Thank you, The Mealy Day, for signing up for The Daily Me. Our search engine has combed the Internet for up to the minute news items that fit the profile you have so painstakingly filled out for us. Then, we weighted the probability that you would be interested in these articles against forms which showed what people with tastes similar to yours have liked reading in the past. And, then, we were preparing an article on the efforts to appeal the repeal of the Affordable Care Act in the Supreme Court when Spellcheck flagged the word "pre-existing." Among the choices of alternatives it offered was "pee-existing." According to our word processing programme, pre-existing = not okay. Pee-existing = just dandy. And, we thought, Yeah, that pretty much sums up everything that's wrong with America!
Enjoy,When It Qomes To Qonspiracies, There's No Just No Pleasing People!
According to Conservative MP Pierre Poilievre, Prime Minister Justin Trudeau's talk of a "Great Reset" (a term many world leaders use to suggest that the aftermath of the COVID pandemic will be an opportunity to rework international systems to help those who have been traditionally disadvantaged by them) is part of a conspiracy by "global financial elites" to "re-engineer economies and societies and empower the elites at the expense of the people."
At first, critics responded that he was just jealous that the Liberals wanted to take credit for what has been the main reason for the existence of modern Conservatives: empowering elites at the expense of the people. "I suppose it speaks well of them that they want to to empower Canadian elites at the expense of the people rather than international elites," wrote leftbehind027 on Twitter. "That's very patriotic of the Conservatives."
Upon further consideration, critics questioned the source of the attack the Conservatives were trying to use against the Liberals. "This is just warmed over Qanon Qonspiracy quakery," pwnrhgtwngnstnspwn027 wrote on Facebook. "For a party that claims to put country first, you would think they would have come up with a home-grown conspiracy theory - what have they been funding all those right-wing think tanks and media outlets for all of these years? That's not very patriotic of the Conservatives!"
SOURCE: Glob and Maul
[http://www.globandmaul.com/servlet/story/RTGAM.20201120.eladvote1120_@/BNStory/newsOops2020/]
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It Will Go Back To The Level Of Arrogance We Had Seen Over The Previous 200
SOURCE: No Comment Quotes
[http://thesepeopleareinsane.psy/update.toshtml]
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The Laugh's On Everybody
Now that the Republicans have decisively lost the Presidential election, they should enter a period of soul-searching. The first question they should ask themselves is: why did over 75 million Americans vote for the Democrats? Perhaps the Republicans should abandon the extreme wing of their party and take more centrist policy positions in order to attract moderate voters. If they ever want to win the popular vote again, they really need to -
Oh, ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! You should see the look on your face! I really had you going there, for a moment, didn't I? Republicans? Introspection? I've seen garden gnomes that were more thoughtful! Unless this was the election that changed everything. Could this be the one that finally makes them take stock of where they are and how to return to some semblance of sane policies that would actually help the people they purport to represe -
Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!
SOURCE: Bill's Bitter Pill
[http://bill.geekgoons.com/]
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Time For A (Diaper) Change In The UK
Some young children have forgotten how to eat with a knife and fork and others have regressed back into diapers as the coronavirus pandemic and related school closures take a toll on young people's learning.
"Is that a problem?" asked British Prime Minister Boris Johnson as he stuffed his gob with a handful of mashed potatoes. "Because - mumph harrumph mumph - I really don't see a - oh, yummies! - problem, here."
SOURCE: The Smarmian
[http://www.thesmarmian.com/nation/2020/nov/16/boris-needs-a-new-bib]
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Who Is...Well, Isn't It Kind Of Obvious, Alex?
He was the host of Jeopardy for over 35 years before he died of pancreatic cancer at the age of 80.
SOURCE: Obits 'R Us
[http://www.king.ids.net/~bdlm/obits_r_us.html]
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Who Was That Maskless Man?
The son of the President, Donald Trump, Jr., is quarantining after having tested positive for the coronavirus.
"I'm - COUGH COUGH - fine. COVID is no worse - no worse - HACK HACK - worse than the common flu!" he said in a video. "Masks are not - masks are - masks - god, where is the oxygen tank‽
To show how seriously he takes getting the disease, Trump, Jr. will be flying to Mar-a-lago to attend the family's annual Thanksgiving celebration. "He knows that if he doesn't suck it up and come, I'll kill him," President Trump commented. Without irony, as is his way.
SOURCE: The Podunk Mash & Enquirer
[http://www.podunkmash.com/wp-dyn/articles/A49882-2020Nov21.html]
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How Many Words Rhyme With "Deadly?"
Charles McVetySOURCE: Poetry, Cornered
[http://www.cibc.com/ca/personal/poetrycorner/817.html]
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d) All Of The Abo - Err, Below...
1 for the ages...the Middle Ages) The web site of Radio France Internationale recently published the pre-written obituaries of about 100 people who were not dead, including Queen Elizabeth, Pele, Clint Eastwood and Brigitte Bardot. What should have given away to readers that rumours of the well-known public figures' deaths had been greatly exaggerated?SOURCE: Les Pages aux Folles
[http://www.lespagesauxfolles.ca]
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