And the Lord created free will that his beloved people might choose between right and wrong. And, lo, the people chose to infect themselves and their loved ones with a deadly virus. And the Lord looked upon them and didst smite His forehead with the palm of His hand. Didst smite His forehead with the palm of His hand hard.
What the Lord, despite being omniscient, couldn't have anticipated was that the people would choose to give their free will over to religious leaders such as Pastor Todd Bell of the Calvary Baptist Church. Over 130 people were diagnosed with COVID-19 as a direct result of a wedding ceremony Pastor Bell conducted in Maine.
This is a strange interpretation of the biblical injunction to be fruitful and multiply - you wouldn't have thought it would have applied to deadly viri. On the other hand, sacrificing actual lives to get supreme court judges who will save the lives of theoretical children is worth it for many religious leaders.
In the basket of deplorables, this is what passes for compassion. Lord help us all.
What Have You Got Against Sweatpants? Is There Some Sort Of Law In The Basket Of Deplorables That People Have To Be Uncomfortable In Their Workplace?
So. Much. Deplorable! It burns! It burns!
Michael R. Caputo, assistant secretary of public affairs at the Department of Health and Human Services, must have stock in ammunition manufacturers, because he's done his part to stoke the flames of the coming civil war. And that was only the forshpeis!
In a ranty video, he also accused the CDC of politicizing the virus to make President Trump look bad. Because COVID-19 supports Democrats. And, here, I thought the virus was a major supporter of the Four Horsemen and a Mule Party.
By the way, there's no such thing as a grievous venial sin. Venial sins are relatively minor; Caputo was thinking of mortal sins. If he had been serious about invoking God's wrath, he probably should have consulted Pastor Bell first.
Meanwhile, the good Lord didst find Himself getting used to the headache caused by the smiting of His forehead with the palm of His hand. A couple Tylenol 3s didn't hurteth, either...
I Do Not Arresting People Before They Commit A Crime; I'm Just Saying That Philip K. Dick Was A Prophet!
In the real world, if you make an assertion about somebody, you generally need proof that it is true. If you accuse a co-worker of stealing your ham sandwich from the break room fridge, it helps to point to the mustard on his chin. If you claim that your partner is cheating on you, strange perfume on their clothes may help build the case, although photos of snogging in a seedy motel room are much better. Proof: without it, we're all living in a strange fantasy land between our ears.
Or, as we like to think of it, the Basket of Deplorables.
Roger "I'm the real ferking Roy Cohen, and don't you ferking forget it you ferking loser!" Stone has been blowing smoke for Donald Trump since he first tasted cigarettes, so this tirade should come as no surprise. Notice, he doesn't quite say that illegal aliens will vote en masse for Joe Biden; proof and all that. He merely implies it with extreme prejudice.
As for the Daily Beast: if President Trump had his way, talking about the size of his inauguration crowd or hands would be seditious. Undermining the separation of powers or citizens' belief in free and fair elections? Nothing treasonous about that...in the strange fantasy land between Stone's ears.
Meanwhile, the good Lord didst wonder if He wast creating a groove in His forehead by repeatedly smiting it with the palm of His hand.
The 2020 Coronapalooza Tour Has Many Fathers
There's disingenuous, and then there's asshole. When people's lives are at stake, it isn't really all that fine a line.
Tim Murtaugh, a spokesman for the Trump campaign, had the unenviable task of defending the decision to carry on holding indoor rallies in the middle of a pandemic. Reference to open casinos (with no mention of the fact that they are mostly in states run by virus-friendly Republicans)? Check. Reference to protesters (with no mention of the fact that the vast majority of them wore masks - those attending anti-Trump protests, in any case)? Double check. If that's even a thing. And if it isn't, it should be. Elevating the right to assemble above your grandmother's right to live? Check...your morals at the door.
And the good Lord didst survey himself in the mirror and wonderethed if the groove in His forehead that He hadst created by repeatedly smiting it with the palm of His hand was a look for Him. And, He saw that it was good.
