Thank you, Bernadette Neener-Neiner, for signing up for The Daily Me. Our search engine has combed the Internet for up to the minute news items that fit the profile you have so painstakingly filled out for us. Then, we weighted the probability that you would be interested in these articles against forms which showed what people with tastes similar to yours have liked reading in the past. And, then, guinea pig ice cream. It's a thing. In Ecuador. We're salivating just thinking about it. Seriously. Who wouldn't want a smooth milk product that tastes like their nephew Logan's favourite pet?
And it's so simple! Just concentrate guinea pig flavour after cooking and preparing a pate from its flesh, add milk or cream and refrigerate until it has the rough consistency of ice cream.
And, yes, it tastes like chicken. Chicken you could have played with as a child.
Enjoy,Humility Studies Are The Most Awesome Branch Of Psychological Research Ever!
Psychologists are taking a second look at humility as a means of developing a happier life. Some studies indicate that being humble may be critical to sustaining a committed relationship, as well as nourishing mental health more broadly by providing a psychological tool to help shrug off grudges.
"Fake news!" shouted US President Donald Trump. "This is another example of Deep State psychologists trying to interfere with my totally legal, legally legit, legitimately mandated political agenda. You all know it's true. Don't deny it. You know it's true. What did humility ever do for Roy Cohen? I'll tell you what - slow him down! That's what. You think Vladimir Putin at home in his pyjamas is humble? Are you on drugs? Humility? Pfah! Crooked Freuds!"
SOURCE: The Chronicle of Lower Education
[http://lowerchronicle.com/weekly/v64/i13/36a02601.htm]
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There Is No C*nt In Country
Somebody spray painted a vulgar word for a man's sexual anatomy over a photo of Conservative leader Andrew Scheer's face on the window of his campaign office.
"Yeah, if you're a man in politics, this is the kind of reception you can expect," Scheer sighed. "Men are always sexualized and attacked for the nature of our bodies rather than the value of our ideas!"
Scheer added that he hoped that such acts of vandalism wouldn't deter men and boys from pursuing a career in politics.
As if.
SOURCE: The Irrational
[http://www.mc.ca/stories/2019/10/23/anatomicallyincorrect191023]
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Santayana Was A Pinko Socialist Bastard Intent On Undermining The Presidency Of A Duly Elected President!
As the evidence that President Donald Trump withheld military aid for Ukraine in return for an investigation into the Bidens mounts, it becomes harder and harder to defend his actions. Unless you live in the basket of deplorables, whose motto is: "Faster, stronger, shamelessier."
In a single interview, Republican Representative Mo Brooks manages to pull off a reverse Godwin's Law with a double twist: perpetrating a big lie while accusing his opponents of using the big lie themselves. But you know what they say: if you can't argue a case on the merits, argue on the law. If you can't argue on the law, argue on the process. If you can't argue on the process, argue on the basis of the colourful butterflies in your head.
The twist? Although the Nazis were called the "National Socialist" party, they were really a far right Fascist party. Doublling down on the although: the Democrats are only a socialist party in the fever dreams of Republican residents of the basket of deplorables. Brooks is comparing something that wasn't true to something that doesn't exist: it's like comparing apples enriched with uranium to oranges that can phase shift between universes.
If that's hard for you to get your head around, you obviously don't live in the basket. If you could not only follow it, but enthusiastically embrace it, I have some land there I'd like to sell you...
SOURCE: Karl's Big Red Web Page of Unreconstructed Marxism
[http://www.bigred.commie/articles/218^.htm]
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They're Trying To Run Articles On All Of The Major Parties, But Their Heart Just Doesn't Seem To Be In It...
SOURCE: Billy-Bob's International House O' Headlines
[http://www.com/lol.pdqfc.wwygw.wyswyg/fid=1346557938]
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In advance of a rally featuring climate activist Greta Thunberg, many people across Alberta planned to drive their trucks aimlessly into the night.
"It's like a tailgate party for the end of the world," said Calgary crankcase oil mogul Philboyd Johnston. "And, if she gets the message that truckers will pollute the air wherever she goes, maybe she'll stop travelling the world with her sick, scary message about the destruction of the environment. Win-win!"
SOURCE: Earth Worst! Journal
[http://www.earthworstjournal.org/article.php?id=521]
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That's Not To Mention The Troops Being Sent To Saudi Arabi - Dammit!
President Trump late Saturday defended his decision to remove U.S. forces from northern Syria ahead of a Turkish military operation, saying "it's time" to bring troops home. The U.S. military has begun bolstering troop numbers in a swath of eastern Syria where U.S. President Donald Trump has said he wants to protect oilfields, U.S. defence officials said Saturday.
"We have to bring our great heroes, our great soldiers, we have to bring them home," Trump said at the Values Voter Summit in Washington, D.C. The additional forces will help "prevent the oilfields from falling back into the hands of ISIS or other destabilizing actors," one US defence official said.
SOURCE: 24 Hour News Mashups
[http://politicalmashups.seeblogspotrun.com/]
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How Can Something Run On Electrons Contribute To A Weighty Mass?
In order to appear hip and happening to young people, the Vatican has announced the release of the eRosary. Made of beads and a "smart cross" to store data, the device syncs up with "the official prayer app of the Pope's Worldwide Prayer Network."
If the Catholic Church is serious about this, they might want to update their worship. Take, for instance, "The Lord's Prayer." This version might appeal more to the demographic the Vatican is reaching for:
Our Father who art in mainframe,SOURCE: Geekly News & World Report
[http://www.geeklynews.com/geeklynews/issue/110711/geeklynews/01doingthevaticancan.htm]
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