Don't Question Headline's Patriotism
Unless YOU Are Prepared To Take the Citizenship Test and Live With the Consequences!

Are We Talking About A Library Book?

"Overdue or overreaction?" - Toronto Star

 To Make It A Mindless Killer?
That Kind Of Operation Only Happens In The Movies!

"Should I rewire the flea-market chandelier gathering dust in my closet?" - Globe and Mail

 It's Not New: Detractors Savaged Salk And Chastised Curie
Sadly, It Comes With The Territory

"It's easy to trash Tam and hate WHO, but is it fair?" - Toronto Star

The Delayed Holiday Inn's, But If You Promise Not To Tell Anybody, I'll Sneak It Back Into A Room There As Soon As It Is Safe

"Whose Bible is it, exactly?" - Toronto Star

Make It Out Of Chocolate

"How can I get my child to start something new and stick with it?" - Globe and Mail

It Depends On How Many Hours You're Willing To Allow Your Planner To Keep You Waiting On The Phone

"With a dream wedding on hold, can you get a refund?" - Toronto Star

On Your Feet

"What's the best way to do a pedicure at home?" - Globe and Mail

Oh, Yeah - This Captures The City To A Tea

"Is there trouble with T.O. bubble?" - Toronto Star

Under Current Circumstances, That Would Be A Dream Outcome!

"Are Canadian banks in for another tepid year?" - Globe and Mail

Greens Would Be Greener, Sourballs Would Taste Sweeter And We Wouldn't Have Felt The Acute Loss Of Leaving Childhood Innocence Behind As We Grew Up

"What if Ballard had been bought out?" - Toronto Star

 There Are As Many Dates As There Are Couples
Use Them With Extreme Caution...

"Are there different varieties of dates? How do you use them?" - Globe and Mail

Of Course Not! It Started When The Lichtenstein Ambassador Spilled Hot Chocolate All Over Adolph Hitler's Dog, Just As The History Books Always Said

"Do we remember the Second World War wrong?" - Toronto Star

It's No Longer News

"Why are the media so reluctant to call Canadian politicians liars?" - Globe and Mail

Yes, Although I Tend To Be Completely Mistaken Ten Times Out Of Nine

"Can you predict a creative hot streak?" - Toronto Star

Which Came First: The Chicken Or The Nest Egg?

"Can hens peck away at poverty?" - Toronto Star

Crabularly

"There's no way back, so how are we moving forward?" - Globe and Mail

Try To Find A Ripe Tomato At The Grocery Store

"Opening doors in a closed-door world
Canada needs immigrants - but how do we convince ourselves of that after months of isolation and closed borders?" - Toronto Star

I'd Like To Think Most Of Us Are More Focused On Whether Or Not We Can Save Grandma

"The question on everyone's mind: Can we save summer?" - Globe and Mail

 I Have No Idea. Or...Do I?
This Surprise Contradiction In A Headline Is Lame. Or...Is It?

"It can't go on this way. Or can it?" - Toronto Star

Faulty Air Breaks In Their Horse-drawn Carriages

"What Befell the Original 1 Percent?" - New York Times

It Depends On Whether It's Performed By The Sex Pistols Or The Edinburgh Bagpiper Brigade

"Is ‘God Save the Queen' a rallying cry or a swan song?" - Toronto Star

Such An Old Question!

"Is the way we think about aging wrong?" - Toronto Star

Sailing Over The Sea Of Bitter Recriminations

"How can we move past unresolved arguments?" - Toronto Star

Rake 'Em!

"It's time to ask - what if these Leafs just aren't good enough?" - Globe and Mail

When Our Family Gathers To Mourn Us On Zoom

"When will we know if we made a mistake?" - Toronto Star

Murmuring Gently To Yourself In A Kitchen On A Stage

"Aside from pies, how can I cook with rhubarb?" - Globe and Mail

Fourteen Billion Years, Give Or Take...

"The big question: When will this all end?" - Toronto Star

I Blame Obama

"How did hospital food go from freshly baked rolls to frozen pucks of beef stew in just three decades?" - Toronto Star

It Gives Kooks Something To Talk About Other Than Pedophile Rings Run Out Of Non-existent Pizzeria Basements

"What good is a vaccine if we don't all take it?" - Toronto Star

 Well, Umm, You Know, You May Just...Uhh...I Mean...Err...
DON'T YOU KNOW THIS IS THE AGE OF FINANCIAL INSTABILITY WHEN SENIORS ARE EXPECTED TO NEVER RETIRE‽

"My employer is U.S.-based - am I still covered by Canadian laws when I retire?" - Globe and Mail

Pretend They Have Vaccine All Over Them

"How do I stop biting my nails?" - Toronto Star