up Their Bodies To Get Them Into Vials?
"'I'm healthy, so I can do this'
Thousands of volunteers will be the key ingredient of any coronavirus vaccine"
- Toronto Star
"Who Did?"
"That's Right."
"Who Warned That The Pandemic Was Still In Its Ascendancy?"
"They Most Certainly Did."
"What Was The Name Of The Agency That Warned That The Pandemic Was Still In Its Ascendancy?"
"WHO!"
"That's What I'm Trying To Find Out!"
It Would Be Funny If So Many People Hadn't Already Died
"WHO warns pandemic still in its ascendancy"
- Toronto Star
