Thank you, Twilila S. Faulk, for signing up for The Daily Me. Our search engine has combed the Internet for up to the minute news items that fit the profile you have so painstakingly filled out for us. Then, we weighted the probability that you would be interested in these articles against forms which showed what people with tastes similar to yours have liked reading in the past. And, then, we had to use the new bathroom on Parliament Hill. We hadn't planned on it, but, honestly, we needed a break from debates about whether the government should have a Minister of the Middle Class now that the country pretty much doesn't have one.
Well. We oohed at the neo-Gothic architecture. We aahed at the shiny fixtures and drinking fountains. We oh ohed at the long lineup for the women's bathroom. Honestly, when will building designers take into account that women's bodies are different than men's and design bathrooms accordingly?
We're not holding our breath. We're holding in something else. Can anybody tell us where to find the nearest bush?
Enjoy,You know how you've always had this nagging feeling in the back of your mind that if you settle, over time things get worse? Here's proof:
YOU WANT: John F. KennedySOURCE: The Amazing Chocolate Yummies Blog
[http://www.chocoyummies.net/]
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Annihilation All Rational Thought
Annihilation, the cinematic adaptation of the first novel in Jeff Vandermeer's Southern Reach trilogy, has detractors. Vocal and voluminous detractors.
"Annihilation?" complained shiathebeef27 on Farcebook. "It's just an all-female remake of Stalker! They took a brilliant film a totally ferked it to be politically correct! I mean, totally ferked it!"
"Umm, there really is no connection between the two movies," argued Annihilation director Alex Garland. "It's a different story from different source material."
On a video on YahooTube, Martin Vendibles of The Two Groovy Movie Dudies channel broke down and sobbed, "Seeing Annihilation destroyed my childhood film school memories! I'll never look at Tarkovsky the same way again!"
Garland sighed. "Fans!"
SOURCE: Imaginary Movie Database
[http://www.imd.com/title/tt0174290/]
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Never Attribute To Malice What Can Be Explained By Policy Incoherence
During the provincial election, the Conservatives told us that cancelling green energy contracts would save taxpayers money. Turns out that it will cost Ontario $231 million.
Then, Energy Minister Greg Rickford disseminated links to articles that argued that climate change wasn't real. Under questioning in the legislature, Rickford said, "Yeah, okay, sure, climate change is a thing. Happy, now?"
A few minutes after the session was adjourned, Rickford held a press conference in which he looked like his last meal before being taken out to be hanged was roast mealworms with a cricket sauce. He said, "Yeah. Climate change. Real. Caused by human beings. Whatever."
This whole issue has been very confusing, so I decided to tune it out and went to binge watch the new season of The Good Place. As I did, I couldn't help but wonder: was this the Ford government's plan all along?
SOURCE: NOW and THEN
[http://www.now&thentoronto.com/news/story.cfm?content=249772]
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Rule Britannia! Britannia Rules The Daze!
1 1ders) Match the statement with the politician who made it:SOURCE: Les Pages aux Folles
[http://www.lespagesauxfolles.ca]
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The Flowing Streams Are Warm And Golden
Remember when we thought that genteel anti-Semitism was the worst thing that could happen to North American Jews? Good times. Fortunately (broadly defined), Rick Wiles, pastor of the Flowing Streams Church, is always willing to stick his head out of the hole in the Basket of Deplorables to remind us that the reality is much less comfortable. If you believe that Donald Trump was chosen by Gord to lead the United States, then, I suppose impeaching him would be seen as an act of the devil. At this point, both of them are probably laughing their asses off.
But, "Jew coup?" Really, Rick? I am familiar with the terms "Jew brew" (kosher beer) and "Jew stew" (borscht) and even "Jew Sudoku" (puzzles you don't solve on the Sabbath). But, Jew coup? That whole Jews are traitors with dual allegiance thing is so 1930s, don't you think?
(And, what about Christians? There's Christian...fistin'? Okay, some concepts are fun to contemplate, but, uhh, maybe there are limits to the power of glib rhymes.)
As for your final complaint, Jews haven't taken over a country in modern times; when they were given the state of Israel by the United Nations, they did not kill millions of anybodys, let alone Christians. About the worst thing Jews would do if they did take over a country would be trying to sell Christians mutual funds, or trying to reduce the tax burden on Christians who already own a lot of mutual funds. The bastards!
Sometimes, it's hard to distinguish the Basket of Deplorables from a rock creepy crawlies live under.
SOURCE: Karl's Big Red Web Page of Unreconstructed Marxism
[http://www.bigred.commie/articles/218^.htm]
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The Entertainment Medium That Time Forgot
Cineplex has announced that it will open a new entertainment complex at the Erin Mills Town Centre in Mississauga. Junxion will feature a food hall with an indoor food truck, arcade-style games, virtual reality experiences, an area for live events and a rooftop patio. There was no indication that the movie theatre would contain any actual movie screens.
When asked about this, Sarah Van Lange, Cineplex' executive director of communications, stated, "If guests want to watch movies that badly, they have their phones!"
SOURCE: Entertainment Right Now, Canada!
[http://www.canada.com/globulltv/globullshows/ern_canada.html]
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Cartoonist Gahan Wilson has died at the age of 89 of dementia. He will live on in our hearts. And our stomachs. Especially when the soup is ready. Wilson came from good stock, and went to good stock.
SOURCE: Obits 'R Us
[http://www.king.ids.net/~bdlm/obits_r_us.html]
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